Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Bilbao BigFoot Attacked by Giant Martian Spider!

Basque BigFoot Escapes Alien Martian Spider - -

Actual photo of a Spanish Sasquatch running for his life, chased by an evil metallic Martian Transformer Invasion Spider equipped with heat-ray and green smoke options ($24.95 + Tax). Nearby tourists thought it was performance art. A quick-thinking Basque citizen sprayed insecticide at the Mars Menace, freezing the chrome extra-terrestrial in its tracks. Grateful, the shaken Basque BigFoot enthusiastically gave his saviour a big hug, cracking three of the man's ribs by accident. In hospital, the man was philosophical; "I am glad I killed the alien martian spider and saved that hairy man's life, but cracking my ribs was not so good, anyway the ape-beast smelled like a sewer plant ready to explode. Hey, how come they don't serve good basque wine in this place?!"

Breaking Amazing Bigfoot News: Bigfoot found on Mars!

Monday, July 20, 2009

Sasquatch in Spain!

BigFoot in Bilbao?!
Transatlantic Spanish Sasquatch Sighting Stuns Seasoned Oregano Experts!

"Proof that Basque BigFoots Exist", Claims Local Professor. DEVELOPING...

Spanish Bigfoot in Bilbao creates shock and awe.
Surprise at Spanish Sasquatch - - Actually a Basque Bigfoot?

"Smelly Sasquatch" stops traffic at Plaza de Don Federico Moyua in Central Bilbao, Spain.

Sunday, July 19, 2009

BigFoot Spotted at Stanford Memorial Church!

Stanford Sasquatch Disrupts Freshman Orientation Tour!

Shocked Students Say Stanford too Silly to Attend. Choose UC Santa Cruz Instead. Developing...

Amazed eye-witness caught this live action photo of Sasquatch Streaking Stanford.

Friday, July 10, 2009

BigFoot Crazes Chicago!

Sasquatch Raids Chicago, Illinois Governor Offers Senate Seat as Bribe for BigFoot to Leave. Developing....

Chicago BigFoot looking for trouble Bigfoot brazenly caught jay-walking near the Miracle Mile in Chicago.

 Chicago's Finest have promised to take less coffee breaks and restore calm to the citizens of Chicago after a series of wild BigFoot advenutes near Michigan Avenue and the John Hancock Building. "We've been told to write more parking tickets, that fixes everything", said one local cop.

The Bigfoot raid caused chaos Chicago-style along the Miracle Mile. "I was trying to hail a local taxi on Michigan Avenue in the local tradition, just like the guidebook says, by making rude hand gestures and waving my arms", said one visitor, "I finally got a taxi to stop when this big hairy monkey-man jumps right front of me and waved back at me like he was the Queen of England! The taxi driver said he's seen 'em all but he looked very surprised."

BigFoot causing panic at the John Hancock Building. 47 building office workers resigned their positions after seeing Sasquatch outside and have moved to Des Moines to become Gerbil Farmers.
BigFoot had severe digestive problems according to witnesses. A local resident, hospitalized for sour methane inhalation, said "We call Chicago the Windy City, but when it comes to making wind, Chicago has nothin' on that hairball. Someone needs to give that poor beast a bottle of Beano!"

Dr. Karl Bling, Director of the Yeti not Seti Institute, was unseemingly gleeful. Rubbing his hands together, Dr. Bling cackled "We knew Sasquatch has pathetic personal hygiene, but we never guessed the species was a big green-house gas emittor too. Eureka! I bet there's a Federal Grant or two I can snatch to fund our new BigFoot Climate Change Research Anomoly Project, BFCCRAP. This Fed gig won't need DNA samples, it's easy money. I need the cash! First my nightly martini budget was slashed, then I had to pay-off the IRS to make those pesky tax-dodging charges go away. Pseudo-science is not cheap!"

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Smart Scholastic Sasquatch Scares Stanford Statues!

BigFoot Barges into Stanford University! Famous Anthropologist Flips and Changes Career! DEVELOPING....
Sasquatch is caught on film at Stanford University by a shocked visiting Rhodes Scholar.

"The creature had a simply horrible aroma, and was deliberately scaring the Stanford University Burghers of Calais Statues", he said. "The hairy beast jumped up and down and yelled 'Boo!', frightening the statues so much they covered their eyes in panic" said the visiting professor, who after the BigFoot incident has decided to leave Stanford and become a janitor at the YETI not SETI Institute.

In a related incident, a senior Anthropologist at Stanford resigned his position today and became a used car salesman. "Finding fossilized hobbits in Indonesia was bad enough, but having a real Gigantopithecus badly in need of a bath roaming Stanford University is the last straw... it's getting wierd now. Selling used cars is a more honest trade!"

Only BigFoot News and Sasquatch Sightings brings you these incredible exclusive photos of BigFoot in action!