Winnemucca Wild With Weirdness From Bigfoot Sighting!

 Sasquatch Smashes Winnemucca Casino and Championship Horseshoe Tournament!

Wonderful Winnemucca is home to many amazing things. Such as... ahhhhh.... give us a minute! 

Oh yeah, Bigfoots!

Winnemucca residents and tourists were whipped-sawed when a wild Sasquatch strolled into town, looking for dumpster filled delicacies such as old french fries, mystery meat nuggets, and other choice fast food menu items. While conducting his curious culinary search, the beast disrupted normal activities across the width of Winnemucca's massive metropolitan area.

Hairy Bigfoot gambling with his life at a local Casino. 10-1 odds he escapes back into the hills again. 

One loyal patron playing the slots at a local Winnemucca Casino saw the fragrant beast dash into the diner, grab an armful of old spaghetti and soggy hotdogs from the kitchen garbage bin, and quickly bolt out again into the wild. "It was amazing! I actually stopped pulling the lever on my lucky slot machine, downed my scotch, and forgot to light another cigarette! I think that ape guy thought the place was called 'Wieners'. They can't read so good, you know."

It was 'Dead Shoe Time' when the beast crashed the International Winnemucca Horseshoe Pitching Championship. A player caught the beast with an incredible photo before passing out in shock - - shock and being hit on the head by an errant horseshoe.

In a historic sports disruption which will be forever recorded in the annals of professional Horseshoes, the Sasquatch decided to investigate the world famous Winnemucca Champions League Horseshoe Tournament while a highly competitive game was in progress. 

Tension was high. The Sunncity Pensioneers were about to tie and pass the reigning champions, the Medicare Marauders. Then Bigfoot barged in. Total Panic ensued! Complete Chaos commenced! The mass confusion came to an end only when one of the players, totally distracted by the mangy monster, accidently released his horseshoe high into the air. The crowd ran for the exits to avoid the impressively high but rapidly falling chunk of iron. A senior referee was hit on the head by it, but as he had a hard skull little damage was done. After things calmed down and everyone took their places again, it was discovered the mysterious Sasquatch had disappeared. But he managed to vanish along with all the Snack Bar's stale and wilting tuna fish sandwiches ready to sell to unsuspecting spectators. "That animal stole our fishy snack booth goodies and profits!", said an angry but haughty Horseshoe Hostess matron. 

Dr. Karl Blinng, Chairman-for-Life at the YETI NOT SETI Institute, was triple whammied by the beast's beastly appearance. "Good golly gosh. Here I was visiting Winnemucca for a wonderful research project and my plans were totally wrecked. I had glorious plans to research Winnemucca casino gambling odds by engaging in probability experiments at the Blackjack table. I had plans to research the nature of horseshoes, physics, and beer consumption. And I was looking forward to visiting the "The Ring Circle", the old red light district in town... for purely scientific endeavors, I can assure you!"

Perilous Panama Bigfoot Sighting at Avenida Balboa!

 Aromatically Formidable Sasquatch Ruins Sunday Outings for Local Panamanian Denizens! 

Sunday morning is usually the only time of the week when frazzled residents of Panama City, Panamá can enjoy strolling and riding bicycles on Avenida Balboa without risking certain death from a never ending procession of cars, taxis, buses and renegade raspao carts. But not this Sunday! Thanks to a rare Bigfoot sighting in the city, general panic erupted and the entire area was shutdown while the police looked for the hairy and very sweaty creature. "We couldn't find the beast, again." said a local traffic cop. "These creatures are wily and elusive. Entonces, that is our official excuse anyway."

The Bigfoot was spotted along the Cinta Costera by a terrified tourist. "I smelled it before I saw it, unfortunately."

A local caught a foto of the Bigfoot waving at people gaping at him in shock from the Marina. "These poor guys at the Marina were yelling and screaming and pointing at the beast. I think that dumb creature thought they were waving at him, so he waved back! Then he stole my raspao, the furry cad!"

To add insult to olfactory injury, the monster appeared to sniff his armpits "with satisfactin" when he spotted an underarm deodorant advertisement on Avenida Balboa. "That beast definitely doesn't use a deodorant!", exclaimed a traumatized local. Doctors say the poor victim's nose will recover in a few months.

Why has Sasquatch returned to Panama City? Speculation abounds, but it is thought by certain local university professors in Cryptozoology (a popular class with Freshman looking for an easy grade) that as restaurants reopen from the Covid lock-down, the smells of fried foods have attracted the beast to venture down from the hills surrounding the city. 

Erk Holohead, a delinquent member of the YETI NOT SETI Institute bored of directors, has a special theory regarding Sasquatch and Panamá. "Look. It all adds up. Like 2+2=7. This Sasquatch is incognito. The monster probably has warrants for his arrest all over the place for petty food theft, public health violations, and other amazing crimes back in the States. The FBI want to 'talk' to him. A lot of Gringos from the USA and Canada are moving to Boquete, which is also an attractive habitat for hairy ape-men. Some of these gringos may have seen this Bigfoot in North America and could ID him in an instant. That big Ape has gone to the big city to hide out until the coast is clear. Plus, it loves fried foods. Can't resist 'em."