Bigfoot Sighted at Henry Coe State Park!

Hikers Aghast as Sasquatch Crosses Trail at Henry Coe State Park! Joggers not bothered!

Boy Scout Tenderfoots on a Bataan Death March, Crunchy Granola Hikers, Fanatical Ultra-Marathoners, Trendy Designer Joggers and Seriously Lost Tourists were all astounded to see a real-life Bigfoot scamper across their paths at Henry Coe State Park this weekend. "I was at the park to hunt for rare quartz deposits. Instead I found rare and disgusting fresh Sasquatch deposits!", sighed a disappointed prospector. 

Fleeting glimpse of the Sasquatch. The beast headed towards higher ground.

Dr. Karl Blinng, Director-For-Life of the YETI NOT SETI Institute for Cryptology and anything else which can make a quick buck-or-two without too much work, was unfazed. "I'm not phased! I'm phased-out but not phased! This sighting is concrete proof that Bigfoots roam the Santa Clara Valley and the surrounding mountains. Steve Joobs was likely a Bigfoot. Steve Wozzzniak is definitely a Bigfoot, in my expert opinion. Space Alien, er, Mark Snickerberrrgh was a Bigfoot. Heck, all my opinions are expert, just ask me! I'll pay $3,000 in US Dollars cash for any fresh Bigfoot deposits. Don't try to fool me, I know what bear poop looks like, OK!?"

Erk Holohead, a founding member of the bored of directors and in charge of various get-rich-quick schemes for the Institute, was confusingly indifferent about the recent sighting. "This Sasquatch spotting was remarkable, in an indifferent sort of way? Henry Coe State Park is nothing but trauma and torture. I remember my first Tenderfoot brat Boy Scout back-packing trip was in this accursed park. I learned about schlepping heavy back-packs, what a 6-mile mountain hike with a 50 pound backpack really felt like, nasty foot blisters, questionable chlorine-pellet potable water, gourmet but crunchy freeze-dried meatballs-and-pasta, "Swiss Piss", fire-baked but severely under-cooked potatoes, epic capture-the-flag-wars, and heroically futile snipe-hunts. During that ordeal I never once saw a Sasquatch! What I did see were mirages and hallucinations of juicy cheese-burgers with aromatic french-fries & catsup, but never once saw a Bigfoot. If we'd have seen a Bigfoot he would have been barbecued instantly."

YETI NOT SETI Launches Conspiracy Protection Research Project!

Foiled Again! Brave YETI NOT SETI Institute Bored Members participate in Risky Brain-Wave Monitoring Blockage Project!

Fortified with shots of cheap cognac and bargain basement rum during an annual meeting in wary Yuba City, California, the YETI NOT SETI Bored of Directors decided by acclamation to launch an exciting research project to determine if Tin-foil Helmets protect humans from top secret government and space-alien brainwave monitoring spy projects. It is hoped that amongst the many special things learned during the experiment, this knowledge will also protect wearers from hi-tech bodily-insertion-probes of all kinds. 

This amazingly simple idea was sparked after Ricard Scheister discovered ancient make-your-own-conspiracies kits at an Area 51 garage sale and eagerly shared them with the team. "This is the research tool we needed!", exclaimed Scheister, "If the NSA and the King of Spain are reading our brainwaves, we hope these helmets will stop them. Then maybe we'll finally find some Bigfoot DNA and other precious bodily fluids!"  

Erk Holohead in protective tin-foil head-gear, holding the Institute's precious build-a-conspiracy theory toolkit. "After using this research kit a few times, I now always wear my tin-foil hat." whispered Erk, "Just in case 'THEY' are listening. 'THEY' are. Shhhh!"

Ricard Scheister, AKA "The Invisible Man", showcasing his patented full head protective foil-helmet. "This new model works great! While I tend to bump into things and scare small children and pesky dogs,  it's a small price to pay to protect my brain-waves from 'THEM'!"

