Panamá City Panic! Carnival Crumbles as Bigfoot Crashes Party Scene!

Gringo Sasquatch Spotted near Carnival Central in Panamá City! Police Perplexed! ¡La policía está perpleja!

Carnival is a big deal in Panamá. But a feral North American Bigfoot looking to 'party hardy' is an even bigger deal - - for Panamá Health and National Security Forces, that is.  

What are those creatures in the Poster? Mysterious Graffiti!

 "There were signs a Bigfoot was going to show up and cause problems.", stated a spokesman from the Mayor's Office. "Literally. There were signs! Some mysterious buffoon tagged our Carnival signs with "Beeg Fut Aqui" graffiti. Who did this? Why? Estúpidos. We are not laughing!"

Panamá Bigfoot lurking near a Carnival Police Patrol and an expensive Anti-Sasquatch Barrier.

The North American Monkey was spotted sneaking around La Cinta Costera, frantically searching for a way past security guards and extensive fencing to sneak into the special exclusion zone around the Carnival Action without paying. "We could never find the beast", said policeman on duty, "but we could sure smell him. ¡Qué olor tan terrible!".

The disruptive primate photo-bombed numerous tourists at the famous PANAMA Sign and empty fountain near Avenida Balboa. 

Panamá City vista ruined by a Simian Sunset. Pesky Bigfoot activity gave no reprieve to the locals or to the city bio-hazards disposal team. 

The Bigfoot maliciously tagged an authentic fake Banksy artwork in Bella Vista with juvenile graffiti. The Ape-Hunt continues!

"We believe this ape-monster has left Panamá City some months ago.", said a spokesman for the Mayor, "Hopefully never to return!"

Erk Holohead, a member of the prestigious YETI NOT SETI Institute located in balmy Yuba City, California, and a Bored of Director, was in Panamá during the rash of Sasquatch sightings. "I have a body-rash. Er, I mean it was rash of Panamanian authorities to allow Carnival 2026 to continue in light of a dangerous Sasquatch roaming the City. They were very lucky I was there when the creature was active. I of course offered my extensive Bigfoot knowledge to the Mayor's office, and have let them know my consulting expertise is available for a commensurate fee. Strange, but my phone hasn't rung yet. They must have the wrong number?"  

New Sasquatch Sightings in Panamá City! ¡Nuevo avistamiento de Sasquatch en la ciudad de Panamá!

Mysterious Ravenous Bigfoot Disrupts Dizzy Diners at Iconic Greek Restaurant in Panamá!

Yet another unwelcome Bigfoot incident has hit Panamá City, Panamá, and the mangy fur is flying.

Wild Animal Planet scene at the iconic Parrillada Jimmy Restaurant in the San Francisco district of Panamá City.

Jimmy's Restaurant was packed with ravenous diners as Carnaval Week was ramping up. That night, however, initially worried whispers from patrons near the windows became shouts and alarms as a feral Sasquatch loitered outside, sniffing intently, smacking it's lips, and looking madly at the dishes being served. "That gringo monkey, he really like the aromas coming from the restaurant. We didn't know if it was going to charge in and gobble up all the dinners (not diners) and small yappy service dogs caught-up in the feeding frenzy. I had to order more double-shot sangrias to steady my nerves!", exclaimed one regular patron. 

The Sasquatch was only satisfied once the staff began throwing old fried plantain, yucca, and left-over meat and fish cuts into the parking lot as a bribe to stay out. 

Thanks to fast action by restaurant kitchen-staff and management, discarded food and table scraps were thrown to the hungry beast. Yet after gorging upon these left-overs, the monster wanted more. Only when a medium-rare gourmet "Jimmy Steak" with inserted garlic cloves was thrown to the animal did the hairy beast slink back into the night. It's suspected the stuffed Bigfoot took a long siesta, and then headed towards the big Fish Market on the other side of town. Police are on the look-out and getting close. "But not too close, we're not stupid! Beside, it's Carnaval now. He'll easily slip into the party crowds until he does something offensive and Sasquatchy?"

Easily one of the best steaks in Panama, "The Jimmy" garlic cloves-embedded gourmet steak was sacrificed in order to satiate the savage Bigfoot. "An incredible waste of a great steak.", sadly sniffed one shocked patron.

 

Gratuitous unpaid Endorsement of Parrillada Jimmy Restaurant in Panamá City. Excellent food. Open since 1966, a city icon. The "Jimmy Steak" with savory sauces and tasty Panamanian side dishes is fantastic. If you're ever in Panamá City, try it out!

