Panic in Portugal! Bigfoot Sightings!

 Pesky Portuguese Sasquatches Spotted in Lisbon and Sintra! 

Things are not idyllic in the Iberian Peninsula. More Bigfoot sightings are causing consternation and confusion in Portugal.

Tourists, Statues, and Pigeon alike were totally amazed at seeing the rare North American Bigfoot prowling around the Castelo de São Jorge.

There have been a series of unwelcome incidents in Spain involving nasty Bigfoots. Now Portugal is reeling under the impact of these smelly invasive beasts! The national health minister sent out a 3 AM text to all citizens, warning them not to feed or molest these Ape-Men in any way, fashion or form. "These animals are dumb and dangerous and carry enough fleas and ticks to infect a forest!"

Uninvited visitor to the Palacio de Pena in Sintra.

Day trippers to the Palacio de Pena originally thought the animal was part of the tour, until it started to turn trash bins over looking for scrapes of left-over fried pork testicles. "That's Túbaros for you Anglos who can't even speak your own language!", sniffed a casual visitor from the far north of Portugal. "We wouldn't put up long with these wild beasts where I live, unless they are served sautéed and well-done!"  

Yeti Not SETI Dupe, that is HERO, Divot Looney found himself trapped by a menacing Sasquatch yet again. This time in the Palacio de Pena. Divot is recovering in Yuba City California with a few cases of inexpensive Port the Institute provided to pay him off.

Fearing an international incident, the Spanish Minister of Foreign Affairs sent an extremely apologetic and secret diplomatic note to the Portuguese Ambassador Ambassador to España. Part of the official communication was released via the usual source of leaks... "Su Majestad envía sus pesares con respecto a las noticias que escuchamos de la infestación de Sasquatch que ahora afecta a su encantador país, aunque es mucho más pequeño que España. ¿Lamentamos que algunos Sasquatches españoles hayan cruzado a Portugal? ¡Diablos no! ¡Tómalos a todos y tíralos al océano Atlántico! Que tengas un día maravilloso."

BigFoot Bakes Alaska!

 Sasquatch Sighting in Hoomah Alaska! Icy Straight Point Avoided By Cruise Ships!

A rare Alaskan Bigfoot has been spotted ruminating the rusty, err rustic, Alaskan village of Hoonah, located somewhere in the Icy Straight Point region. Panicked tourists and locals alike quickly scurried to several large visiting cruise ships and hurriedly sailed away from the mysteriously remote island as authorities declared a Sasquatch emergency. 

An elusive Alaskan Bigfoot spotted lurking under a village pier, peering into the wine-dark sea. 

"It was ghastly!", exclaimed a recovering entertainment director from the nearby cruise ship Bedlam Of The Seas, "The hairy monster came out of the mountains near the Zippy-Line thingy, charged into a souvenir shop, and scooped up any packages of Salmon Jerky he could find... he gobbled them down plastic bags and all. The aroma was intense... from the beast not the jerky. We had to offer emergency 2-for-1 Rum & Tequila Drink packages back on board to settle down our shocked guests!"  

Hoonah Alaska has suffered other disasters, but none like a unwelcome Bigfoot Sighting!

Erk Holohead, a member of the bored of directors for the semi-notable YETI NOT SETI Institute located in Icy Yuba City California, was a passenger on the Bedlam Of The Seas Cruise Ship and was inspecting Hoonah for Bigfoot feces in fimo when the Sasquatch struck. "I feel sorry for the locals. After being closed for two years due to the pandemic, they were finally open for business and the tourist dollars were flowing! Then this dumb ape shows up and shuts everything down! I hear ex-guvonur Paylen will help bring needed relief supplies to the residents, including binoculars so that folks can see Russia."

Hoonah is famous for a closed salmon cannery, magnificent Alaskan scenery, a monster zipline, salmon specialities, and a huge fire in 1944 which torched much of the original village and priceless Tlingit cultural artifacts. The fire started when two women built a fire underneath a home to smoke salmon. The smoking fire accidently caught some nearby canvas on fire, which sparked an intense inferno and explosions from numerous drums of gasoline the locals had stored underneath their homes. Fire + Gasoline... what could possibly go wrong?  

Córdoba Crumbles Under Bigfoot Onslaught!

 Another Rude Sasquatch Sighting in Spain! Córdoba Crushed. 

Following a sorry string of Sasquatch sightings in Southern Spain, a Bigfoot beast has once again been spotted, this time in Córdoba.

Sasquatch Sighted! Tourists were thrilled and amazed. The City Sanitation Squad, not so much.  

"We think the creature came from the Parque Natural Sierra de Hornachuelos", said a local Professor of Crypto-Simian Studies at the University de Córdoba, "It must have been attracted by left-over chicharrón fermenting in garbage bins." City authorities hope the beast departs soon, "Let it go to Lisbon!", pleaded a desperate tourist official.  

