Saturday, July 10, 2010

Panama Jungle Bigfoot Spotted in Darién Gap!

Sasquatch Experts Buzzing - - Photo Reveals Jungle Bigfoot in Natural Habitat.


The Instituto Smythsonian de Investigaciones Ridículo Tropicales (STRRI) in Panama has released a stunning photo clearly showing an ape-like creature resembling Gigantopithecus Revoltus deep inside the Darién Province near the Colombian border.

"We caught the beast on camera using a slow-motion detector currently being used for a detailed study of the social habits of the rare Speckled Slimey Plantain Slug, Mocos Disgustus. Like I said, the camera is verrry sloooow motion,  the scientists involved were getting bored to tears. This Monkey-man sighting is a heck of a lot more exciting! Strange, but the slugs seemed to suffer greatly in their olfactory glands during the Sasquatch appearance, gaseous emissions from the animal may have been a factor.", said Jose Raman Boris Acibeeno, research director for the Institute.

The Darién Gap is a mysterious, remote, unknown, wild and vast region of mountains, swampland, rainforest and lost remote controls separating Panama from Colombia. Perfecto for a family vacation! "Finding a Bigfoot in this forbidding region is not surprising. We suspect there could be ferocious gerbils, dangerous dinosaurs, ancient alien artifacts, and savage exiled hedge-fund managers lurking in there. There was an alleged Sasquatch sighting in Darien in 1920, by a direct ancestor of that loco quack Dr. Blinng... intelligence does not seem to run too deep in that particular family tree, sabes?"

1 comment:

SambuHauseDarienJungle said...

Darien Bigfoot Account

A Spanish gold-hunting expedition in the seventeenth century reported that it had shot fourteen of them not far
from this same Pinas Bay.

The Indians from Equador to Nicaragua assert that the creatures inhabit isolated jungle-covered mountains, as
do the gorillas in Africa. Nothing will persuade an Indian to spend the night on such a peak.

When I returned to Washington and mentioned the matter to Dr. Hough of the Smithsonian, I did not get the
pitying smile I was expecting.

On the contrary he said he had been getting reports of this sort for twenty years and was inclined to believe there
was something in them.

Dr. Anthony of the New York Museum of Natural History has a story to tell of encountering a large unknown
animal near the summit of Mt. Tacarcuna on the Columbian border.

A Frenchman claims to have shot one in Equador.