The City of Hamburg was put on high alert this weekend as random citizens reel from multiple sightings of a rare Bigfoot - - causing mayhem, neurotic dogs, and unprovoked beer drinking in mass quantities. "Hamburg has been horribly hurt.", said the Mayor, Bürgermeister Olaf Scholz, "Heck, Hamburg has been Harried, Hoodwinked, Harrassed, and Humiliated!".
|Amazing Bigfoot Sighting along Lake Alster in Hamburg, causing massive |
panic amongst terrified yippy yapping little fluffy dogs and irritating honking geese.
"I was terrified!", exclaimed a day-old bratkartoffeln vendor, "the foul beast ran straight to our food fair tents and grabbed any fried junk-food he could stuff in his mouth. Igitt! That poor excuse for an animal grossed me out... I'm only going to fry tofu-flavored pretzels from now on, it's safer. What a hairy, smelly thief! "
|Was für eine schreckliche Bestie!|
IT CAME FROM THE LAKE! Hamburg invaded by rare Sasquatch intruder.