More Crazy California Sasquatch Sightings! Big Sur and Bay Area Hit!

Big Sur Institute infiltrated by Seeker Sasquatch? Tilden Park scene of yet another vicious Bigfoot Attack? 

The Central Coast region of cattywampus California has witnessed once again more alarming Sasquatch sightings. In response, the Governor issued a short statement on the matter. “Ahhh... I'm like you, I'm no better than you, I'm a 960 SAT guy... I cannot, you've never seen me read a sasquatch speech. I made bad decisions regarding Bigfoot sightings. That being said - the question is, does the public care about that?". 

The Michelin-Starred Restaurant Frenchie Laundry also issued a no-comment in sympathy regarding Sasquatch alarms, as a political damage control precaution. "We are, of course, open for luxury dining... if you can afford the price.", sniffed a resident restaurant sommelier.

Birthplace of the Human Potential Movement visited by sneaky Sasquatch?

A seriously lost traveller, driving south on the rugged central coastal region of the Pacific Coast Highway trying to find Carmel, spotted an elusive Bigfoot loitering around the entrance to The Institute. "That ape-guy was gazing at the sign, but it couldn't read. Then it sniffed the air and detected organic foods nearby. That did it! He dived into the bushes at the front gate and quickly disappeared. I managed to get one photo. Eh, I finally found Carmel... but had to turn-around at San Simeon and head back north. I have trouble with GPS."

 

Mysterious reports of missing vegetarian meals and spiritual wellness teas prompted management to investigate. Evidence of Bigfoot activity was found, including some aromatic evidence which had to be bagged and incinerated. After the alleged Sasquatch visit, rumors are flying that The Institute may change their mission statement to "Birthplace of the Hominid Potential Movement". 

Tilden Park Bigfoot Attack! "You! Not Again! J'Accuse!"

Serial Bigfoot Victim Divot Looney was attacked yet again by a maurading Sasquatch, this time at Tilden Park while on a crypto-nature hike. "I recognized the dasterdly brute. But the park rangers don't care. I just don't understand it! I take all proper simian protection precautions. I spray very expensive and very nasty anti-bigfoot spray on me from head-to-toe. I shower every day and use anti-bigfoot deodorant and soap, which I was promised repels nasty Sasquatches. But nothing worked! It's all garbage! I paid Dr. Blinng a lot of money for that stuff. I'm beginning to suspect he's a quack?" 

Divot Looney was able to take one shaky photo of the aggressive Bigfoot before passing out from the intense fumes emitted by the beast and from the 'scent-free' anti-bigfoot products he was wearing. Doctors say his sense of smell should return in about 18 months, if he's lucky. 

Ricard Scheister, Legal Counsel and a Member of the Bored of Directors for the YETI NOT SETI INSTITUTE located in seaside Yuba City California was on paid retainer and was thus able to comment. "I'll make this quick, my legal time is charged by the second. It appears to me the Bigfoot who snuck into The Institute was a Hominid, but not a Homo-Sapian, and is therefore exempt from any damage it may have incurred during it's incursion. I'm ready to represent the Sasquatch and defend his innate right to... wait, what's that you say? Bigfoots are stone-cold-broke and have zero assets? So it can't pay me? Well, that changes things! I will contact The Institute and offer my legal services to sue for damages from wanton and scurrilous behavior from that malicious Sasquatch. I'll charge by the minute, I'm a reasonable man!"

Dr. Karl Blinng, President-for-life of the YETI NOT SETI INSTITUTE, was in denial. "I deny Looney's claims he was sold fake anti-bigfoot products! Just because they've never been patented, tested in a lab, tested in the field, or certified by the FDA doesn't mean they don't work! I'll professionally inform Looney to just use more of these custom products. I'll even knock down the prices 2%... I'm not a crook. I'd share the formulas, but that might get our intrepid local county sanitation and hygiene departments overly excited. I mix 'em up in my bathtub, wearing a gas mask."

Bigfoot Quockerwodger Alarms Quebec Province! Canada Convulsive!

Sasquatch Ape Wreaks Havoc in Montreal and Quebec City! No One Notices!

