New Sasquatch Sightings in Panamá City! ¡Nuevo avistamiento de Sasquatch en la ciudad de Panamá!

Mysterious Ravenous Bigfoot Disrupts Dizzy Diners at Iconic Greek Restaurant in Panamá!

Yet another unwelcome Bigfoot incident has hit Panamá City, Panamá, and the mangy fur is flying.

Wild Animal Planet scene at the iconic Parrillada Jimmy Restaurant in the San Francisco district of Panamá City.

Jimmy's Restaurant was packed with ravenous diners as Carnaval Week was ramping up. That night, however, initially worried whispers from patrons near the windows became shouts and alarms as a feral Sasquatch loitered outside, sniffing intently, smacking it's lips, and looking madly at the dishes being served. "That gringo monkey, he really like the aromas coming from the restaurant. We didn't know if it was going to charge in and gobble up all the dinners (not diners) and small yappy service dogs caught-up in the feeding frenzy. I had to order more double-shot sangrias to steady my nerves!", exclaimed one regular patron. 

The Sasquatch was only satisfied once the staff began throwing old fried plantain, yucca, and left-over meat and fish cuts into the parking lot as a bribe to stay out. 

Thanks to fast action by restaurant kitchen-staff and management, discarded food and table scraps were thrown to the hungry beast. Yet after gorging upon these left-overs, the monster wanted more. Only when a medium-rare gourmet "Jimmy Steak" with inserted garlic cloves was thrown to the animal did the hairy beast slink back into the night. It's suspected the stuffed Bigfoot took a long siesta, and then headed towards the big Fish Market on the other side of town. Police are on the look-out and getting close. "But not too close, we're not stupid! Beside, it's Carnaval now. He'll easily slip into the party crowds until he does something offensive and Sasquatchy?"

Easily one of the best steaks in Panama, "The Jimmy" garlic cloves-embedded gourmet steak was sacrificed in order to satiate the savage Bigfoot. "An incredible waste of a great steak.", sadly sniffed one shocked patron.

 

Gratuitous unpaid Endorsement of Parrillada Jimmy Restaurant in Panamá City. Excellent food. Open since 1966, a city icon. The "Jimmy Steak" with savory sauces and tasty Panamanian side dishes is fantastic. If you're ever in Panamá City, try it out!

Erk Holohead, a member of the YETI NOT SETI Institute bored of directors, was nearly comatose. "Yes, I was utterly comatose after eating an excellent dinner at Jimmy's. I still dream about that steak. But drat it all, I never saw the nasty Bigfoot! This rare tropical Sasquatch sighting gives me an good idea, sometimes I have them. We'll set up barbecue traps all over suspected Bigfoot areas. We'll put garlic clove infused marinated Filet Mignon steaks on the grill, drink icy artisanal beers, and have our cameras ready. Heck even if a Bigfoot doesn't appear, we'll still get a food coma!"

Sasquatch Sighting in Panamá City! ¡Sasquatch en Ciudad de Panamá otra vez, carajo!

 Persnickety Bigfoot Spotted in Panamá! Clumsy city ape-man targets Tourista Business! 

After a welcome break, another unwelcome Bigfoot has been spotted in Panamá City, Panamá - - once again spoiling the recovering Avenida Balboa and Marbella neighborhoods. "The beast is operating a shake-down operation on tourist operators.", said a special investigations detective from the national Departamento de Investigaciones Repugnantes y Turistas (DIRT). 

The intended target of the Bigfoot's wrath?

In the first attack, the Bigfoot approached a autobus hop-on hop-off kiosk along Avenida Balboa, filled with tourists waiting for the next bus, awed by the heroic traffic congestion just steps away. To the amazement of tourists and locals, the hairy beast sat down on a bench armed with oily day-old carimañolas wrapped in a fishy-smelling newspaper. The ape-man proceeded to eat his ageing snack while avidly reading the newspaper upside down. Needless to say, the area was cleared of tourists, locals, and pigeons within seconds. When a Hop-On bus rolled up the beast got up and boarded the bus. Monkey mayhem ensued! "When my customers saw this, this, this, this ANIMAL hop on the  bus, they all hopped off - - through windows, the emergency escape, anywhere! I lost all my fares except this stupid big ape. So I drove it over to Calle 50 and told him in no uncertain terms that my bus was now off-line, and time to get out. He hopped out. I mean that literally. He thought it was required to hop in and out of the bus, he isn't too bright. Ese simio era muy tonto!" 

