Sunday, August 16, 2009

Bilbao BigFoot Binges on Modern Art at Guggenheim Museum

Sasquatch Cultural Experience at Guggenheim Ends Badly as Beast Mistakes Modern Art Masterpiece for Indoor Plumbing.
Sasquatch destroys priceless modern art building, leaves mayhem and wreckage in his path.
Tourists at the Bilbao Guggenheim caught this rare photograph of the Basque BigFoot wandering aimlessly from the museum with a stupefied,  blank and perplexed look on his face, having viewed hundreds of modern art works on display while being chased by security guards. "He spend some time looking at a Fire Alarm Button, thinking it was 20th Century pop art", said one witness.

No damage was done to the priceless art on display, except for a world famous sculpture entitled "Stuff My Kid Glued Together" by the acclaimed Tokyo avant-garde artist Ichi Misocrazi... BigFoot apparently thought the masterpiece was the Men's Room and used it in a valient attempt to conform to civilized norms regarding such matters. Art experts think the sculpture can be restored after delicate treatment with a fire-hose at full blast and treatment with acids and heavy detergents. Sasquatch was last seen running south towards Madrid, speculation runs wild that the Ape-Man is going to visit El Prado next.

Saturday, August 15, 2009

BigFoot Boogie at Florida Beach Resort!

Sasquatch Squatter at Beach Resort causes Sensation! Florida in a Floozy!
National Dance Competition Judges give out Special BigFoot Awards.

Surprised guests at a Waterpark Beach Resort in Fort Walton Beach were completely stunned when they found a sleepy and serene Sasquatch gazing out at the Gulf of Mexico from their balcony. "The beast left by the balcony as soon as he saw us, he was very shy. It didn't trash the place, but we had to fumigate the condo to get rid of all the fleas he left behind!"

Sasquatch showed up at Fort Walton beach later that day, dumbfounding beach-goers and causing resort guests to flee to nearby bars and ice cream parlors. A roving gang of Jazz and Tap Dancers, attending a nearby national dance competition, spotted the hairy beast and proceeded to choreograph a last-minute, skillful escape by using synchronized Pirouettes, Leaps and Turns to evade the smelly odors wafting down-wind from the creature. The troupe was awarded a "Platinum" for their newly created escape routine by dance competition judges. The Bigfoot was given a "High Gold" for best performance by an Aromatic Mythical or Extinct Missing-Link Creature, but received the lowest possible scoring, "Low Silver", for worrisome personal hygiene habits.