Erk Holohead, a member of the YETI NOT SETI Institute bored of directors, was nearly comatose. "Yes, I was utterly comatose after eating an excellent dinner at Jimmy's. I still dream about that steak. But drat it all, I never saw the nasty Bigfoot! This rare tropical Sasquatch sighting gives me an good idea, sometimes I have them. We'll set up barbecue traps all over suspected Bigfoot areas. We'll put garlic clove infused marinated Filet Mignon steaks on the grill, drink icy artisanal beers, and have our cameras ready. Heck even if a Bigfoot doesn't appear, we'll still get a food coma!"

Sasquatch Sighting in Panamá City! ¡Sasquatch en Ciudad de Panamá otra vez, carajo!

 Persnickety Bigfoot Spotted in Panamá! Clumsy city ape-man targets Tourista Business! 

After a welcome break, another unwelcome Bigfoot has been spotted in Panamá City, Panamá - - once again spoiling the recovering Avenida Balboa and Marbella neighborhoods. "The beast is operating a shake-down operation on tourist operators.", said a special investigations detective from the national Departamento de Investigaciones Repugnantes y Turistas (DIRT). 

The intended target of the Bigfoot's wrath?

In the first attack, the Bigfoot approached a autobus hop-on hop-off kiosk along Avenida Balboa, filled with tourists waiting for the next bus, awed by the heroic traffic congestion just steps away. To the amazement of tourists and locals, the hairy beast sat down on a bench armed with oily day-old carimañolas wrapped in a fishy-smelling newspaper. The ape-man proceeded to eat his ageing snack while avidly reading the newspaper upside down. Needless to say, the area was cleared of tourists, locals, and pigeons within seconds. When a Hop-On bus rolled up the beast got up and boarded the bus. Monkey mayhem ensued! "When my customers saw this, this, this, this ANIMAL hop on the  bus, they all hopped off - - through windows, the emergency escape, anywhere! I lost all my fares except this stupid big ape. So I drove it over to Calle 50 and told him in no uncertain terms that my bus was now off-line, and time to get out. He hopped out. I mean that literally. He thought it was required to hop in and out of the bus, he isn't too bright. Ese simio era muy tonto!" 

Shake-down Sasquatch dropped off in front of the RIU Plaza hotel on Calle 50. Hotel Reservations plummeted.

Police have released a mysterious letter sent by an unknown person(?) to various tourist outfits a week ago. The writer appears to have limited intelligence and is threatening blackmail. The letter is badly scrawled in red crayon on an empty french-fries box. "It looks like an illiterate human wrote it, except for the grease spots and fur all over it.", said an investigator. The letter's contents were short and to the point: "Der Syrs - U hav 23 21 24 ahoras to to lev mi taasti junc fud in ur basuras or mi goin to be mean to ur bizneseses. U warrned! Sinserly, señor Beeegfut"

The infamous Panamá Bigfoot scanning Avenida Balboa, plotting his next catastrophic caper?

 The beast's photo was caught by a shocked Condo Manager using the building's stairs. The ape-man fled before the police could arrive on the scene, as did the condo manager - he gave his resignation immediately after the sighting. "This job ain't worth running into monos malolientes like that one!". 

Erk Holohead, a member of the YETI NOT SETI bored of directors, visited Panamá during the latest Sasquatch attack. "I'm shocked some of these Bigfoots manage to find a way down from the USA and Canada to PTY. Panamá needs to tighten up restrictions on their Panama Relocation programs. Amongst all those North American retirees coming to the country, it's way too easy right now for an anti-social Bigfoot with evil designs on the tourist industry to blend-in and even qualify for the Pensionando Program! Call me a snob but the program should be revised to apply to homo-sapiens-sapiens only, if you ask me, not gigantopithecus-revultas. 

Perilous Panama Bigfoot Sighting at Avenida Balboa!

 Aromatically Formidable Sasquatch Ruins Sunday Outings for Local Panamanian Denizens! 

Sunday morning is usually the only time of the week when frazzled residents of Panama City, Panamá can enjoy strolling and riding bicycles on Avenida Balboa without risking certain death from a never ending procession of cars, taxis, buses and renegade raspao carts. But not this Sunday! Thanks to a rare Bigfoot sighting in the city, general panic erupted and the entire area was shutdown while the police looked for the hairy and very sweaty creature. "We couldn't find the beast, again." said a local traffic cop. "These creatures are wily and elusive. Entonces, that is our official excuse anyway."

The Bigfoot was spotted along the Cinta Costera by a terrified tourist. "I smelled it before I saw it, unfortunately."

A local caught a foto of the Bigfoot waving at people gaping at him in shock from the Marina. "These poor guys at the Marina were yelling and screaming and pointing at the beast. I think that dumb creature thought they were waving at him, so he waved back! Then he stole my raspao, the furry cad!"

To add insult to olfactory injury, the monster appeared to sniff his armpits "with satisfactin" when he spotted an underarm deodorant advertisement on Avenida Balboa. "That beast definitely doesn't use a deodorant!", exclaimed a traumatized local. Doctors say the poor victim's nose will recover in a few months.