Shake-down Sasquatch dropped off in front of the RIU Plaza hotel on Calle 50. Hotel Reservations plummeted.

Police have released a mysterious letter sent by an unknown person(?) to various tourist outfits a week ago. The writer appears to have limited intelligence and is threatening blackmail. The letter is badly scrawled in red crayon on an empty french-fries box. "It looks like an illiterate human wrote it, except for the grease spots and fur all over it.", said an investigator. The letter's contents were short and to the point: "Der Syrs - U hav 23 21 24 ahoras to to lev mi taasti junc fud in ur basuras or mi goin to be mean to ur bizneseses. U warrned! Sinserly, señor Beeegfut"

The infamous Panamá Bigfoot scanning Avenida Balboa, plotting his next catastrophic caper?

 The beast's photo was caught by a shocked Condo Manager using the building's stairs. The ape-man fled before the police could arrive on the scene, as did the condo manager - he gave his resignation immediately after the sighting. "This job ain't worth running into monos malolientes like that one!". 

Erk Holohead, a member of the YETI NOT SETI bored of directors, visited Panamá during the latest Sasquatch attack. "I'm shocked some of these Bigfoots manage to find a way down from the USA and Canada to PTY. Panamá needs to tighten up restrictions on their Panama Relocation programs. Amongst all those North American retirees coming to the country, it's way too easy right now for an anti-social Bigfoot with evil designs on the tourist industry to blend-in and even qualify for the Pensionando Program! Call me a snob but the program should be revised to apply to homo-sapiens-sapiens only, if you ask me, not gigantopithecus-revultas. 

Perilous Panama Bigfoot Sighting at Avenida Balboa!

 Aromatically Formidable Sasquatch Ruins Sunday Outings for Local Panamanian Denizens! 

Sunday morning is usually the only time of the week when frazzled residents of Panama City, Panamá can enjoy strolling and riding bicycles on Avenida Balboa without risking certain death from a never ending procession of cars, taxis, buses and renegade raspao carts. But not this Sunday! Thanks to a rare Bigfoot sighting in the city, general panic erupted and the entire area was shutdown while the police looked for the hairy and very sweaty creature. "We couldn't find the beast, again." said a local traffic cop. "These creatures are wily and elusive. Entonces, that is our official excuse anyway."

The Bigfoot was spotted along the Cinta Costera by a terrified tourist. "I smelled it before I saw it, unfortunately."

A local caught a foto of the Bigfoot waving at people gaping at him in shock from the Marina. "These poor guys at the Marina were yelling and screaming and pointing at the beast. I think that dumb creature thought they were waving at him, so he waved back! Then he stole my raspao, the furry cad!"

To add insult to olfactory injury, the monster appeared to sniff his armpits "with satisfactin" when he spotted an underarm deodorant advertisement on Avenida Balboa. "That beast definitely doesn't use a deodorant!", exclaimed a traumatized local. Doctors say the poor victim's nose will recover in a few months.

Why has Sasquatch returned to Panama City? Speculation abounds, but it is thought by certain local university professors in Cryptozoology (a popular class with Freshman looking for an easy grade) that as restaurants reopen from the Covid lock-down, the smells of fried foods have attracted the beast to venture down from the hills surrounding the city. 