Kikki Durham exhibits multiple paranoia regarding amazing but true conspiracies. "Yep, I've got them all: Bigfoots, Chemtrails, Targeted EMP Attacks from Power Lines... and Toaster Oven behaviour in general. Don't Laugh! You'll see! You'll see when the AI apocalypse arrives and YOUR toaster oven comes after you! Fools!"

Not only is Divot Looney a Sasquatch risk taker, he exhibits little common sense in other key areas related to personal safety. "I intentionally built my tin-foil hat with a heightened hi-gain antennae, to better monitor attempts from 'THEM' to turn my brain to mush." It's working. My brain is feeling quite mushy now!

Institute Director-For-Life, Karl Blinng, is ready for anything. "It is nice to know the FBI, CIA, KGB, MI6, NASA, and many other organizations can no longer monitor what I'm thinking. The tin-foil hat is working so well I can longer hear myself think. I hear other voices instead!"

Brucillus Hail sports an innovative Foil Hat as a secondary level experiment. "Lab Safety is for Whimps! Not only is this innovative tin-foil hat better at stopping unwanted brain-wave monitoring from 'THEM', it acts as a unique sun and rain protection device. I think I'll call it a "HAT". Wait... who put that thought in my brain?!

Token Female Added to the Institute's Bored of Directors!

Woman admitted to the YETI NOT SETI Institute's Bored of Directors! 

In major news today, the Institute's Board of Directors has voted 27 to 15 to allow the illustrious Ms. Kikki Dumpster to join the Board. Once her check clears. Kikki is the first Female in the history of the Institution to be a voting member of the Bored. 

Learn more at: https://yeti-not-seti-institute.blogspot.com/2026/02/news-female-joins-yeti-not-seti.html 

Ms. Dumpster's joyful reaction upon learning she has been nominated and accepted to the Institute's Bored of Directors. 

 

Foggy Bigfoot NOIR Crime Wave in NoCal!

Hairy Bigfoot Gang Marauding in Northern California! Police "Powerless"! Batman "Missing"! Something's "Fishy"?

In what looks to be a shaky but coordinated crime spree, a nasty gang of unhygienic Sasquatches has been stealing frozen cod liver oil and freshly rancid fish from hotels, marinas, and terrified fisherman. "These apish criminals are mere amateurs in the annals of crime.", stated a famous private detective based in San Francisco, "But what they lack in intelligence they make up for in moronic enthusiasm. They are smelly, dumb, and dangerous!"  

Two of the Bigfoot Gang caught on security camera casing an overpriced Vacations Ruined By Owner Cabin hiding near the Russian River. 

Reports of overturned garbage cans, ransacked potato chip bags, and enormous piles of pungent simian fecal matter have overwhelmed the local constabulary in Guerneville. "Oh sure, we get your normal local crazies saying they've seen a Sasquatch here, but we've never had to deal with actual Bigfoots! Our attorney general says they are a protected species, so our options are limited. We must try to talk to these beasts and convince them to move on the next county. Always a good strategy, normally. But have you ever tried talking to a Bigfoot?", said a harassed Sheriff's Deputy. 

Suspected Sasquatch gang member spotted casing a marina on the Sacramento River Delta. Multiple thefts of 2-day old fish and organic fried chips were reported.

 

The Bigfoot crime wave has hit normally soggy Marinas on the Delta. "They came in the fog", said one incurable fisherman, "They shook me down! I had to give them all the fish I caught plus my precious bags of organic high-fat briny-fried potato chips. Boy was I mad, but there was nothing I could do. These Sasquatches are a protected species. My trusty .45 I always carry for deep-water fishing trips was useless. Hey, don't laugh! A .45 shot at point-blank range into the water always helps me reach my fish limit for the day! Fishing pole not needed! You gotta bring a net though. Yeah, bring the net."  

 

Security Camera captures Bigfoot Gang Member lurking around a Pirates Lair.

Authorities are closing in on the gang. A Marina known as a Pirates Lair has been associated with multiple reports of Bigfoot sightings. "Say, we might have something there!", explained a retired local police chief, "Time to send out the Bat Signal!". He is quite retired, at this point. 

