BigFoot Sighting in YellowStone National Park!

 Astounding  Aromatic Assault on Yellowstone National Park by Malus Simia Ape Man!

Despite efforts by the Federal National Park System to squash this amazing 'squash news, our intrepid blog - a service to humanity - has uncovered numerous photos and eyewitness reports of Bigfoot sightings at Yellowstone National Park. Tourists be warned: dangers at the famous wilderness area already include being eaten by bears, torn apart by wolves, trampled by buffalo, nipped by coyotes, fleeced by admission fees, and soiled by scared feral gerbils. Add Sasquatches to the danger list. 

Feral Sasquatch Spotted in Yellowstone National Park! Lions and Tigers and Bigfoots! 

A day tourist to the park was incensed. "Seeing a real live bigfoot was a shocking experience. The Park Rangers were nowhere to be seen! The big hairy ape sort of wandered around looking for trash bins. It stole my bag of organic Hot & Painfully Spicy Cheeetoes when I wasn't looking, the cad!"

Bigfoot beastie spotted at Old Faithful. Tourists thought he was part of the 'show' until the aroma of his mangy hide wafted over the unfortunates trying to pet nearby buffaloes. Few escaped the stench or stampede.

Even a stuffed and very deceased wolf at the park museum expressed its disgust at being near the hygienically challenged ape-man. 

The Sasquatch darted into the park museum looking for fried food of any kind. 

A shocked curator managed to take this photo as the beast tippy-toed past a T-Rex skull. "That bigfoot was scared of the dinosaur's teeth, yes sir! He slunk past as silently as he could go. Then he stole my organic hot & painfully spicy doureetos bag, the thief!"

Dr. Karl Blinng, Director-for-Life of the renowned YETI not SETI Institute in liquified Yuba City, California, commented on the Yellowstone National Park sighting. "I was conducting a serious scientific probability experiment at a nearby Casino in the area when all this sasquatch stuff happened, gosh darn it to heck! That's OK, we're busy scouring the park for DNA and scat samples of the beast. So far we've only found evidence of gerbils and homo sapiens in the area, which is surprising. But we're getting close!"

Erk Holohead, a loyal member of the Institute's Bored of Directors, commented on the lack of Park Ranger control of Bigfoot forays in the national park. "You'd think that the park rangers would have controlled the Sasquatch infestation in short order, but no! An insider told me park management is obsessed with ridding the park of two infamous criminally inclined bears - a sly pick-pocketing bruin wearing a hat and going by the alias of 'Yogi', and a side-kick safe-cracking specialist nicknamed 'Boo-Boo'. They've been trying to cuff these guys for decades, with no success. They have no chance capturing a bigfoot!"