Sunday, August 25, 2013

Vikings Encountered Bigfoot in Ancient Times!

Long Lost Rune in Danish Pastry Museum Reveals Horrific Encounter Between Vikings and Sasquatch Creatures!

A pair of summer interns rummaging through dusty artifacts in a Denmark museum have stumbled upon one of the most incredible Bigfoot archaeological discoveries of the century, or at least for this week. Armed only with a "How to Read Ribald Runes For Fun & Profit" handbook, they were shocked to find an ancient reference to Bigfoots in Viking Era Denmark.

Spotted by some summer interns from the YETI NOT SETI Institute,  
this amazing stone rune from around 1000 AD  says "Bigfoot" in the 
ancient Nordic alphabet.  The Runic symbols in the upper left are 
usually associated with nasty, irritable, or obnoxious news.
"Let me tell you, we are stunned!" said one of the interns, "To find a revealing runic reference referencing revolting, rotten, rancid Sasquatches will rewrite the history books and make the Institute rich! Now maybe my Dad will finally pay for my airfare back to California. I have to go back to school."

Were Bigfoots brought back to Denmark from America? 
A recent photo from a shocked tourist supports this hypothesis. 
Note the reported Bigfoot is in the foreground. 
It is often difficult to tell them apart from Vikings.
Archaeologists are in a state of drama, "The academic fur is flying, and much of it is mangy.", said Hans Bjørno Nielsen, Professor of Crypto-zoology and Viking Stuff at the little known but highly prestigious Institut for Undersøgelse Af Dumme Ting, located in Middelfart, Denmark.

Dr. Karl Blinng, recently released on parole after a plea-bargain regarding some YETI NOT SETI Institute 'creative accounting misunderstandings' with the IRS, could not contain himself. "Ya Sure! We are all Vikings now! This discovery in Denmark confirms a suspicion I've had for years, that if those crazy Vikings managed to make it to New Foundland one thousand years ago, they must have encountered Sasquatches! But how could you tell them apart? Both Bigfoots and Vikings (especially after a 3 month sea voyage), would have been hairy ill-mannered beasts who smell really bad. No wonder the local residents didn't get along with those nasty Nordics." At this point, Dr. Blinng became very agitated and was escorted back to the Institute after these parting words: "Have you ever seen a depiction of Erik The Red? You can't see his face for his beard! One wonders if the Vikings were closely related to Bigfoot? DNA testing! I need DNA testing! Just one stupid double helix strand of Sasquatch genetic material will do the job! Fandens! Hvad kræver det at få nogle gode praktikanter rundt her!"


Anonymous said...

Min Gud, det er virkelig dumt!

Anonymous said...

It is a little known historical fact that the first Sasquatch encounter was perhaps observed by the vikings who settled on the island of Newfoundland in Eastern Canada. Leif Erikson, or Leif the Lucky (son of Erik the Red), and his crew of Norsemen landed on the rugged shores on "The Rock" some one thousand years ago, becoming the first Europeans to set foot in the Western World. Leif kept a record of his journey across the Atlantic, from Iceland to Greenland, and of his experiences whilst in Newfoundland, the last point of land on his voyage. Among his accounts, Leif told of seeing huge hairy men who towered over him and his Berzerker crew (and the vikings are known to have been large men). The "huge hairy men", according to Leif, lived in the Woods and had a rank odour and a deafening shriek. Apparently, Leif had several sightings of the "huge hairy men" before departing the island.