Dr. Karl Blinng, President-for-Life of the YETI NOT SETI Institute located in fishy Yuba City, California, had a comment on the Bigfoot Crime Wave of the Century. "These beasts are soooooo DUMB! They should be robbing banks or something. At least break into a potato chip factory and gorge themselves senseless. Morons!" 

Erk Holohead, the Institute's propaganda and revenue director, had an idea. "Yeah... I've got an idea... yeah. This time it's a good one! We put on monkey suits, see? Then we go for the BIG money and rob banks, casinos, and museums, see? Yeah... the coppers will never figure it out. They'll blame the Bigfoot ape-boys. Dis'll be a lot more fun than scamming widows and orphans!"

Bigfoot Spotted in Catskills and New Joisey! Where's Jimmy?

Novel New York and New Jersey Sasquatch Sightings! Another hairy-raising reason to leave NYC? 

The Catskills and Northern New Jersey were the scene of wonky wildness Bigfoot action and needless speculation as multiple sightings were made in formerly scenic areas of both states. State and local officials are pleading with the tax-paying natives to remain calm and NOT move to Florida or Connecticut. However, some state officials in New Joisey ain't talkin', no-how.

 

"Where's Jimmy? I know he's around here, somewhere."

 

The New Jersey Botanical Gardens was the scene of multiple Bigfoot sightings, scaring visitors green, horrifying horticulturalists, gobsmacking gardenias. Estimated damage to the Botanical Garden's flora exceeds $300,000 due to toxic bodily waste functions unleashed by the Sasquatch. "The ape man looked intense, like he was looking for someone. I wouldn't want to be around when he finds 'em! I bet he's another one of them kooks who thinks Jimmy Hoffa was used for fertilizer around here. Naaaaa, that ain't it. Guess again, punk!"
 

The Beast caught on security camera at the Botanical Gardens.

 

The Catskills in New York State were not spared a Bigfoot scare. Authorities really don't know why the simian bothered to go there, but speculate it was attracted by multiple breweries in the region. "Bigfoots like rancid fried foods and stale beer", stated a local wildlife expert. 

 

Catskill Sasquatch Surveying His Domain. 

The beast managed to frighten tourists visiting a local waterfall and pool before they headed onto a stale beer brewery tour. "That monkey-man decided to take a bath in the pool! He smelled a 1,000 times worse than wet dog. We was stuck against the cliff for an hour before that hairy-nut-job waltzed away", exclaimed a thirsty visitor. An emergency environmental clean-up team is urgently working on the area, and hope to reopen the pool and falls in 2029. This is the State of New York, after all. 

 

Wash and Wear? Fleas Beware!

Dr. Karl Blinng, Director-For-Life of the YETI NOT SETI Institute located in musty Yuba City, California, pontificated on the latest Sasquatch sighting. "As I pontificate, I can't help but admire the sound of my own voice. Ahhh, wait a minute, wrong press announcement. Ah, here it is, stuck in my left ear. Yes. OK! We at the institute are shocked at the recent sightings in New York and New Jersey. Shocked, I say! What I want to know is just where are all these breweries in the Catskills? More importantly, where are all the moonshine stills?"

Sasquatch Spotted in Amish Country!

Local Amish and Noisy Tourists Bothered by Bigfoot Sighting in Pennsylvania Dutch Country!

 Lancaster County Pennsylvania is well known for its Amish folk, intrusive tourists, and the world's largest buffet - - the Shady Character Smorgasbord. What it hasn't been known here are obnoxious smelly Bigfoots, but that happy fact is rapidly changing for the worst. 

The Simian was caught on camera trying to board a tourist bus headed towards a large all-you-can-eat buffet. It had no ticket and was refused entry. 

Throughout the Pennsylvania Dutch Country, reports of animals acting strangely were common. "Horses, goats, cows, dogs, cats, squirrels and gerbils have a special aversion to the smell of Sasquatches, you know", an Amish farmer pontificated, "However, the pigs seemed to enjoy the company". 

