Is Quatchi the Sasquatch Mascot a Fake?
Vancouver Olympic Committee on Defense! Again!
Does Olympic Mascot Quatchi have a single shred of BigFoot DNA in its bones? Or are we taking Marmot Impostor?!
Yet another scandal has erupted at this year's Vancouver Winter Olympics Games, as professional BigFoot experts across the world accuse the Winter Olympics Committee of using a miserable marmot mascot in place of a real Sasquatch.
"If that Marmot Mascot, this so-called 'Qautchi', is a real BigFoot, then the Sasquatchology Ph.D. diploma on my wall came from a real university, and it don't!", thundered Canadian Sasquatch expert and curling champion Katii Deeham. "Who are they trying to fool, eh? That pathetic mascot is nothing but a fat, lazy out-of-shape Marmot dressed up to play Ice Hockey. He can't even hold his hockey stick right, eh? How are we Canadians going to take the podium with players like that?!"
Located in the Epicenter of BigFoot's homeland, Vancouver has long been the site of numerous Sasquatch sightings. "We think one of 'em was even Mayor, eh?" said a local, "A pretty good one too!".
Dr. Blinng from the YETI not SETI institute immediately issued a statement, "I'll pay $3,000 Canadian for a DNA sample from that 'Quatchi' fellow and $35.00 for that Hockey stick if he signs it!".