Ah Quebec... the home of Poutine, perennial Franco-secession, real maple syrup, and collapsing freeway overpasses. Yes, Quebec has a charm and beauty all its own... while the rest of Canada says "you can keep it!". But Nature has other plans! Migrating Sasquatches have been spotted in Montreal and Quebec City... and they are moving east in search of rancid poutine. There are intense fears these hairy beasts will eventually arrive in New Foundland, where they will pick up the strange and incomprehensable ways of Newfie communication. "An unnatural combination of Quebec French and Newfie English will be a diabolical disaster!", declared a serial linguist academic languishing in Ottawa. 

Bigfoot Crashes Grand Prix Cycliste de Québec! 

Major cycling road races are infamous for idiotic fans crossing the road in front of charging pelotons, team chaser cars, and determined old ladies with racing walkers. But a Bigfoot crossing the road at the wrong time is a first! The Peloton crashed in a mighty pile just yards from where the nasty beast darted in front of them. "The shock of seeing that furball, the stench, and the swarm of flies following IT was too much! We lost all control in the front, and the entire group went down. A few riders decided to retire from the sport on-the-spot and left their machines smashed and stinking on the road... contaminated by disgusting mangy mats of Bigfoot hair, thousands of fly droppings, hair lice everywhere, you name it! They don't pay us team riders enought for hazard pay!" 

 

T-Rex Versus Sasquatch! 

Nasty Jurassic Park Attack Scene in Montreal goes amock. The terrified Bigfoot reportedly barely escaped the attacking apex predator. The beast sought solace in yet more rancid poutine hiding in nearby trash bins. What is going on with "Quebec Man" and another hungry T-Rex behind the Bigfoot is open to conjecture. 

 

Bigfoot spotted in Quebec City! 

Château Frontenac escaped potential damage from the Sasquatch sneaking into the building, fortunately. The Fontaine de la Place d'Armes faired badly, as the Bigfoot both drank from the fountain and then proceeded to take a bath in it. City Sanitation workers say it will be months before the fountain is decontaminated. 

Bigfoot and Pandas in Montreal Botanical Gardens! 

An perplexed Uber-Panda tourist caught a photo of a Sasquatch serenely strolling through the gardens. "That Bigfoot was very courteous. It stopped to gaze at the Panda sculptures. It then sniffed and looked at my bag... and proceeded to grab all my organic-pestcatarian-fried-fish-jerky-snacks and scampered off! Sure IT was a smelly thief, but IT was a nice smelly thief!"  

Dr. Karl Blinng, President-for-Life of the illustrious Yeti Not Seti Institute, located in Francophone Yuba City, California, had something to say. "I have something to say! Pay attention you numbskulls! The recent Quebec Sasquatch sightings incident is amazing. I was very lucky to be there at the time, researching suspected ancient fossilized Bigfoot coprolites found on display at a dive Montreal Bar. The bar owner only wanted $3,000 American dollars for these precious samples! Of course, I paid him and took these precious poops back to the Institute for analysis. Some naysayers mock me and claim I was a dupe and paid good money for freeze dried (big) dog feces. They are fools. Fools, I tell you! You'll see!"

Montreal and Bigfoot. Institute Discovers Amazing NEWS!

Major Historical Discovery and Art Mystery in Montreal! See the Yeti Not Seti Institute Homepage for MORE!

Dr. Karl Blinng, President-for-Life of the Yeti Not Seti Institute, is most pleased! 

Montreal Bigfoot Expedition Discoveries!

https://yeti-not-seti-institute.blogspot.com/2026/10/montreal-bigfoot-expedition-discovers.html 

Montreal Mystery Deepens. City goes APE over Monkey Statue! Locals Mystified! 

Slinky Sasquatch Spotted at Glacier National Park! Montana Mortified!

Rare video and still shots of Bigfoot Locomoting around in Montainous Montana!

In a world exclusive, this newsworthy blog has obtained precious video and still photography of a bonafide Bigfoot in the wilds of Glacier National Park in Montana. "We're absolutely amazed!", exclaimed Erk Holohead, a member of the YETI not SETI Institute. "This may rival and exceed the famous Patterson–Gimlin film from 1967! We are also a bit petty and jealous that no one from the Institute caught these photos and video first. President Blinng is most unpleased."