Bigfoot Buggy Thief!

Police stated that several horse buggies were stolen by the adventurous Apeman, but he didn't get far. "Them horses weren't going to pull that mangy beast if they could help it!", said an officer, "That monkey man had to abandon ship and hoof it to the forests to avoid detection. He had an arm load of suspicious looking old scrabble with him. My guess is that his stomach can handle it!"  

Dr. Karl Blinng, President For Life of the YETI NOT SETI Institute located in the heavily Deitsche town of Yuba City, California, had an opinion on this event. "I'm opinionated. My opinions carry great weight in the Sasquatch Research Community. Just ask me! Anyway, these sighting in Amish Country are remarkable. Also remarkable is that I haven't tried fresh Scrapple yet!"

New Bigfoot Sightings in the Redwoods! Get High and Space Out?

Sasquatches Spotted in California Redwoods! Antique Hippies and Evasive Marijuana Farmers Stoked Up!

Incredible Bigfoot Sightings have started piling up around Humboldt Redwoods State Park like so much, er, cork-wood. Concerned locals not connected to bigfoot tourist business in the region are starting to, like, FREAK OUT, man!

A hairy hiker caught this hairy Bigfoot scampering across the Redwood Forest. "The beast was either hunting lunch or was on a fun run!", exclaimed the amazed day-tripper. 

Bigfoot Pack scouring the Humboldt area?

Aromatic physical evidence in the form of scattered dung heaps is rapidly piling up on the forest floor. "Yep, it looks like a gang of these rascally bigfoots are scouring the area - - looking for old human food, unhealthy snacks, and cannabis plants!", surmised a perturbed park ranger. "It's rare to see this hominid group behavior in the wild, but then again anything about a Sasquatch is rare!"

Sasquatch Gang captured on remote forest camera before shutting down! The camera was reportedly disabled by copious amounts of Bigfoot urine. 

Local Bigfoot Tourism Jumps:

The recent Bigfoot sightings have sparked a rebound in the regional Sasquatch Tourism Industry. "Hey this Bigfoot scam, er business, is a lot better than selling pork rinds and cheap beer!"

Bigfoot "Odeur de Cheveux grass" sales up 75% at certain select quality Sasquatch theme convenience stores. Why this is happening, and who is buying them, is a mystery we don't want to solve. 

Dr. Karl Blinng, President-for-Life of the pesky, make that persistent, YETI-NOT-SETI Institute issued a major press release from his Yuba City headquarters. "Hey folks, don't be fooled. Those bigfoots spotted running around the Redwoods are real! I am raging with anger at the Bigfoot Convenience Store industry, however. They refused to sell heroically posed 1/14 scale statues of ME in their stores. What idiots! These imported statues are made of the finest virginal resin plastics, lovingly sprayed with gold glitter for a stunning impact. My name is glorified on the pedestal. Every home needs one!"

Erk Holohead, COO, CFO, CMO, O-NO, and keeping a low profile to comply with a recent IRA audit, announced plans to sell the glorious leader statues directly to an adoring public. "Yeah. Well. Right. So... we have around 10,000 of these amazing statues stuffed in boxes in my garage. We're going to announce a special 3-for-1 sale soon. Perhaps a 10-to-1 sale. Credit Cards, Debit Cards, and Cash are accepted as payment... especially Venezuelan Bolivares."

Bigfoot in Argentina: Buenos Aires No Bueno No Mas!

Sasquatch infiltrates Buenos Aires! "Malos Aires" in the breeze!

 As feared, a disgusting gringo Bigfoot beast entered the formerly glorious Argentine city of Buenos Aires after his unpleasant escapades in balmy Patagonia. 

Amazing photo of the simian searching for ageing left-over Choripán at street cafes.

