Sunday, November 7, 2010

Bigfoot Horror in Holland! Belgians Blamed!

Belgian Bigfoot Stomps through the Netherlands - - Dutch are Dizzy!

Dutch security forces are scrambling to catch a marauding Belgian Bigfoot 'monster' terrifying local citizens in the deep south of the Netherlands. Rumors are flying that the Belgian beast somehow took a train from Brussels to the Schipol airport station and then points south, embarrassed officials are silent.
An eyewitness, Hagabraad Alderdinnk, was incensed... "Ja, Zeker! I saw the animal getting off the train at Schipol, it caused quite a ruckus you know, and rudely stole my whopper met kaas hamburger from my plate, ran it downstairs and escaped on de local train to Eindhoven. Ah, but that nasty thief picked a wrong day - - it was 'Snow Practice Day' for the train system. Ha ha ha! With that chaos the ape man never made it to Eindhoven, I am sure. And why have a stupid 'Snow Practice Day'* during our beautiful fall weather? All the trains in the Netherlands reroute for no good reason, everyone gets confused! De train official denies 'Snow Practice Day' was 'Bigfoot Alert' day, but I am not fooled!"

Sasquatch in Sittard - - Belgian Bigfoot Bashes Sunday Brunch in Idyllic Esloo!

Despite a national Bigfoot alert during 'Snow Practice Day', authorities missed the ape man completely, which turned up later that day in the little, formerly quaint, southern Dutch village of Esloo. "He bloody well scared off the tourists." said an Esloo innkeeper, "the place was a ghost town after that smelly beast waltzed through. Wat een smerige stinkende harige beest België!".
Bigfoot wandering down a main street of once tranquil Esloo. "I was shocked!" said a local resident. "I had no idea the government was allowing hairy Belgians into the village!".

Official Bigfoot News and Sasquatch Sightings Notice: 
In the spirit of European Union cooperation and friendship, this blog does support the theory that Belgians are Bigfoots, and Belgium is harboring a renegade band of anti-social Saquatches. It is a well known fact that the Belgium border in only 100 meters from Esloo, and you could throw a dirt clod across the canal from the Netherlands and hit a Belgium farmer on the head with it. Which is great fun. If you were so inclined. Not that anyone should do that.

*Snow Practice Day: In broad daylight under clear blue skies, the Netherlands National Train system pretends there is a blizzard and that the Ice Age has returned. Management and employees relish these days, as they enjoy seeing confused riders take unplanned  and adventurous tours through the Dutch countryside, running through multiple train stations like gerbils as they try to connect from point a to point b via points c, d, r and z.


KarlBlingPhD said...

The Dutch minds are addled by wearing too much orange. That looked like an ordinary Belgian to me. Now if we found yeti in Pismo Beach or Big sur, that would be newsworthy. I'll send Elmer and Joe Bob to investigate anyway. They said something about Amstel beer and comparing gouda to Velveeta.

Morimoto said...

So did anyone see the Gorn in Holland or Belgium?

Anonymous said...

Me Sasquatch: grote, sterke, stinkende en dom! Trots op