These amazing photos and video shots were obtained by Dr. Lulu Lomaxx and Kelvin Kmess, who were on an expedition to the wild unknowns of Montana to find the elusive Bigfoot. As luck would have it, a hairy Sasquatch crossed their paths soon after their arrival into Big Sky Country! 

Dr. Lulu Lomaxx quickly took a camera shot of the running beast as it darted across the park trail. "Of course, the photo came out fuzzy and blurry. I understand that is pretty much the accepted industry standard for these sorts of ape-man cryptozoological sightings.", she sniffed. 

 Snappy Sasquatch Video:

The visual jewel in the crown was a short but shaky video taken by Kelvin Kmess, or "KK", as he is called by members of the international Sasquatch research community. "I was very fortunate to have my video camera ready to go when that amazing Bigfoot ran across our trail. Of course, the video came out fuzzy and blurry. No doubt this is the accepted standard for Bigfoot video quality.", he opined. 

Erk Holohead was beside himself. "I'm next to myself with excitement! I must pull my sides back together. These photos and videos are some of the best (worst?) we've ever encountered at the Institute. OK, that's not saying much but still... amazing stuff. Dr. Lulu Lomaxx and Kelvin Kmess are the guilty parties... er... couragous content contributors." 

"We sniff financial gain in all this. All we have to do is trick Kmess and Lomaxx into signing our sneaky copyright surrender agreement, see? Drafted by our shady lawyer Ricard Scheister, see? They'll get a few Balboas, and we'll laugh all the way to the bank with millions. Millions I tell ya! Errr, I don't think Kmess and Lomaxx read these blogs, so we should be OK with our plan. If that don't work, we'll bribe them with meaningless seats on our Bored of Directors, suckers." 

Gotland Gobsmacked by Viking Bigfoot Sighting!

Visby Visibly Shocked! Are Swedes a Bunch of ABBA Sasquatch Sissies?!

The ancient, historic, not hysteric, and chill town of Visby, located on the Swedish island of Gotland, was transformed into pure primate panic when rumours spread about a North American Sasquatch infiltrating the area. "Yeah sure, we've received numerous irate reports from worried locals and testy tourists about a sneaky ape-man running about the area. Not only is the monkey-man scaring people and small dogs, but it's also turning over trash bins looking for old Stekt Strömming - leftover fried herring to you - and other nasties.", said a spokesman for the Visby Police Authority. 

Baltic Bigfoot caught loitering outside the Town's Defensive Walls! Is THIS the real reason fortress walls were built in Visby in the first place, centuries ago?

The hairy beast caught reconnoitering Visby's perimeter for some devilish purpose. "That Bigfoot wasn't a spy. He wasn't a Russian or French. But he was obnoxious just the same!", exclaimed a local tourist guide. 

The true intentions of the Bigfoot - pillaging and looting - became apparent when a Swedish Police Officer spotted the lurking Sasquatch hiding in bushes and wearing a Viking Helmut. "It's always a bad sign when outsiders come in wearing Cosplay Viking Helmuts", exclaimed a local professor of crypto-history, "They pick-pocket when they can, sell overly sugary candies to unsuspecting customers, and never pay their parking tickets!". 

The Visby Police deployed their C-9 Unit in search of the evasive Bigfoot. The Police Cat is a Maine Coon, which is the largest housecat in the world. "The K-9 Units were all spooked by the smell of the Sasquatch. They refused to search for the beast! To be honest, we are all spooked. The Police Cat didn't mind, of course. It ate all the old fried herring left scattered by the ape-man. A nice day for the cat!"

Erk Holohead, a member of the YETI not SETI Institute located in nordic-like Yuba City California, was impressed by the Sasquatch sighting in Gotland. "This is becoming too much of a coincidence. I was yet again in the same area as the Bigfoot beast. I'm getting a little concerned! How does the ape-man get around? How did it wind up on this exotic and strategic island in the Baltic Sea? Is it a Putin Spy? Or a deranged ABBA fan? Worse, a lost Finn? The world demands answers!"