Why has Sasquatch returned to Panama City? Speculation abounds, but it is thought by certain local university professors in Cryptozoology (a popular class with Freshman looking for an easy grade) that as restaurants reopen from the Covid lock-down, the smells of fried foods have attracted the beast to venture down from the hills surrounding the city. 

Erk Holohead, a delinquent member of the YETI NOT SETI Institute bored of directors, has a special theory regarding Sasquatch and Panamá. "Look. It all adds up. Like 2+2=7. This Sasquatch is incognito. The monster probably has warrants for his arrest all over the place for petty food theft, public health violations, and other amazing crimes back in the States. The FBI want to 'talk' to him. A lot of Gringos from the USA and Canada are moving to Boquete, which is also an attractive habitat for hairy ape-men. Some of these gringos may have seen this Bigfoot in North America and could ID him in an instant. That big Ape has gone to the big city to hide out until the coast is clear. Plus, it loves fried foods. Can't resist 'em." 

Past Panamá Bigfoot Sightings Revealed!

Panamá Bigfoot Sightings Revealed by the YETI not SETI Institute.

Panamá Bigfoot Pandemonium - An Unnatural History:

Bigfoot Sightings in the Republic of Panamá.

All The POOP on Panama and Bigfoot!

Posh Panama Perplexed By Bigfoot Sighting!

Perturbed Panamanians Panic, Pout, and Pontificate on Rare Sasquatch Sighting!

Panama City residents are in a uproar, more than usual, over multiple sightings of a reclusive Panama Bigfoot in formerly fancy ocean-front neighborhoods. The hairy ape-beast was spotted haunting Punta Pacifica, Punta Paitilla, and the Cinta Costera neighborhoods, apparently searching for raspao and left-over artisanal pizza slices.

Sasquatch Spoiling Posh Punta Pacifica - Condo Prices Crashed within Minutes!

A local Punta Pacifica realtor was shocked. "I was showing some potential buyers a nice condo unit in Bahia Lotte Grande, the building formerly known as the Frump International Hotel & Tower. I had those buyers hook, line, and sinker. Cash sale! But it all turned into a real stinker once they saw that ugly sasquatch thingy loitering around the main entrance plaza. People were astounded! I had to discount that unit 25% to get the deal done. I'm going to write a book on this, called 'The art of the Bigfoot deal'."

Bigfoot caught Gazing at the Cinta Costera. 

The Cinta Costera is normally full of happy fashionably jaded joggers, willful walkers, scattered students and toasty tourists. These people move much faster than the traffic on nearby Avenida Balboa. But not today. Once word spread of a Bigfoot sighting the place emptied out within minutes. Sanitation experts closed the formerly scenic pathway for hours while checking for any bio-hazard souvenirs the beast may have left behind.

Panama Sasquatch Sours Punta Paitilla.

Punta Paitilla was not spared from the Sasquatch's big Panama adventure. Sightings brought street traffic to a virtual standstill, but no one in the area could tell the difference.

Bigfoot Saunters Past Club Union. Membership Plummets. Keep Walking Bigfoot!

The classy Club Union in Punta Paitilla received a hairy hit from the Panama Bigfoot incursion. After the beastie was spotted sauntering by the exclusive Club membership cancellations were rumored to have tripled, though management is not commenting.

Erk Holohead, a dues paying bored of directors member of the YETI not SETI Institute in bone-dry Yuba City, California, was paranoid about Panama. "I'm paranoid! There have been a diaper RASH of puzzling Panama Bigfoot sightings in recent years, but no one is taking action! No one is talking about it! Well, except for the 25 independent candidates running from the President of Panama in 2019, but no one listens to them anyway."

This brave blog has been tracking Bigfoot activities in Panama for years. The evidence is clear, something pernicious is happening in Panama, and positively involves a nasty ape-man with poor public hygiene.

Sasquatch is a Panama Party Animal...

Too Bad this BigFoot binger can't Tell Time!

Early morning sighting of Panama Bigfoot.

A stranded tourist from Patagonia caught this amazing photo of a Bigfoot loitering in a nightclub district in Panama City, Panamá. 

"The beast looked like he was ready to party... But it was only 10 en la mañana, everything was shut down. It almost looked like this hairy animal was bar-hopping, but all the bars were closed."

"Either the creature was practicing nothing or he was muy estúpido! The Sasquatch can't tell time, for sure. I bet it can't dance reggaetón either."

"Divertido, ¿no? Y esta criatura apestosa parece ser tan inteligente como un coco."

Seconds later, the Panama Party Bigfoot ran away towards Avenida Central, chased by a feral pack of ferocious miniature toy poodles. Panama police are alert and on the case, "This incident requires many, many, many, mucho, mucho visits to the local nightclubs for further investigation", said the city crypto-animal control officer, "mucho!".