A seriously suspicous Sasquatch disrupted the afternoon commute for thousands of Paris train and metro riders today. French police are searching for the ape-beast, warning it may strike again. Commuters said the foul, malaromatic monster arrived in Paris on a Thalys express train from Brussels... "Oui, le sale homme singe sauvage, it leap-ed le train like a person crazee, it grab-bed nasty goûters de porc frit from un food shop and ran to the street! His odeur horrible caused 20... no, 40... no, 1,000 people to faint-ed! Of this, I see with my own eyes!"
|French Bigfoot disrupts Paris Trains.|
The French public transit worker's union, protesting against the French government's plans to raise the retirement age to 24 and a half years, used the BigFoot incident at Paris Nord station as an excuse to go on a snap strike... again. "To the barricades! Why not?", said a transit union representative, "Having to work until 24 and 1/2 is an outrage.... having to endure disgusting working conditions to our sanitary health from this Belgium monqueee Bigfoot is unacceptable. We strike today! You know for us, demonstrations and strikes are sort of like a national sport, Oui? But first, we have lunch, Non?"
|Au revoir, Sasquatch!|
The Paris Nord train station was left in chaos and mayhem. Having severely disrupted train and metro service to Paris, the mysterious Belgian Bigfoot ran down Boulevard Diderot heading towards the Bastille, chased by Parisian Gendarmes and an enraged mob of angry commuters armed with pitchforks and torches. "Off with its head!", shouted the crowd. "ahhhh... after delousing?" said one observer.
Brussels denies the Bigfoot which attacked Paris is from Belgium, claiming it is in fact Dutch. "J'accuse!" said the French Foreign Ministry's senior janitor, who answered our midnight investigatory phone call. "Theeees is a threat growing to European Union harmony. Do not lie, you dastardly Belgians! Look what this nasty ape monster did to the Netherlands! You must take responsibility and pay damages! Not in Euros please.... Yen is much better."