Bigfoot Sighting at No-Hands Bridge!

Auburn California Astounded! Sasquatch Sighted at No-Hands Bridge!

It was "all hands on deck" for the Auburn California Animal Control Department as multiple Bigfoot reports from shaken and disgusted hikers flooded the 911 emergency phone line. "We wuz overwhelmed by the sheer number of calls from these back-packing types. You'd think they wanted to disconnect from civilization and not carry a cel phone but no... they called and kept calling as long as the mangy ape was in the area!", mumbled an overworked City Dog-catcher turned part-time Bigfoot Hunter.  

Sasquatch caught on camera by horrified hiker!

Several Day-Hikers were able to take photos of the beast. "It was evil, elusive, and wily!" exclaimed one semi-nature stroller. "It was there one second then gone the next. Birds and coyotes in the area went real quiet. Squirrels were suddenly alert and alarmed. They are mortal enemies of Bigfoots. Only the beast's odor and an ever-present swarm of flies nearby gave any indication it was near!" 

The sneaky Bigfoot caught hiding behind a rock. 

 

An amazingly coincidental eye-witness was Ms. Kikki Dumpster, an intrepid member of the YETI NOT SETI Institute bored of directors for the study of Cryptozoology. "Yes, it's unbelievable that I was able to actually see this mythical ape-man of the forest, garbage dumps, and fast-food joints. I think the Bigfoot was actually trying to play hide-and-go-seek, but like a dog it thought that if IT couldn't see YOU, then YOU couldn't see IT. They're not very smart, these Sasquatches."

 

The Sasquatch Beast lurking about, looking for something to lurk.

 

Dr. Karl Blinng, Director-for-Life of the Institute, was jealous. "I'm jealous. I've spent my entire Cryptozoological Career looking for a real live Bigfoot and haven't spotted one yet! So many close calls! Drat it all! Beginners luck I say! Beginners luck! Not fair!". At that point Blinng calmed down, took a deep breath and a shot of cheap whisky, and returned to preparing an important Bigfoot presentation he will give at a fun & wild, er somber & prestigious Sasquatch Conference in Cancun Mexico. 
 

Erk Holohead, a member of the Bored of Directors, was speculative. "Kikki had beginner's luck for sure. Now, bringing in real Sasquatch DNA or fecal matter... that would be impressive! Speaking of speculation... I've been speculating our Institute's orphan-and-widow funds on Crypto-Currencies. Buy high, sell low! It's always worked before. If these investments go south, I'll play hide-and-go-seek with the IRS and SEC. Been there, done that. Pesky extradition treaties only work in some Latin American hide-aways. My Spanish is pretty good nowadays!" 

Bigfoot Sighted at Henry Coe State Park!

Hikers Aghast as Sasquatch Crosses Trail at Henry Coe State Park! Joggers not bothered!

Boy Scout Tenderfoots on a Bataan Death March, Crunchy Granola Hikers, Fanatical Ultra-Marathoners, Trendy Designer Joggers and Seriously Lost Tourists were all astounded to see a real-life Bigfoot scamper across their paths at Henry Coe State Park this weekend. "I was at the park to hunt for rare quartz deposits. Instead I found rare and disgusting fresh Sasquatch deposits!", sighed a disappointed prospector. 

Fleeting glimpse of the Sasquatch. The beast headed towards higher ground.

Dr. Karl Blinng, Director-For-Life of the YETI NOT SETI Institute for Cryptology and anything else which can make a quick buck-or-two without too much work, was unfazed. "I'm not phased! I'm phased-out but not phased! This sighting is concrete proof that Bigfoots roam the Santa Clara Valley and the surrounding mountains. Steve Joobs was likely a Bigfoot. Steve Wozzzniak is definitely a Bigfoot, in my expert opinion. Space Alien, er, Mark Snickerberrrgh was a Bigfoot. Heck, all my opinions are expert, just ask me! I'll pay $3,000 in US Dollars cash for any fresh Bigfoot deposits. Don't try to fool me, I know what bear poop looks like, OK!?"