Erk Holohead, a delinquent member of the YETI NOT SETI Institute bored of directors, has a special theory regarding Sasquatch and Panamá. "Look. It all adds up. Like 2+2=7. This Sasquatch is incognito. The monster probably has warrants for his arrest all over the place for petty food theft, public health violations, and other amazing crimes back in the States. The FBI want to 'talk' to him. A lot of Gringos from the USA and Canada are moving to Boquete, which is also an attractive habitat for hairy ape-men. Some of these gringos may have seen this Bigfoot in North America and could ID him in an instant. That big Ape has gone to the big city to hide out until the coast is clear. Plus, it loves fried foods. Can't resist 'em." 

Past Panamá Bigfoot Sightings Revealed!

Panamá Bigfoot Sightings Revealed by the YETI not SETI Institute.

Panamá Bigfoot Pandemonium - An Unnatural History:

Bigfoot Sightings in the Republic of Panamá.

All The POOP on Panama and Bigfoot!

Posh Panama Perplexed By Bigfoot Sighting!

Perturbed Panamanians Panic, Pout, and Pontificate on Rare Sasquatch Sighting!

Panama City residents are in a uproar, more than usual, over multiple sightings of a reclusive Panama Bigfoot in formerly fancy ocean-front neighborhoods. The hairy ape-beast was spotted haunting Punta Pacifica, Punta Paitilla, and the Cinta Costera neighborhoods, apparently searching for raspao and left-over artisanal pizza slices.

Sasquatch Spoiling Posh Punta Pacifica - Condo Prices Crashed within Minutes!

A local Punta Pacifica realtor was shocked. "I was showing some potential buyers a nice condo unit in Bahia Lotte Grande, the building formerly known as the Frump International Hotel & Tower. I had those buyers hook, line, and sinker. Cash sale! But it all turned into a real stinker once they saw that ugly sasquatch thingy loitering around the main entrance plaza. People were astounded! I had to discount that unit 25% to get the deal done. I'm going to write a book on this, called 'The art of the Bigfoot deal'."

Bigfoot caught Gazing at the Cinta Costera. 

The Cinta Costera is normally full of happy fashionably jaded joggers, willful walkers, scattered students and toasty tourists. These people move much faster than the traffic on nearby Avenida Balboa. But not today. Once word spread of a Bigfoot sighting the place emptied out within minutes. Sanitation experts closed the formerly scenic pathway for hours while checking for any bio-hazard souvenirs the beast may have left behind.

Panama Sasquatch Sours Punta Paitilla.

Punta Paitilla was not spared from the Sasquatch's big Panama adventure. Sightings brought street traffic to a virtual standstill, but no one in the area could tell the difference.

Bigfoot Saunters Past Club Union. Membership Plummets. Keep Walking Bigfoot!

The classy Club Union in Punta Paitilla received a hairy hit from the Panama Bigfoot incursion. After the beastie was spotted sauntering by the exclusive Club membership cancellations were rumored to have tripled, though management is not commenting.

Erk Holohead, a dues paying bored of directors member of the YETI not SETI Institute in bone-dry Yuba City, California, was paranoid about Panama. "I'm paranoid! There have been a diaper RASH of puzzling Panama Bigfoot sightings in recent years, but no one is taking action! No one is talking about it! Well, except for the 25 independent candidates running from the President of Panama in 2019, but no one listens to them anyway."

This brave blog has been tracking Bigfoot activities in Panama for years. The evidence is clear, something pernicious is happening in Panama, and positively involves a nasty ape-man with poor public hygiene.

Bigfoot Sighting near Panamá City! More Pánico in Panamá!

Tropical Terror Titillates Taboga - - Island Paradise Punctured by Sasquatch Appearance!

The formerly peaceful, slow-placed "Island of Flowers" offshore from Panama City has become the "island of weeds" after an aromatic Sasquatch was spotted roaming the streets of Isla Taboga during the normally sleepy, mellow, and placid middle of the week.

Terrified Taboga Tourists gaping at waving Sasquatch.