ROBERTS REDWOOD PARK in RACK and RUIN! BIGFOOT BLAMED!

Suspicious Sasquatch Activity at Roberts Redwood Park! Bigfoot Attack! Mounds of Unauthorized Organic Fertilizer!

Roberts Regional Recreation Area was the scene of scurrilous Sasquatch savagery last week. Park officials are keeping very quiet. A massive simian cover-up is suspected!

A Precious Trees Habitat Enhancement Project has been put on hold following the discovery of a massive odorous animal scat from an unknown beast. "The entire area is badly contaminated! While we can't say what sort of critter actually left this digusting souvenir, we do know it suffured from severe digestion issues and loved old rancid fried foods, walked on two legs, and was extremely hairy from tip-to-toe. But we're flummoxed.", sighed a Park Ranger who was suiting up for the massive detox project, "This beast leaves dung piles bigger than any St. Bernard I ever knew!"  

Brave but gullible Divot Looney, a member of the bored of directors with the Yeti not Seti Institute, was conducting a scientific exploration of the park for signs of Sasquatches. He was attacked yet again! After being released from the emergency room, he asked why Dr. Karl Blinng, who lead the expedition, didn't attempt to save him from the beastly attack. Blinng cackled and said "I'm dumb BUT I'm not stupid! Better that Bigfoot attack Divot than me. Besides, I was taking pictures for my rabid social-media followers. Great Sasquatch content, especially when that ape-man almost tore Looney's head off! That was pretty funny."

Blinng made an amazing shot of the beast as it sauntered off after the attack on Looney. "This is a million dollar photo! I can sell this the National Prober for a lot of mullah! It was worth Looney almost losing his head."

Erk Holohead released a Yeti not Seti Institute propaganda, er, press release: "Billions of readers of this informative news blog are asking if Looney has recovered from his Bigfoot attack and is OK? Well, at least a few people are asking, mostly bill collectors. We're happy to announce that Looney has completely recovered from his horrendous ordeal and received a few hundred Venezuelan Bolivares in compensation from the Institute. Like we said, he's rather gullible." 

Sasquatch Hubbub in Helsinki! Sasquatch-kaaos Suomessa!

Poor Porvoo! Harrassed Helsinki! Sibileius "Momument" Mystery! Bigfoots!

Did we say Bigfoots in Finland?

Finland has been the scene of recent wild Bigfoot sightings and big 'adventures', which has inadvertently triggered deep-rooted controversy over fiendish Finnish modern-art monuments. A North American Sasquatch is to blame. "Typical American Tourist.", sniffed a trendy Kotikalja-sipping Suomi unemployed social-media sophisticate, coiffed with glow-in-the-dark purple hair and armored with numerous metallic facial piercings. 

Sasquatch spotted at Helsinki's Senate Square! Startled locals and tourists quickly fled the area, often getting lost or on the wrong bus in their eagerness to escape the wafts of furry fetidness permeating the area. 

Pretty Porvoo did not escape the hairy beast's presence. Spotted along the Porvoonjoki by amazed locals and alarmed fabulously furry dogs, the beast skulked along the riverbank and ate ancient rock-hard licorice. "Licorice is not amber, although they are similar in texture.", proclaimed a local licorice peddler.

Fierce Finnish defenses at Porvoo were useless against the beast. "Look, we sell the world's best black licorice and chocolates to tourists in our little town. We let Helsinki do all the heavy defense work. We aren't prepared to fight smelly Crypto-Creatures. Voi herranjumala, did that ape-man leave a mess!" said a stunned city sanitation employee. A anti-crypto-creature army spokesman did appreciate the "Bigfoot was Here" graffiti joke left on an antique artillery piece by the hairy one; "Kappas, we thought it was our demented puny Russian neighbor Pieni-Putin... it was!" 

