Saturday, July 16, 2011

Texas Bigfoot Trashes Nature Walk

Bigfoot spotted at Brazos River - - Texas nature trail shuts down in panic!

A outlaw gang of Texas bird watchers, searching for the exceedingly rare spotted-triple-breasted-twit, ran smack into a wild Bigfoot during a recent bird hunting expedition along the Brazos River. Panic ensued. 
"We were already plenty scared, what with the nature trail sign telling us to be careful of feral coyotes, wild hogs, stinging wasps, poisonous snakes, and rancid real estate agents, when all of a sudden this furry apeman jumped right in front of us and got really, really angry. We thought that crazy bigfoot was going to attack us - - but it was mad at the nature trail sign, apparently because bigfoots weren't listed as being dangerous. I think his ego has hurt, poor smelly beast. That bigfoot busted that sign up real good and ran off into the trees."
And Bigfoots? What about Bigfoots?  Visitors complain the nature trial warning sign doesn't warn hikers of a savage Sasquatch danger.
Sheriff patrols, equipped with more coffee and donuts than usual, have been increased along the Brazos river in an attempt to calm the frightened public. Fort Bend County animal control officials released a "no comment" statement when questioned about the bigfoot sighting. "We're not talking", said one county official, "we're still getting flack for the way we handled that flying saucer traffic ticket incident last year.... we're not stupid!"

Saturday, July 2, 2011

Bigfoot Creature Found on Mars!

Shock Rover Image - - Bigfoot Living on Mars... 
Vandalizes Martian Rover...  Massive NASA Cover-up Exposed!
Bigfoot on Mars! Amazing Rover photo captures image of a Martian Sasquatch moments before the Spirit Rover is mysteriously knocked out of action.
There is exclusive and undeniable proof that Bigfoots live on Mars. A California NASA Utility Technical Sanitation engineer (NUTS - Class III), claims NASA is hiding this amazing truth from the public. "The Mars Spirit Rover did not stop operations because someone left the parking brake on by accident - - the official Pasadena Jet Propulsion Laboratory explanation." 
"No! The Spirit Rover was attacked by a obnoxious, juvenile delinquent Sasquatch. The ape-boy maliciously vandalized the mega-million dollar rover and left copious amounts of urea on the Rover's sensitive instruments. That martian monkey-man peed on our delicate, expensive, high-technology sensors. They were ruined in seconds. We're not laughing here at NASA... 10 years of work down the drain, just p*ssed away as it where. That little punk ape-man is going to pay."
NASA rover image: Bigfoot is roaming Mars and up to no good.
Briian Leerky, Ph.D. in Sasquatchology at Houton's Rice University, was really geeked up. "This photo is just incredible - - there is life on Mars, and it is shaggy, hairy, smelly, and would T-P your house in a Martian second if it knew what houses and toilet paper were. Proof of this foul beast on Mars also explains the mysterious trace methane we've found polluting the Martian atmosphere." 

As usual, the YETI not SETI Institute is way ahead of MonsterQuest in reporting these incredible Bigfoot sightings.

Dr. Karl Blinng quickly paid $3,000 cash to obtain the Martian Sasquatch photo. "This new scientific evidence is even better than the Marvin the Martian Opportunity Rover photo I paid $2,400 last year... what a scientific coup. I'll be famous!"