Lulu Lomax, an appalled touristic Aggie day-tripping eyewitness, couldn't believe her eyes. "I couldn't believe my eyes! Nor my brain either! Here we were enjoying a quiet stroll down a quiet street in Taboga, when a hairy apeman jumped in front of us and started waving like a maniac! Oh sure, it looked friendly enough for an attitude adjusted ape-monster, but it wanted our fried yucca chips. Making unhealthy food choices combined with bad hygiene.... that Sasquatch suffers from high cholesterol levels and evil body odor, poor brute."

Another Aggie visitor, Keeeener Kmesz, was calm but curious.... "I'd heard about Sasquatches from my family up in Montana. There's even an ancient rumor that one of my great-great-great-grandmothers was part Sasquatch. But I looked down upon such drivel, and never believed these crypto-creatures could exist, until today. I've seen the furry beast with my own eyes! I gonna change my major to biomedical crypto-zoololgy... this is cool, I think? I hope it pays? Oh, make sure the 'K' is silent in my last name when you write your world-scoop news story."

Only mad dogs and bigfoots go out in the mid-day sun. 

The siesta hour mean streets of Taboga quickly emptied of formerly relaxed people, indifferent dogs, calm cats, and confused chickens as word spread of the amazingly sanguine Sasquatch Sighting.

Safety First? Sasquatch ignoring "PELIGRO WARNING: BIGFOOTS" signage at Restinga Beach. 

Erk Holohed, a member of the YETI NOT SETI Institute, which is dedicated to the study of crypto-zoological creatures and the fleecing of unsuspecting Institutional investors, was not amused. "I'm not amused. This Bigfoot island attack hit too close to home. I was on Isla Taboga that same day, conducting an important experiment measuring the cumulative effects Cerveza Panamá, Ceviche, Patacones, Cerveza Panamá, and Seco have on the human brain. All paid for by a Federal Government research grant! Suckers. But that ape-beast almost ruined my experiment! Good thing I didn't include fried yucca chips in the dosage scheme."

Historical Bigfoot Sightings in Panamá:

• Wild Bigfoot Spotted on Taboga Island in Panama! 
• Panama Jungle Bigfoot Spotted in Darién Gap!
• BigFoot Causes Panic in Tropical Paradise!
• Jar Jar Bynx Found Dead in Panama.

Antipodal Sasquatch Attacks Again!

Agonizing Amazement in Antarctica! 'Snow Cone' Bigfoot Attacks Another Frozen Treat Research Center.

Just as an abnormally chill Antarctic scientific research community recovers from a incredible Bigfoot attack on a top secret Snow Cone R&D facility, another shockingly sickening simian raid has occurred on a Latin American funded raspao ice sourcing expedition.

"Si, I was there when the apeman attacked!", said a senior scientist from the Panama Raspao Technology and Optimization Project, POTRP - Proyecto de Optimización y Tecnología Raspao de Panamá. "It was horible, muy malo. We were sooooooo close to creating the perfect ice for raspao. This new ice would have revolutionized the domestic raspao industry. Now, disaster! This ape ruined everything. All is contaminated. Perhaps we can create better ice cubes for jugo de naranja y seco, but that is a sad consolation. Muy interesente, we found a unique form of yellow snow near the ruined raspao ice columns. It looks like limones. Tastes like papas fritas rancias. We will take this yellow snow sample back to Panamá and analyze it... we've found a formidable new raspao flavor!"

The Antarctic Sasquatch before his assault on massive raspao research ice columns.

Hairy Bigfoot contaminating precious Antarctic raspao ice columns. Months of research destroyed. 

Fortunately for the YETI NOT SETI INSTITUTE but unfortunately for our intrepid, trusting, but totally fooled unpaid intern, Jassyka Blinng once again experienced a shocking in-your-face and in-your-nose Antarctic Sasquatch sighting. "I can't believe it! After the earlier Bigfoot attack, I've been terribly traumatized. Now this new attack. Those clowns at the institute told me I'd have fun in the snow! They said there was a ski lodge here. What crooks! I'd sue that so-called 'Institute' for fraud if they had any funds."

