YETI Attack at Crater Lake!

Wild Yeti Spoils Tourist View of Oregon's Crater Lake - - Eyewitness Report!

Sasquatch throwing snowballs at terrorized Crater Lake tourists.

A tour bus stuffed with Fraternal Order of the Royal Gerbil Lodge members from Reno, Nevada was attacked by a "wild and vicious" Yeti over the Fourth of July weekend when they stopped at Oregon's Crater Lake en route to a nearby Progressive Slot Machine Indian Casino. "Yeah, our tour leader said we should get some fresh air before hitting the card tables... I needed a smoke break any-who. He said we'd be impressed by that Crater Lake place, it's a big round hole in the ground filled with water. Well, for once he sure turned out right that time! That Yeti-beast looked worse than any abominable snowman picture I ever saw.... and his teeth... I had no idea teeth could be that shade of yellow." said one shaken Gerbil Lodge member. According to several victims, the manic YETI screeched and threw snowballs at the group ("He's a right hander, 105 mph I think") and wouldn't leave until a quick thinking lodge member threw him a bigfoot ale and a bag of cheezz puffs.

Dr. Karl Blinng, Director of the Yeti not Seti Institute in Yuba City, California, was licking his chops. "Once again there is a sighting of a YETI in North America... just as my inspired and unique theory, the theory I thought of and for which only I can take credit for, predicted! I'll pay $3,000 for each YETI snowball those brave Gerbil Lodge members can bring me. There must be Yeti DNA in there somewhere. And don't try any more sneaky "melted yeti snowballs" this time... I won't be fooled a second time!"

EXCLUSIVE: YETI FIGHTS GORN in DEATH BATTLE!

Yeti Fight Photos obtained!
YETI and GORN in TITANIC STRUGGLE!

Dr. Blinng has 'astounded' the world yet again. In a hastily called press conference at the Yuba City Holliday Inn's All You Can Eat Buffet Room, Dr. Blinng announced the possession of incredible photos proving the existence not only of Yetis, but also the nasty lizard space race known as the Gorn.

"Oh Yeah! Scoreboard ME over that Yeti faker Dim Wit Chann in Tibet! I have definitive photos of Yeti. And I got a GORN included for the same price! I only paid $3,000 a photo.... what a coup!" gloated Blinng. "In your face, Dim Wit!"

Horac Dorkilife, president of the Philadelphia Star Twreck Captain Kirk versus Gorn fan club, was estatic, "Way cool! This is fantastic! We knew that Gorn were spotted in the Star Twreck Next Generation episode 23 in 1999 and in the Mahrval Comic book series in 2007, but to have real live photos of a real Gorn is more than we could ever have hoped for! I have to go now, Mom says it's time for dinner."

Amazing photo above: 

Gorn: "Snow Monkey-man, I grow weary of the chase and your stench. Come to me.. I will be quick and merciful." The abominable snowman (Yeti) is taunted in a fight-to-the-death struggle with the anti-social Gorn. According to the mysterious photographer who sold the pricey photos to Dr. Blinng, the fight took place "somewhere in the high Himalayas... you wouldn't know it".

Amazing photo right, er above?
Yeti-man about to slam Gorn goon into the snow. "That Yeti guy makes Captain Kirk look a  little whimpy, yeah?", said a press conference attendee, "I mean, Kirk had to cheat and use gun powder, right? This here Yeti just picks up that ugly Gorn and throws him from Tibet to India!"

Learn more about the Gorn and why they make great neighbors!

Worst Fight Scene Ever: Kirk versus Gorn

Wild YETI Discovered in Himalayas!

Famous Yeti Hunter Captures Elusive Beast on Camera !

- - gets seriously whacked for his efforts.

Tibet is in an uproar at dramatic news confirming the existence of a Yeti who throws deadly snowballs at humans. Local villagers found a flattened Yeti hunter buried under feet of snow, apparently knocked senseless by the Yeti-man.

Seconds before the wild Yeti attacked.

Yeti with Gigantic SnowballSnowball Terror - - Yeti with Attitude: an incredibly amazing photograph was taken by the famous Chinese Tibetan Yeti Hunter Dim Wit Chann, just moments before he was squashed like a bug from a glacier sized snowball thrown by the icy beast.

Recovering in hospital, Dim Wit said "The Yeti attack happened so fast. The Yeti beast ran out of the forest, looked at my camera, growled and heaved a gigantic snowball right on top of me... it hit like an asteroid. I must have been knocked out for hours. He stole my freeze-dried water supply too!"

Dr. Blinng, Director of the YETI not SETI Institute in Yuba City California, was jealously congratulatory. "(Yawn) My semi-sincere congratulations to Mr. Chann on his sort-of-incredible discovery. Of course, I knew Yetis roam the Himalayas.... duh?!? I am the world's expert on these things after all, just ask me. I am convinced Yeti are here in North America as well, such is my scientific greatness. Yeti are close relatives of Sasquatch - - both species have touchy personalities and stink to high heaven. They are like in-laws, these abominable snowman types, you know? Heck, my mother in-law looks like a Yeti!"

Chinese officials are silent on this politically sensitive issue. "Of course, the government wants to keep things quiet." said a local Yak Yogurt franchise owner, "Think about it; Yeti, Snow, Attack, Snowball... not only are these great search terms for search engines, but they are political dynamite if put into the wrong hands!"