The mid-century abstract 'modern art' monument dedicated to the composer Sibelius is at once considered remarkable, ugly, striking, silly, serious, goofy, memorable, controversial, and is generally agreed to be a massive waste of taxpayer Euros. As a consequence, the metal slag is beloved by much of Helsinki's culture vultures. A mysterious graffiti tag was coincidently discovered after the recent Sasquatch invasion, which only adds to the monument's reputation. "Well, the hairy beast wrote, 'What the Heck is THIS?' across the sculpture. We kind of like the vandal touch; it adds artful color and character." pontificated an effete Arts and Culture journalist no one actually reads.  

Erk Holohead, a member of the YETI NOT SETI bored of directors, was peculiarly in Finland during the Sasquatch sightings. "It is truly a nordic mystery as to how this adventurous North American Bigfoot made it over to the Baltic countries. The real danger, of course, is that this furry beast might make itself at home in the endless fir-tree forests of the north in Finland and go native. What would the beast eat? Are fermented wild berries, magical mystery mushrooms, raw moose steak, disjointed deer joints, and old rancid deep-fried lihapiirakka stuffed into trash bins enough Sasquatch sustenance for these dense monkey-men to live on?" 

More Summer Sasquatch Roadtrip Sightings!

Road Trippin' Bigfoots Gone Wild in the Summer of 2026! Texas and California Hit Again!

More disturbing reports of Bigfoot Sightings during preposterous summer road-trips have surfaced yet again in Texas and California. Why? For what purpose? Leave us alone already!

Luling Texas Loco After Bigfoot Spotted at Buckeees!

The small town of Luling Texas is famous for the famous Luling Watermelon Thump... and having the largest convenience store in the world. Weary travelers searching for gasoline, clean restrooms, and lots of stuff they never knew they needed stop in droves at the even more famous Buckeees off I-10... and were furiously flabbergasted to meet a skulking Sasquatch face-to-face!  

Bigfoot and Buckeee, best pals forever. Witnesses said the odorous monkey-beast tried to talk turkey with the stoic beaver. "He isn't too bright", said a store manager. 

Shocking staff and customers alike, the Sasquatch pondered the World Famous Jerky Wall for some time before grabbing an armload of the stuff and running out of the store, towards Woman Hollering Creek. "He liked the World Famous Jalapeño Jerkys... he cleaned us out!", lamented the store's World Famous Jerky Specialist. 

The Bigfoot thankfully avoided using the ultra-pristine sparkly-clean NASA approved restrooms. Erk Holohead was amazingly coincidentally there during the Bigfoot Attack. "He preferred to do his business in a pasture behind the large Buckeees Barbecue Sauce Tank out back. The alarmed cows were not amused. I feel sorry for the cows. I feel sorry for the water table! Jalapeños in large quantities is a recipe for a disaster. Call the Governor!"

Good Hike Nearly Spoiled by Sasquatch Sighting in San Ramon!

A Sasquatch crossed paths with a gang of Hikers in the hills near San Ramon California. The incident raises multiple questions of how hikers can protect themselves from amorous Bigfoots.

 

The lost hikers fully expected the Bigfoot to attack or at least throw fecal matter in their direction, but it strangely and semi-sedately crossed the human's path and utterly ignored them. "I don't know whether to feel relieved or snubbed!", said one mystified rambler.

Divot Looney was a member of the ambitious San Ramon hiking expedition, and feels rather lucky. "For once I wasn't attacked by a Bigfoot. It must be my new defensive strategy... I use soap now, and I carry a bar of soap with me when in dangerous Sasquatch Country... soap to a Bigfoot is like garlic to a vampire. I read that somewhere..."

 

Dr. Karl Blinng warned Divot not to get complacent. "You better be prepared, fool! Next time also use a deodorant! Ahhh, your fellow humans will also appreciate this small gesture of civilized personal hygiene." Erk Holohead also offered unsolicited advice. Why not? "Whatever you do, don't use scented deodorants near Bigfoots. Some of those underarm scents act as extremely powerful aphrodisiacs to Sasquatches of both sexes. I'm still experiencing PTSD over an unfortunate incident years ago!"

Bigfoot Caught Lurking at Russian Gulch California!