"Ese mono simplemente caminaba por nuestra calle y cogía lo que le sobraba de las mesas de los restaurantes. ¡No tenía vergüenza! ¡Parece que él tampoco tiene papilas gustativas!" said a traumatized local attempting to enjoy his afternoon merienda in peace. Translation: "That monkey animal simply walked down our street and took whatever left-over food he wanted from restaurant tables. He had no shame! Apparently he has no taste-buds either!"

Sasquatch getting into the waving game at Restaurante La Biela. 

The Bigfoot was fixated by over-sized statues gracing the entrance of the Restaurante La Biela in central Buenos Aires. He aped (of course he would do that) the statues by waving at all passer-byes. "Our business, she drop-a 50, no 75, NO 100% when that crazy monkey stood outside!", exclaimed a shocked manager.

Crypto Beast Meets Mystery Meats!

Ham? Beef? Mutant Chicken Legs? Rhea? Whatever this meat was, Bigfoot was entranced and hungry.

Sasquatch lurking near the statue of General Manuel Belgrano.

Dr. Karl Blinng, President For Life of the YETI NOT SETI Institute in the Pampas region of Yuba City, California, was mortified. "I'm mortified! This beast was lost in the icy wastelands of Patagonia. I honestly thought we'd never see that stupid big Ape again. But look! He's hanging around Buenos Aires causing trouble! How did this dimwit crypto-creature get to Argentina in the first place? Walking through the treacherous Darien Gap, across the icy Andes, and through the vast malarial Amazon? I don't think so. He's dumb, but not that dumb. I'm confident he smuggled his way to the Southern Cone by ship or plane. He doesn't have frequent flier miles, that's for sure."

London Bigfoot Strikes Again!

Blimey! London Bigfoot Infestation Continues! Millions of Minions Mortified!

Londoners have been irritably inconvenienced by another sleuthy Bigfoot sighting. Sasquatch sightings continue in Central London and even (God Save The King) at Windsor Castle!

Sasquatch caught wondering around Trafalgar Square. Nelson was not amused.

Trafalgar Square Sighting!

It was a lovely damp, cold, drizzly English Sunday morning. Trafalgar Square was filled with distracted student groups making day trips, Pigeons eating left-over food in trash bins, Pigeons dive-bombing startled tourists, polite bums sleeping rough around the area, mediocre coffee shops, and more. Then a Bigfoot showed up. At first no one gave the ape-man any mind, but when the beast started chasing pigeons away from the bins so he could have his own Sunday brunch the crowd became alarmed and rushed pell-mell into the National Gallery seeking safety. In desperation, they were forced to wonder aimlessly and look at old paintings of fox hunts, earls, and dukes until the all-clear signal was given. Pigeons hate Sasquatches, these rats with wings fled the Trafalgar Square area and didn't dare return for three days. Locals want the Sasquatch to come back! 

Bigfoot and Mr. Bean spotted quite near Windsor Castle!

Sasquatch Sighting at Windsor Castle!

In a serious security breach a Bigfoot was spotted not only in the village of Windsor but inside the actual Castle complex! Fortunately the Royal Family was not at Windsor though some intruders who looked like Prince Andrew and HRH Meghan were seen trying to sneak into the Castle grounds. Officials are not talking. Whispers of a crypto-beast cover-up are rampant.  

Shocked tourist captures the horrific moment an odorous Bigfoot sauntered by a main gate at Windsor Castle.

Pall Mall Sighting! Horse Guards and Ghurkas Gobsmacked!

A bystander caught the back of the London Bigfoot's head during the parade. "I was going to tell him to move and not spoil my shot, but self-preservation told me otherwise!"

Bystanders were shocked when the Sasquatch appeared at a Horse Guards Parade, which also featured a Fighting Battalion of Gurkhas. The sudden arrival of the Bigfoot sparked a predictable equine pandemonium. With their keen sense of smell Horses hate Sasquatches. The parade quickly became a shambles as the horses were speedily sent off to their stables to recover. The plucky Ghurkas regiment became animated and excited, mistaking the hairy simian for a YETI. Parade formation was disrupted! Ghurkas get a little homesick at times. A good 'ol hairy YETI sighting from back home always gets their spirits up.     

