Did Manny Ramirez Use BigFoot Hormones?
A spokesman for Los Angeles Dodger player Manny Ramirez strongly denied today that Ramirez ever took Sasquatch hormone extracts in a bid to improve his baseball performance while a Boston Red Sox player. Authorities are silent on this issue. While Ramirez tested positive for a female fertility drug used to mask steroid usage, no claims have been made that he used Bigfoot hormones.
"I really don't know how to answer that," said Yankees and former Red Sox player Johnny Damon. Damon, under league suspicion of actually being a BigFoot , has kept a low profile during the latest controversy.
Dr. Bling, Director of the Yeti not SETI Institute, temporarily relocated to an all-inclusive resort in
, stated "So what's wrong with Sasquatch Hormones, I ask you? I myself routinely take post-menopausal abyssinian mongoose hormones for digestion, and anyone will tell you I am perfectly abnormal!" Mexico