Kikki Dumpster, an avant-garde photographer from trendy Sacramento experimenting with artistic yet moody-fern-school-black-and-white photography accidentally caught a Sasquatch sneaking around in the background. "I was very proud of my fabulous fern shot, but that big ape-man spoiled it. I'm sick of nature, I'm going back to taking photos of Soup Cans!"   

A rival green-fern-school photographer (they are fiercely competitive) also reported a one-in-a million fern-photo opportunity bombed to smithereens by a nasty Bigfoot. "I was in Russian Gulch State Park, trying to beat my evil career nemisis Ms. Dumpster to an irreplaceable artistic-fern-photo-shoot location, when that THING came bounding through and spoiled my shots and trampled the priceless ferns. It was horrendous! I guess I'll have to go back to photographing dog portraits again, curse that hairy beast!"

Norway Numb from Bigfoot Sightings! Norge nummen etter Big Foot Observation!

Sneaky Sasquatch in Oslo! Norwegians Really Worked Up This Time!

Like a bad dream, Bigfoot sightings popped up all over Oslo, Norway last month. Oslo city police politely request normally stoic city dwellers to remain calm, comatose, and semi-alert for future fur-fetish dangers. Panic at home if you must!

Startled tourists saw what looked like a North American Bigfoot or an Inflatable Advertising Sasquatch Blimp perched on top of the world famous Holmenkollbakken Ski Jump above Oslo. Holmenkollbakken means "Who would be crazy enough to try this?" in Norwegian. Speculation is rampant that only a Bigfoot could have conceived of this sport?

Sasquatch sightings reached the center of Oslo, near the National Theater. "Even the pigeons where afraid!", commented a very steamed-off coffee vendor nearby. "Bad for business. Some small yappy dogs put up a ferocious defense near the trash bins, frustrating the big ape's nasty plans to scavenge for old lutefisk".  

Sightseeing Sasquatch skulking near the Norway Parliament Building! Parliament closed! No one noticed! "It took a while to determine if he was a member of Parliament or a stinkende villape, but when he used the plaza to relieve an urgent call of nature we knew immediately... he was with the Green Party." 

At the Frammmm Ship Museum, there is a remarkable model of the Frammmm solidly stuck in Arctic Ice for three years - - as a what-could-go-wrong nautical exploration experiment. Overlooked by modern museum experts, a Sasquatch is clearly depicted as part of the crew! "This entire expedition was incredible! Deliberately allowing the Arctic Ice to freeze the ship and allow it travel in ice flows for 3 years? Insane. No wonder a Bigfoot volunteered for duty! Why isn't this remarkable history more commonly known... other than causing widespread panic? Why?" 

Were Bigfoots Vikings? Were Vikings Bigfoots? Or at least cosplay Wagnerian Opera Fans? Ancient Alien Theorists are convinced there is compelling evidence for unpleasant Sasquatch and Viking interactions one thousand years ago. "Meeting scraggy Sasquatches, not savage Skraelings, may been the REAL reason those Lief Erikson Vikings would rather chill in Iceland and freeze in icy Greenland than make a permanent home in Vinland and live in Miami Beach Condos during the winter.", pontificated one very unusually coiffed ancient alien cable-tv expert.

Erk Holohead, a bored member of the YETI NOT SETI Institute in fjord friendly Yuba City, California, was amazed. "I'm in a knotted Nordic mental maze. I am totally 'mazed! Jeg er helt forbløffet! Bigfoots, Vikings, Ski Jumps, Lutefisk, Wagner, bar soap... the pernicious possibilities from Norseman Sasquatch interactions over the centuries are astounding! Norway has a lot to answer for! After this World Cup is over, that is. In the meantime, forget about it."

Bigfoot Sightings in Oklahoma, Texas, and California! 2026 Sasquatch Summer Madness Begins!

"On the Road Again." near fatal mistake for 2026 Summer Travelers: Sasquatch Sightings spoil a good drive!

Multiple reports have flooded the Yeti Not Seti institute from worrisome road-trip encounters with Bigfoots. "We appreciate these vastly important bits of Bigfoot news.", pleaded Erk Holohead, an Institute bored of director, "But stop being cheapskates and put real, not xeroxed, stamps on your letters? We're tired of paying for your postage!" 

