Sunday, August 17, 2014

Sasquatch Seen Sauntering Through Savanna Grassland!

Bigfoot Spotted in Grassland During Gracious Lobster Dining Ice Age.

Alert and inebriated guests at a fund raiser for the Arts in Livermore Valley were treated to a rare Bigfoot sighting. While truly amazing and shocking, the passing Sasquatch gained little notice as most of the guests were either slap-happy from too much Wente wine, or frozen stiff from the wind and fog that ripped through the prestigious Cape Cod Lobster Fest event.

Savanna Sasquatch sighted in Livermore.

The fund raiser director was shocked. "I was shocked", she said, "First we ran out of finger food and organic tofu salad, then those fancy olives with tooth picks in them were gone, then we were in danger of running out of delicious luke-warm lobster bathed in margarine. Man, those people could eat, like they'd never seen melted lard before! Then the wind kicked up. Then the fog rolled in. As the theme of the event was "Cape Cod Nudity Beach and Lobster Boil", people were suffering from the unexpected cold weather. Then this nasty beast lurking in the grassland was spotted strolling nearby next to the golf course. Thank God we had exciting radio and TV personalities to entertain the crowd, or we would have had panic!".

Nearby golfers took little notice, as the fourth hole had a particularly devilish angle involving sand traps for chip shots and putting. "Bigfoot? What Bigfoot? I had $100.00 riding on that hole, and messed up my putt thanks to the commotion over at that fancy artsy fartsy party. Screw Sasquatch!" said a frustrated local duffer.

Livermore police are once again flummoxed by yet another Sasquatch sighting. "Why us? What did we do to deserve this yet again?", said an exasperated spokesman. Livermore has been the victim of numerous Bigfoot sightings in the last few years for no apparent reason, other than the fact the city is host to a top secret government research laboratory which is harboring revolutionary alien teeth cleaning technologies and is attempting a dangerous experiment to combine brussel sprouts and oregano through laser driven nuclear fusion.

Tuesday, August 12, 2014

YETI not SETI Institute Director Back at Work after IRS Agreement.

YETI not SETI Institute Director released on plea-bargain and parole.

Esteemed Director of the World Famous YETI not SETI Institute Returns to Work.

Residents were enthusiastic about Dr. Blinng's return.