Sunday, February 20, 2011

Yosemite Yeti Disrupts Famous Landmark!

Bigfoot Beast Roams near Yosemite Falls... Park Rangers Reveal Top Secret!

A bus load of Yosemite Valley tourists, elite commando Ranger Rick Patrol park rangers, and junk-food scrounging black bears were terrified and amazed when a Bigfoot was spotted stomping through thick forest near Yosemite Falls. "It was evening, and getting close to the Falls closing time", said a park ranger, "I was gettin' ready to turn off Yosemite Falls for the evening... what, you didn't know? Heck it's easy.... I just turn this spigot off right here... see? We shut 'er down from sundown to sunrise... those dumb tourists never figure it out. Suddenly this white furred ape-beast loped right past me like it was out for a jog or something... that incredible odor! I'll never forget it, I nearly choked to death. The ape-man was followed by a cloud of flies a mile long. Anyway, I had enough strength left to turn off the falls and get back to Ranger HQ to recover, where we do important stuff like drink beer and play Mario Brothers."
Yosemite Yeti spotted near Half Dome by astounded camper.
Bigfoot expert and part-time minor-celebrity trial lawyer Ricard Scheister quickly announced an amazing connection between the Yosemite Yeti and Ansel Adams. "I have it on strong authority that Ansel Adams attempted to photograph suspected Bigfoots in Yosemite Valley, but his camera lens shattered. He gave up... it was costing him a small fortune and photos of waterfalls and big rocks sell for more anyway. Er, as a lawyer I must inform you that by giving you my considered opinion in this matter, this constitutes the minimum 30 minutes of my legal time... I'll send the bill in the mail."

Dr. Karl Blinng, Director of the financially creative YETI not SETI Institute, issued a press release regarding the Yosemite Yeti. "Holy Toledo! You mean they actually turn off Yosemite Falls at night? Who knew? I'll pay $3,000 for that spigot!"


Morimoto said...

I was at the Ahwahnee for the Chef's holidays and saw the beast. It tried to chase him and find out where the gorn is. Stupid monkee man wouldn't answer. Said something about looking for the gorn in North Carolina.

sharlottewoods said...

I love this and I do believe in hidden creatures, land and sea. wish I had been a crytozoologiist.

James Nichols said...

Park I don't believe would be calling the tourists stupid !

James Nichols said...

I don't believe the park ranger would be calling the tourists stupid, that's what made me not believe !

Anonymous said...

Wow, some really dumb comments on a really dumb article that makes a mockery of a legitimate topic. Idiots.