Movie Review: "Sasquatch Sunset" Gets ONE FINGER FLIP SALUTES from YETI not SETI Institute Members!
Dr. Karl Blinng and Mr. Divot Looney, members of the bored of directors for the YETI not SETI Institute, volunteered to pay good American Money to watch the exciting new Bigfoot film "Sasquatch Sunset" in a real move theatre. The unforgettable theatre experience was complete with navigating around sleeping drunks, stepping on old popcorn/gum mixtures stuck on the floor, and enduring a barrage of mediocre movie promotions before the big screening.
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| Unsuspecting researchers Looney and Blinng before subjecting themselves to the intense Sasquatch Nature Documentary "Sasquatch Sunset". |
Blinng gives "Sasquatch Sunset" a ONE FINGER SALUTE rating:
"There are no words to describe what I saw. I was driven to watch this ground-breaking crypto-movie out of curiosity. Morbid curiosity, as it turned out. I was driven by in the interests of pseudo-science, along with a strong feeling of jealously since we didn't think of this cinematic masterpiece first. I felt it my obligation to watch it and savor the experience."
"For me the most disgusting, ah, the most impressionable moment in the documentary came when the intrepid band of Sasquatches discovered a logging road, became upset, and proceeded to excrete every Bigfoot bodily fluid imaginable onto the road's surface. What a moment! I told Looney this film was a ground-breaking cryptozoological nature documentary. He had no clue what he was in for."
"This masterpiece will takes its rightful place alongside such great classics as 'Pink Flamingos', 'Attack of the Killer Tomatoes', and dare I say it... 'Plan 9 from Outer Space'. Of all the movies I've ever seen, this was one of them."
Looney awards a ONE FINGER FLIP SALUTE to "Sasquatch Sunset":
"Look, I was essentially kidnapped and brought to that movie theatre against my will. Blinng is insane and will stop at nothing to find evidence of bona fide Bigfoots, usually using me as Sasquatch-bait each and every time. But I trusted him on this score, he said this was a novel nature documentary. What an incredible movie! Sasquatch Sunset is the only movie that has made me cry recently... I could have used that $12 admission for so many other things, sniff."
"Never have I been so grateful that one can't smell a movie! In this case smelling the screenplay would have been a crime against humanity, let alone Bigfoot-ity."
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| In an incredible coincidence, a movie patron captured a photo of what appeared to be a Bigfoot sneaking into the showing of "Sasquatch Sunset" without paying. The theatre manager was philosophical about it: "Well, what else would you expect a crypto-beast like that to do? I mean, they don't carry around Louis Viton wallets or purses, do they?" |
Ricard Scheister Esquire, the Institute's 24-7 on-retainer legal counsel, bail bondsman and 'Mr. Fixit' expressed concern that the Institute wasn't offered any movie-credit, movie-input, and most importantly, movie-royalties regarding this nature documentary. "Say... why didn't WE get a fat cut in the profits? Or a nice percent of the box office sales, huh? Where's that damn fool lawyer of ours! Oh, wait a minute..."