Erk Holohead, a founding member of the bored of directors and in charge of various get-rich-quick schemes for the Institute, was confusingly indifferent about the recent sighting. "This Sasquatch spotting was remarkable, in an indifferent sort of way? Henry Coe State Park is nothing but trauma and torture. I remember my first Tenderfoot brat Boy Scout back-packing trip was in this accursed park. I learned about schlepping heavy back-packs, what a 6-mile mountain hike with a 50 pound backpack really felt like, nasty foot blisters, questionable chlorine-pellet potable water, gourmet but crunchy freeze-dried meatballs-and-pasta, "Swiss Piss", fire-baked but severely under-cooked potatoes, epic capture-the-flag-wars, and heroically futile snipe-hunts. During that ordeal I never once saw a Sasquatch! What I did see were mirages and hallucinations of juicy cheese-burgers with aromatic french-fries & catsup, but never once saw a Bigfoot. If we'd have seen a Bigfoot he would have been barbecued instantly."

YETI NOT SETI Launches Conspiracy Protection Research Project!

Foiled Again! Brave YETI NOT SETI Institute Bored Members participate in Risky Brain-Wave Monitoring Blockage Project!

Fortified with shots of cheap cognac and bargain basement rum during an annual meeting in wary Yuba City, California, the YETI NOT SETI Bored of Directors decided by acclamation to launch an exciting research project to determine if Tin-foil Helmets protect humans from top secret government and space-alien brainwave monitoring spy projects. It is hoped that amongst the many special things learned during the experiment, this knowledge will also protect wearers from hi-tech bodily-insertion-probes of all kinds. 

This amazingly simple idea was sparked after Ricard Scheister discovered ancient make-your-own-conspiracies kits at an Area 51 garage sale and eagerly shared them with the team. "This is the research tool we needed!", exclaimed Scheister, "If the NSA and the King of Spain are reading our brainwaves, we hope these helmets will stop them. Then maybe we'll finally find some Bigfoot DNA and other precious bodily fluids!"  

Erk Holohead in protective tin-foil head-gear, holding the Institute's precious build-a-conspiracy theory toolkit. "After using this research kit a few times, I now always wear my tin-foil hat." whispered Erk, "Just in case 'THEY' are listening. 'THEY' are. Shhhh!"

Ricard Scheister, AKA "The Invisible Man", showcasing his patented full head protective foil-helmet. "This new model works great! While I tend to bump into things and scare small children and pesky dogs,  it's a small price to pay to protect my brain-waves from 'THEM'!"

Kikki Durham exhibits multiple paranoia regarding amazing but true conspiracies. "Yep, I've got them all: Bigfoots, Chemtrails, Targeted EMP Attacks from Power Lines... and Toaster Oven behaviour in general. Don't Laugh! You'll see! You'll see when the AI apocalypse arrives and YOUR toaster oven comes after you! Fools!"

Not only is Divot Looney a Sasquatch risk taker, he exhibits little common sense in other key areas related to personal safety. "I intentionally built my tin-foil hat with a heightened hi-gain antennae, to better monitor attempts from 'THEM' to turn my brain to mush." It's working. My brain is feeling quite mushy now!

Institute Director-For-Life, Karl Blinng, is ready for anything. "It is nice to know the FBI, CIA, KGB, MI6, NASA, and many other organizations can no longer monitor what I'm thinking. The tin-foil hat is working so well I can longer hear myself think. I hear other voices instead!"

Brucillus Hail sports an innovative Foil Hat as a secondary level experiment. "Lab Safety is for Whimps! Not only is this innovative tin-foil hat better at stopping unwanted brain-wave monitoring from 'THEM', it acts as a unique sun and rain protection device. I think I'll call it a "HAT". Wait... who put that thought in my brain?!

Token Female Added to the Institute's Bored of Directors!

Woman admitted to the YETI NOT SETI Institute's Bored of Directors! 

In major news today, the Institute's Board of Directors has voted 27 to 15 to allow the illustrious Ms. Kikki Dumpster to join the Board. Once her check clears. Kikki is the first Female in the history of the Institution to be a voting member of the Bored. 

Learn more at: https://yeti-not-seti-institute.blogspot.com/2026/02/news-female-joins-yeti-not-seti.html 

Ms. Dumpster's joyful reaction upon learning she has been nominated and accepted to the Institute's Bored of Directors.