The Bigfoot was only in town a day, then mysteriously departed.

"Please don't let this get out into the press!", pleaded the Temporary Department Director for  SVMFTW, officially named Separating Visitors Money From Their Wallets. "Córdoba has many famous facts! Did you know Córdoba is the place of birth of the grand Roman philosopher Seneca? Or that Seneca was a Bigfoot? Did you know that our summer temperatures are hotter than hell - - wait don't print that. Or that near Córdoba are the world’s largest olive plantations and empty wine bottles? Or that Córdoba has the prettiest women in Spain, even the world? But now, we are in danger of being known as the city with the ugliest Bigfoots!?"

Sasquatch Savage Slaps Southern Spain!

 Andalucía in Agony! Bigfoot Spanish Sightings Continue! Ape-Man Hunt Intensifies.

Nasty Bigfoot spotted soiling Figiliana, Málaga, Spain. 

Spanish Bigfoot sightings continue as a bigfoot beastie makes its way across southern Spain, seeding panic and disgust as it goes. The formerly touristic town of Figiliana became Sasquatch's next victim after a vivacious sighting in Barcelona. Figiliana had been voted the 'prettiest village in Andalucía' by the Spanish tourism authority. This valuable classification is now under emergency review and may be altered due to the damage and 'smelly souvenirs' left by the hairy animal. "That diabolical monkey doesn't understand the necessity of indoor plumbing in our modern age!", said the owner of a closed tourist shop, "Our beautiful white-washed walls are no longer beautiful nor white-washed. It will take weeks to clean up the town!"

El Mercado de San Francisco: Jaén was not spared a Sasquatch Shopping Spree. 

The same bigfoot was spotted sauntering through El Mercado de San Francisco, Jaén. Local shoppers emptied the shopping arcade within minutes of the beast being spotted. "He had his way with the fried tapas in the food stalls.", said a shocked stall operator, "The monster had a unnatural taste for day old Puntillitas. Rancid fried small squid was a delicacy for that idiot! It must have a stomach made of iron. The devil!". 

Shocking Sasquatch Sighting at The Alhambra!

Bigfoots have been sighted at iconic wonders of the world, but never in Southern Spain. Until Now. The hairy animal was spotted lurking around the perimeter of the famous Alhambra palace in Granada, Andalucía. Eyewitness reports said security guards and palace staff were oblivious to the presence of the beast, but that a yappy ankle biting dog which happened to be in the area scared him off. "These Bigfoots don't like dogs, especially annoying little ones!", said Dr. Blinng from the YETI Not SETI Institute in Iberic Yuba City, California. Dr. Blinng had reportedly visited Spain while attempting to attending a prestigious Cryptozoological Conference in Ibiza.  "What an awesome Crypto conference! I went to the wrong Crypto conference by accident, but I didn't care! The organizers chose Ibiza because it's the most awesome place to party in the world. Lunatic 24-hour night clubs, crazy-wild pool parties, incredible!  I was so impressed I invested the Institute's Sovereign Wealth fund 100% into crypto currency. Those Dogecoins dudes know how to party!"

Barça Bigfoot Cauterizes Catalunya!

Pànic a la ciutat! Barcelona Bigfoot Spotted in Barcelona!

A gaudi Bigfoot creeping past a Gaudi Building in Barcelona. 

Mobs of drunken Barcelonès in Catalan crowded the streets and drank profusely after rumors of a savage Sasquatch roaming the city streets swept the metropolitan area. "To be honest, it looked sort of like another day in Barcelona", said an expat resident, "But this time it was different... this time there was a hairy ape-man stealing rancid fried greixons from food carts! I saw the thief myself. Actually, I smelled him first - - from a block away". 

Tourists and Locals alike were in shock at the Sasquatch sighting. 

Local authorities were quick to blame the national government. "This beast is obviously an unwanted import from Espanya. We Catalans would never harbor such a foul animal in our midst!", proclaimed a local Alcalde. An official from the Basque Region was quick to respond, and also blame the national government - - "Don't blame us Basques! That dumb ape-man is not a Basajaun. Basajuans are much more clever and intelligent, because they are Euskara!" For good measure, the national government blamed the national government. 

This amazing blog has tracked other amazing Sasquatch sightings in Spain, all of them amazing:

http://bigfootwatchnews.blogspot.com/2011/05/spanish-sasquatch-sighting.html

http://bigfootwatchnews.blogspot.com/2009/08/bilbao-bigfoot-binges-on-modern-art-at.html

http://bigfootwatchnews.blogspot.com/2009/07/bilbao-bigfoot-attacked-by-giant.html

http://bigfootwatchnews.blogspot.com/2009/07/sasquatch-in-spain.html

Que Dios tenga piedad de España.