Catoosa Oklahoma left Caterwauling from Bigfoot Adventure! 

The famous Blue Whale Roadside attraction in Catoosa was sullied by a random Bigfoot sighting. "I was totally surprised, yet somehow weirdly serene, when suddenly a big smelly Bigfoot photo-bombed my photo of the famous cerulean Sirene in Catoosa.", masticated Ricard Scheister, an also member of the Instituted. Scheister is a retired lawyer who has been institutionalized multiple times for assorted legal issues, though he always manages to get out and evade charges.   

Sasquatch, Catoosa Blue Whale, Bologna, Adrian, Middle Point of Somewhere Cafe, Cadillac Ranch. A road trip to remember! Countless hours of  new-age therapy will help, a bit. 

"Speaking of mastication, I had a wonderful culinary novelty whilst driving 80 MPH (I kept getting passed, but I like the left lane!) on I-40 towards Amarillo and the Cadillac Ranch. We were ordered by a 'friend' of mine to try out a famous fried-bologna sandwich lathered in peanut butter at the famous Middle Point of Somewhere Cafe in Adrian, Texas. It was very healthy and interesting! I'm going to open an artisanal sandwich shop when I get home and this amazing item will be get top billing! No Bigfoots spotted. If they ever found out about this sandwich, Adrian Texas is in trouble.", continued Scheister. 

Northern California Hit with Multiple Bigfoot Sightings!

California Fish & Game officials are casually investigating a mysterious empty fishing boat on the Sacramento River. Sasquatches are to blame. A crime scene is suspected. "We blame Bigfoots. We always blame Bigfoots.", confided a slightly overweight fishy games officer. "The fishing boat was beached along the riverbank. The fisherman have completely disappeared. We found Bigfoot tracks all over the place. No fingerprints. All the smelly bait and fried snacks were missing. We fear the worst! That is to say we may have to work this weekend on the case, which really stinks because I was going Speckled Snipe Hunting on Saturday." 

Missing Fly Fisherman, Empty Boat, Sasquatch Sighting. Connected?

 Wine Country Hike Marred by Sasquatch Attack! Vinologists almost Vindicated!

In a completely separate but somehow curiously related incident, several bargain-basement jug wine makers were ambushed while hiking through brushy hills in California wine country, while looking for lost grapes. "It's not like we were desperately poaching other people's vineyards for higher quality grape cuttings." sniffed Crass FFFFleps, vinologist at Dollar-a-Gallon-Rotgut Wines LLC, "Well, we were poaching, but so what? It's standard business practice around here. But that Sasquatch attack really messed up our vine cutting liberation plans. The nasty beast had a stench like you wouldn't believe! The beast's appearance had a mangy looking color and clarity. Its wild aroma was beyond words, and the hairy notes are unmentionable. If this Sasquatch was a wine, the palate taste would hint at earthy, I mean really earthy, flavors. Best not to talk about texture and mouthfeel. The finish? Well, if these qualities were ever but into a wine bottle, you wouldn't want to finish it! You'd want to call 911!". 

Bigfoot plus Wine Country equals Vinegar.

Grape Cuttings Poaching Expedition Thwarted! Sasquatch ruins planned raids. 

Dr. Karl Blinng, President-for-Life of the YETI NOT SETI Institute located in Wino Friendly Yuba City, California, was feeling exuberant. "I'm inebriated! I mean exuberated! At last we have verified sightings of Sasquatches in Oklahoma and in Northern California Wine Country! As a pestatarian, I eat sea-life but no mammalian red meat... but an undercover 'research' to trip to Catoosa will allow me to savor a mouth-watering Oklahoma filet 14 ounce Filet Mignon steak, medium well, and no one I know will be the wiser for it. As far as wine country goes, I have a tipsy top secret plan. If I can bottle the unique flavors, notes, and essences of bigfoots and put them into a wine bottle with a screw-cap, I could make a fortune! Gotta work on that pesky wine texture and mouth-feel a bit. I can also make sparkling wine as a mass-market spin-off product. Great for bad BBQs. Ha! Who needs the FDA, anyway!"