British officials are mum on the sightings. Erk Holohead, a member of the bored of directors of the YETI not SETI Institute, which is conveniently located nearby a day-old bangers and mash joint in Yuba City, California, was not mum. "I'll not stay mum about these incredible London Bigfoot sightings. I'll stay mute! Yes, I've been paid off for my silence, along with a blackmail threat to reveal certain grey-area financial dealings to the IRS if I don't keep quiet. But I will say this about that... these Bigfoot sightings in London aren't over, except for Mayfair... it's way too posh for Sasquatches."

¡Increíbles estupideces! Bigfoot Sightings in the Southern Cone! Argentina Blames Chile Blames Brazil Blames Argentina!

Patagonia Pummeled by Odoriferous Mangy Sasquatch! Iguazu Falls Drys Up from Bigfoot Blunders!

A seriously wayward North American Sasquatch has caused a series of regrettable multinational 'incidents' deep within the Southern Cone of Latin America affecting Chile, Brazil, and Little Italy (otherwise known as Argentina). 

Patagonia Glaciers Despoiled by Chill Bigfoot:

A busload of naive tourists who payed big bucks to take a promised tour of Copacabana Beach during the infamous Rio Tanga Swimsuit Season were heartily hoodwinked and cheerfully diverted onto a nature tour deep into the freezing wastelands of temperate Patagonia. One perma-frosted North American attempted to take a photo of a huge glacier field when the Bigfoot barged right in front of his camera. "I was photo-bombed! That beast came up to me asking for unhealthy food choices! Fortunately I had some old pork rinds in my pocket. That kept the furry monster busy and I could make escape back onto the bus. I'm pretty sure we weren't in Rio de Janiero anymore?"  

Bigfoot encounters Iguazu Falls. 

Iguazu Falls Flatulence Flattens Tourists at now desiccated landmark!

The same busload of confused tourists were taken to a major landmark between Argentina and Brazil, the world famous Iguazu Falls, even though the tour guided stated they were visiting the Amazonia city of Manaus. "You know", said another dazed tourist, "I'm beginning to think booking this cut-rate local tour operator was a mistake? I mean, this looks nothing like Montevideo?" 

In an amazing coincidence yet another tourist's photos were photo-bombed by a Sasquatch! "Hey, that falls was a great water show! Better than Niagara or that time I had a water pipe burst on the second floor of my house. But when the water stopped the Falls were bone dry! What happened? Did we forget to tip the River Management?" The blockage of the Iguazu falls was quickly determined to be a chaotic dam thrown-up with old tires, pork rind bags, and matted mangy fur. "It was a dangerous Bigfoot that blocked the river! Between the tires, bags, and the beasts own loose hair, a dam quickly formed. Fortunately we were able to unblock the smelly mess with three tons of dynamite. We only needed 40 pounds of explosives... por qué no... but what the heck. We drank a case of Yatay Liqueur and had some fun!", exclaimed a rather relaxed Argentine Park Ranger. 

Sasquatch hiding in Patagonia?

It is suspected the Bigfoot has retreated deep into Patagonia. Patagonia is a hospitable region of the world famous for large cosmopolitan cities with 24 hour pizza delivery, vineyards, parrilladas, and charming blasting winds coupled with brutal antarctic temperatures which can deep-freeze a live elephant in 35 seconds. A dead elephant in 25 seconds, so we've been told. Dr. Karl Blinng, an expert on Patagonia, Sasquatches, and Frostbite, had some icy comments on this theory: "Fools! Patagonia is no place for man nor beast. Even crypto-beasts! OK, so if YOU were a Bigfoot, which would you choose? Teeming Buenos Aires with a million poor fried food choices to steal... errr liberate... OR a frozen wasteland where one can't even get a soggy day old frozen empanada? I rest my case. This gringo Sasquatch is hiding out in Argentina. He'll be back!"