Lassen is Lousy with Bigfoots!

 Multiple Mt. Lassen Bigfoot Sightings! Backcountry Areas Closed! Bears are boggled. 

More mysterious sightings of rummaging Ape Men have been made in the Mt. Lassen Volcanic National Park area. As a precaution, the Park Service is doubling day-visitor fares to take advantage of the surge in cryptozoologist visitors, and has stopped all pizza delivery in the backcountry regions. 

Sasquatch caught crossing a previously unspoiled steam at the National Park. The terrorized trout scattered in a fishy frenzy, as they can smell many things underwater. Bigfoot wrecked a good day of fly-fishing for fanatical fisherman.

A picturesque waterfall plus tourists plus a not-nice Sasquatch spells trouble. This idyll scene was soon emptied of all humans and squirrels, who fled in a panic at the sight of the dangerous beast and his foul unwashed odors. 

Local residents are alarmed at this recent sighting of large hairy ape-beasts. There is some controversy.  "I knew this was going to happen sooner or later!", said one grizzled local. "Why there's even naïve folks encouraging these big monkeys to come and visit the park! They even have a fancy Bigfoot crossing sign set up. I mean, you might as well just give these Sasquatches the keys to the Park and say 'here you are, come and take it'!"

Dr. Blinng, Chairman and President-for-Life of the world famous YETI NOT SETI Institute in scenic Yuba City, California, granted a short press interview on this topic to a local middle school ace news reporter. Blinng thinks these remarkable Mt. Lassen reports are genuine. "I'm sure this really happened. In fact I'm POSITIVE it really happened. I have my sources, I pay them well... ice cold beer works best."