Dr. Karl Blinng, Director of the Institute, was touchy and defensive about the decision to send an unpaid intern into such dangerous circumstances. "So I'm a bit touchy and defensive today, OK? My submitted expert article to Sasquatch Theoretical Journal was rejected, again. And hey, whoever said the pursuit of deep-freeze scientific knowledge was easy? Besides, Ms. Blinng signed a well-covered liability waiver before she left on that icy expedition. Legally, we're totally in the clear. Our lawyer Ricard Scheister assures me we'll beat any rap. Who wouldn't trust a lawyer named Scheister?"

Erk Holohed, a member of the institute's bored of directors, tweeted an unauthorized update on raspao - - "I love Raspao! Especially this new limón flavor. #yellowsnow".

Panama Island Bigfoot Sighting!

Wild Bigfoot Spotted on Taboga Island in Panama! Locals in Shock.

Surf, Sand and Sasquatch?!

The beautiful tropical island of Isla Taboga in Panama was shaken, not stirred, by an odoriferous rogue Bigfoot, ruining New Years Eve celebrations for thousands. A horrified local saw it all... "That mala bestia roamed the village stealing  fried plantains and papas fritas - - the apeman really liked rancid old patacones the best, like a demented loco. The monkey-man scared our snoozing dogs, chillin' chickens, and serene cats nearly to death! Taboga is a laid back kind of place, ¿sabes?, we don't get this kind of 'excitement' around here."

Sorry Sasquatch caught roaming a formerly swanky area of Isla Taboga. Distress "For  Sale" signs sprouted like weeds after the hairy BigFoot was spotted.

The Autoridad de Tourismo Panamá issued a statement that while BigFoots have been seen in Panama before, there was no need for tourists to panic and change vacation plans to scenic North Korea. 

A senior tourist official, off the record, said "Esto como una gran oportunidad para alentar a Sasquatch Hunter turismo en Panamá. Vamos a pedir a los tontos del canal Animal Planet Hunters Bigfoot aquí. Pasarán un montón de dinero! Son un grupo de payasos. Oye, no me estás citando ¿verdad?".*

*Translation: "The Animal Planet BigFoot Hunters are our very best friends, and we encourage these intelligent, brave Sasquatch (and need I add well-funded) hunters to come to Panama and spend lots of money, and finally  find a Sasquatch. Hello! Ah, did I mention they can spend lots of money here too?"

BigFoot Causes Panic in Tropical Paradise!

Isla Taboga Terrified as Rogue Sasquatch Sighted - -  "It came from the sea!"

Erk Holohead, a panicked Taboga tourist, caught this amazing photo of a wild Bigfoot emerging from the Pacific Ocean during high-tide. "I was sitting on a beach veranda with 99.9% of my brain cells shut down (normally I have only 99.8% on extended leave), enjoying the ocean breeze... the beautiful view... a case of Panama Beer... but then I spotted a trail of bubbles belching up from the ocean surface and heading towards shore, then suddenly thousands of crazy fish leaped straight into the air trying to escape something very nasty under the waves. I thought it was a killer shark or North Korean submarine, but then this ugly, rancid monkey beast emerged from the surf, wiping seaweed, clam shells and old Panama Beer bottle caps off its fur! The ape-man scaled the beach wall, jumped over some sleeping dogs and ran away. Luckily my Panama beer supplies helped cushion the shock. I'm going to have to stay here another month to recover from this."

A longtime Taboga island resident was shocked to see this "Sea Sasquatch" strolling Restinga Beach during low tide. "It was just another pacífico y tranquilo day on the island. I was at the beach looking for Pizzaro's buried Inca treasure and North Korean submarine defectors, then this bestia simios walks right past me... it was torture, the fragrancia horrible of this filthy beast almost killed me!"

This amazing Bigfoot sighting has resulted in a huge spike in extended hotel bookings from Sasquatch Anthropologists across the world in Taboga Island and Panama City. Local Taboga shop owners say the invasion of Bigfoot hunters is bad for business. "These scientists are cheap spenders and throw goofy 'missing-link' parties.", said the town mayor.

