Swiss Sasquatch Sighted! Davos Denizens in Denial!

Davos Man in Panic at Bigfoot Sighting! Swiss Army Knife Reserve Called Out in Alert!

After a rare savage Sasquatch sighting, the Swiss government's national defense minister has declared a horrible, hairy, and helvitca situation exists in the small but infamous village of Davos, Switzerland. Local Graubünden Canton residents and excitable squeaky voiced Boomberg News commentators who are World Economic Forum groupies and wear bow-ties are absolutely agitated and aghast.

The Surprised  Diabolical "Davos Devil" Ape Man Caught on a very Surprised Security Camera.

"This is horrible!", said a local stone-faced resident in the middle of shoplifting a luxury handbag shop on the Talstrasse. "I've lived here my whole life. We like our country neat, clean, rich, and orderly, danke. I've never seen anything so revolting as that behaart creature sneaking around our perfect Swiss village. Our streets are cleaner than Disney World, ja? Then this bloody bothersome beast shows up and stinks the place up. Disgusting! This could hurt our chances of hosting the World Economic Forum in 2019. Hmmm, perhaps that's not a bad thing?"

Davos Bigfoot Downgrading Terrorized Swissy Train Station.

The Simian Swiss troubles did not stop at street level in Davos. No, the Sasquatch ransacked the train station looking for left-over pommes frittes in trash bins - - shocking travelers not only because he is a, well, an ape man, but also because the creature was clearly seeking out unhealthy food choices high in cholesterol.

The Sound of Music this Ain't.

Swiss nature lovers were not spared from the alpine Bigfoot's wrath. Even forced-march hikers in the mountains above Davos ran into the beast. Jassyka Blinng, a long-suffering, underpaid, and overworked intern at the YETI not SETI institute, was enjoying a grueling hike up to a nearby peak to see the spot where the famous Ricola commercial was filmed. To her astonishment the hairy beast had the same idea. "I can't seem to shake these stupid Bigfoots off! It's weird.", said Jassyka, "First New Zealand, then Antarctica, now Davos. I feel like a Bigfoot pawn in someone's silly juvenile middle-school prank!"

Kluless Schwwak, esteemed founder and executive chairman of an important annual talk-shop forum held every winter in Davos, sounded desperate. "Ja, OK I'm verzweifelt! This nasty ape man thing has really hurt our brand. Strong action must be taken. For this year only, we're dropping our annual Forum membership fees for corporations down from $1,000,000,000,000 to $999,000,000,000 and 98 cents, and individuals can rub their designer suit elbows with the rich, famous, and opinionated for only $99,000 and 99 cents a  year! We've included a free open bar for 10 minutes on day three, two drink tickets per delegate. Hurry, this great deal won't last, especially after we chase that Bigfoot bother back to bloody Belgium!"

This amazing Bigfoot Blog has been tracking bonafide Sasquatch sightings for years. There have been recorded incidents of Bigfoots marauding in Switzerland and the rest of Europe for some time.

While Belgians are strongly suspected, this cannot be confirmed:

Switzerland in Shock as Bigfoot Bothers Basel!

Bigfoot Horror in Holland! Belgians Blamed!

Paris Panics as BigFoot Trashes Train Station!

Berlin BigFoot Sightings! Brings Backpfeifengesicht to Terrified Locals!

BigFoot Scare at Little Mermaid Statue!

Bigfoot Sighting in Germany! Hamburg Hectic from Ape Man Attacks!

Spanish Sasquatch Sighting!

Bilbao BigFoot Attacked by Giant Martian Spider!

Bilbao BigFoot Binges on Modern Art at Guggenheim Museum!

BigFoot in Bilbao?!

Prague People Panic as BigFoot Sighted in City!

In the interests of geopolitical realities, we will not share the extensive news stories regarding Sasquatch sightings in the United Kingdom, as it is no longer part of Europe.