Bigfoot Slaps Seal Senseless!

Exclusive: Big Sur Bigfoot knocks Elephant Seal Languid with Odoriferous Olfactory Onslaught!

A stunned professional nature photograher from Martinez, California took this amazing live-action shot of a rare Big Sur Bigfoot stupifying a local elephant seal named "Bubbles" at Año Nuevo State Park, California. "Look, I was taking photos of these big fat lazy beasts (the seals, not the tourists), and I had this great shot of this one seal - - I mean National Geographic cover stuff, baby! Kaa-ching! Man, I could see the dollar signs floating over the animal's head! Then suddenly, out of nowhere, this smelly monkey menace ape-man ran by and the poor seal passed out with fright! Totally wrecked my shot! My lens cap melted too. Now I have to salvage what I can and try selling this lousy photo on Ebay - - I hear there are crazy people out there who will pay $3,000 for this sort of garbage."

Sasquatch harassing California Elephant Seal.

Dazed California Elephant Seal confronts Big Sur Sasquatch in amazingly annoying Animal Planet footage.

Año Nuevo Park rangers confirm that "Bubbles" has been in a sullen state of shock ever since the sorry Sasquatch encounter. 


Dr. Karl Blinng, Director of the peculiar YETI not SETI Institute in agrarian Yuba City, California, was optimistically panicked. "Darn it! Where is I.T. when you need them! I need my computer fixed now so I can buy that precious photo on Ebay. I must have it. $3,000 is a steal. That dumb photographer has no idea of the true value of that picture, the fool. This photo proves my amazing theory confirming an evolutionary link between Elephants, Seals, Sasquatches and rancid sea water. I must get this stupid computer fixed... I wonder if this has something to do with all those websites my I.T. guy said I should never visit again?"

Pismo Beach Raises BigFoot Stink!

Sandy Sasquatch Scares Surfers Silly - -  Pismo Beach Evacuated!
Unsuspecting Pismo Beach beachgoers were shocked by a hairy Big Sur Sasquatch romping in the waves this week. Days after the beach was reopened to the public, people are still afraid to return. 

City officials deny rumors that the beach sand is permanently damaged by the strange appearance of an aromatic Gigantopithicus Robustus Revoltus. "That glowing, crawling yellow and green slime on the beach is perfectly natural." said Pismo Beach junior superintendent for parks and wreckreation, "and those dumb rumors that small poodles and corndogs have been missing since the Sasquatch beach blitz are just that, silly rumors! By the way, has anyone seen my pet shihtzu? It's name is Princess Lea?"


"It was way bad karma, dude", said an eyewitness surfer who was at the scene, "that Bigfoot dude had gnarly body odor.... nasty vibes, man. Like, take a bath sometime, apeman?".


Dr. Karl Blinng, Director of the prestigious YETI not SETI Institute in Yuba City, California, was perplexed. "I'm conflicted, and I'm perplexing.", he said. "It is very perplexable that a Bigfoot attacks Pismo Beach, why, for the clams? I'm investigating this incident more closely... OK yeah sure, the institute is short of funds right now, so I'll just hit up those Discovery Channel chumps for some more money... they're total suckers for this kind of stuff! Ah, I mean, they take my Bigfoot research very seriously and help fund my important work in this field. I'm also in the mood to eat some oysters...."