"At last I can pretend to do field work on a nice tropical island with room service, chilled adult beverages, and veg-out using my federal grant bailout money under the cover of academic research. I'm gonna 'work' here for months, it'll be a great vacation!" said Briian Lerkey, Ph.D. an expert in Pseudo-Sasquatchology from Rice University in Texas. "Ah, you won't print that, right?".

Panama Jungle Bigfoot Spotted in Darién Gap!

Sasquatch Experts Buzzing - - Photo Reveals Jungle Bigfoot in Natural Habitat.

The Instituto Smythsonian de Investigaciones Ridículo Tropicales (STRRI) in Panama has released a stunning photo clearly showing an ape-like creature resembling Gigantopithecus Revoltus deep inside the Darién Province near the Colombian border.

"We caught the beast on camera using a slow-motion detector currently being used for a detailed study of the social habits of the rare Speckled Slimey Plantain Slug, Mocos Disgustus. Like I said, the camera is verrry sloooow motion,  the scientists involved were getting bored to tears. This Monkey-man sighting is a heck of a lot more exciting! Strange, but the slugs seemed to suffer greatly in their olfactory glands during the Sasquatch appearance, gaseous emissions from the animal may have been a factor.", said Jose Raman Boris Acibeeno, research director for the Institute.

The Darién Gap is a mysterious, remote, unknown, wild and vast region of mountains, swampland, rainforest and lost remote controls separating Panama from Colombia. Perfecto for a family vacation! "Finding a Bigfoot in this forbidding region is not surprising. We suspect there could be ferocious gerbils, dangerous dinosaurs, ancient alien artifacts, and savage exiled hedge-fund managers lurking in there. There was an alleged Sasquatch sighting in Darien in 1920, by a direct ancestor of that loco quack Dr. Blinng... intelligence does not seem to run too deep in that particular family tree, sabes?"

Sasquatch is a Panama Party Animal...

Too Bad this BigFoot binger can't Tell Time!

Early morning sighting of Panama Bigfoot.

A stranded tourist from Patagonia caught this amazing photo of a Bigfoot loitering in a nightclub district in Panama City, Panamá. 

"The beast looked like he was ready to party... But it was only 10 en la mañana, everything was shut down. It almost looked like this hairy animal was bar-hopping, but all the bars were closed."

"Either the creature was practicing nothing or he was muy estúpido! The Sasquatch can't tell time, for sure. I bet it can't dance reggaetón either."

"Divertido, ¿no? Y esta criatura apestosa parece ser tan inteligente como un coco."

Seconds later, the Panama Party Bigfoot ran away towards Avenida Central, chased by a feral pack of ferocious miniature toy poodles. Panama police are alert and on the case, "This incident requires many, many, many, mucho, mucho visits to the local nightclubs for further investigation", said the city crypto-animal control officer, "mucho!".

Jar Jar Bynx Found Dead in Panama

Star Warz Actor Murdered by Panama BigFoot?
"Bynx Had Too Many Enemies to Know Who Did It" say Panama Police.

Panamanian officials announced today the "Mystery Creature" found dead near the town of Cerro Azul close to Panama City was in fact the infamous sci-fi movie actor Jar Jar Bynx,  known for his Oscar wrecking performances in the later Star Warz movies.

Former Star Warz science fiction actor Jar Jar Bynx, found dead in Panama.

"Connecting recent BigFoot sightings in Panama with Jar Jar Bynx's death is just happy speculation." said the Inspector for Alien and Strange Creature Homicide Investigations, Ruebben Raffael Rodolffo Ramirezz, Jr. "That smelly Sasquatch has caused plenty of chaos in Panama lately, but the hairy beast hasn't hurt anyone yet, unless you count small furry animals and pigeons. I doubt this Sasquatch has a vendetta against movie actors, even really bad ones like Señor Bynx."

Georj Mukas, Jar Jar Bynx's Agent, released a statement to the press. "Jar Jar was in Central America preparing for our next big film. It was a blockbuster SciFi action documentary with Mr. Bynx in his next big starring role, leading a heroic quest searching for Yetis in Icy Antarctic Glaciers in tropical Panama. It had such potential! He will be missed??" There are unconfirmed reports of spontaneous "I hate Bynx" anti-fan-club street parties sprouting like wild-fire across the globe. Riot police are responding in force.

Panama has been hit with a string of incredible sightings and attacks by BigFoot creatures recently. "This Jar Jar Bynx affair confirms something puzzling, pernicious and perplexing is going on in Panama!", according to Dr. Karl Blinng, Director of the YETI not SETI Institute, "I am saddened, Jar Jar Bynx (sniff) was the best actor who ever lived. Excuse me (sniff) but this is a very emotional moment for me." (blows nose)

Jar Jar Bynx lead a troubled existence since his 'acting' appearances in the Star Warz films. He reportedly ran into financial problems after years of leading a lavish lifestyle on the French Riviera. Jar Jar sold his cherished Malibu Beach mansion to fellow actor Chewtobakka in an attempt to pay off his growing debts, and was rumored to have checked himself into the Betty Ford Institute for Undeserving Hollywood Losers in 2008.

See Jar Jar Bynx's last movie: Star Wars: Bye Bye Jar Jar
Bonus Critics Review of Jar Jar the Actor: "The Bunker" TV Show

Hallan Criatura Extraña en Cerro Azul!

Sasquatch Scene at Panama Park!

BigFoot sighting at Avenida Balboa Park Complex in Panama City - - Business District and Residents Evacuated!

Authorities confirmed that the same "sorry" Sasquatch that raided the still-recovering Panamanian luxury resort Buenaventura has badly damaged a public park along Avenida Balboa, triggering an evacuation of several hotels and banks, and forcing Panama Yacht Club members to quickly put out to sea in a chaotic scene 'straight out of Dunkirk".

Bigfoot ignoring sanitation rules in Panama City.

Perplexed Panamanian Sasquatch Ponders Probable Park Potty Options:
According to a surprised jogger who took this amazing photo, the Ape-man decided that since Bigfoots weren't drawn on the sign it was OK... it wasn't.

"Perhaps that hairy beast went to enjoy the ocean view", said a local lawyer, "pero he really messed things up. Qué desastre! But I am strangely happy in a legalistic sort of way. I expect client lawsuits from this BigFoot crisis, mucho dinero hay posible! I'm going after that hairy beast's offshore bank accounts... even his secret Swiss Sasquatch Stash. Estoy muy seguro de que podemos extrar mucho dinero de este fiasco Sasquatch, es un buen negocios!"

Sasquatch Pandemonium in Panama!

Perplexing Sightings of Hairy Beast Puts Panama in Panic!

Panama President Proclaims Possible Paleolithic Police Probe Probable....

Roaming far away from its normal unnatural habitat, a "tranquilo but very odorous" BigFoot was sighted strolling through the luxurious Buenaventura Resort, startling resort guests and causing many to flee to the local Spa until order was restored and fresh beach towels and chilled drinks were served.

"I saw him on the beach", said one employee, " the beast had la playa all to himself, especially downwind, the stench, it was horrible... the BigFoot was poking around the sand with a stick, looking for crabs, lost car keys and jewelry like a old man treasure hunting". One novela celebrity resort guest, recovering from mild shock, said "Oye, it was Mala-ventura time when that ape man showed up, but it's mucho mejor now, I have a piña colada and it came with a classy bamboo umbrella!"

Incredible photo taken by a resort guest, catching Bigfoot in full profile as he wandered the Buenaventura resort complex looking for Cerveza Panamá. Property values in the resort area plummeted 87% for a week after the animal's appearence, but appear to be slowly recovering. With Panama City only 80 miles away, government authorities are worried the "Panama BigFoot" may strike there next. "We are prepared", said one offical, "we have stockpiled fumigation sprays and air fresheners, we are ready for him!".