London Bigfoot Strikes Again!

Blimey! London Bigfoot Infestation Continues! Millions of Minions Mortified!

Londoners have been irritably inconvenienced by another sleuthy Bigfoot sighting. Sasquatch sightings continue in Central London and even (God Save The King) at Windsor Castle!

Sasquatch caught wondering around Trafalgar Square. Nelson was not amused.

Trafalgar Square Sighting!

It was a lovely damp, cold, drizzly English Sunday morning. Trafalgar Square was filled with distracted student groups making day trips, Pigeons eating left-over food in trash bins, Pigeons dive-bombing startled tourists, polite bums sleeping rough around the area, mediocre coffee shops, and more. Then a Bigfoot showed up. At first no one gave the ape-man any mind, but when the beast started chasing pigeons away from the bins so he could have his own Sunday brunch the crowd became alarmed and rushed pell-mell into the National Gallery seeking safety. In desperation, they were forced to wonder aimlessly and look at old paintings of fox hunts, earls, and dukes until the all-clear signal was given. Pigeons hate Sasquatches, these rats with wings fled the Trafalgar Square area and didn't dare return for three days. Locals want the Sasquatch to come back! 

Bigfoot and Mr. Bean spotted quite near Windsor Castle!

Sasquatch Sighting at Windsor Castle!

In a serious security breach a Bigfoot was spotted not only in the village of Windsor but inside the actual Castle complex! Fortunately the Royal Family was not at Windsor though some intruders who looked like Prince Andrew and HRH Meghan were seen trying to sneak into the Castle grounds. Officials are not talking. Whispers of a crypto-beast cover-up are rampant.  

Shocked tourist captures the horrific moment an odorous Bigfoot sauntered by a main gate at Windsor Castle.

Pall Mall Sighting! Horse Guards and Ghurkas Gobsmacked!

A bystander caught the back of the London Bigfoot's head during the parade. "I was going to tell him to move and not spoil my shot, but self-preservation told me otherwise!"

Bystanders were shocked when the Sasquatch appeared at a Horse Guards Parade, which also featured a Fighting Battalion of Gurkhas. The sudden arrival of the Bigfoot sparked a predictable equine pandemonium. With their keen sense of smell Horses hate Sasquatches. The parade quickly became a shambles as the horses were speedily sent off to their stables to recover. The plucky Ghurkas regiment became animated and excited, mistaking the hairy simian for a YETI. Parade formation was disrupted! Ghurkas get a little homesick at times. A good 'ol hairy YETI sighting from back home always gets their spirits up.     

British officials are mum on the sightings. Erk Holohead, a member of the bored of directors of the YETI not SETI Institute, which is conveniently located nearby a day-old bangers and mash joint in Yuba City, California, was not mum. "I'll not stay mum about these incredible London Bigfoot sightings. I'll stay mute! Yes, I've been paid off for my silence, along with a blackmail threat to reveal certain grey-area financial dealings to the IRS if I don't keep quiet. But I will say this about that... these Bigfoot sightings in London aren't over, except for Mayfair... it's way too posh for Sasquatches."

London Thrown for a Loop by Bigfoot Train Spotter!

Scary Sasquatch Observed at St. Pancras and Victoria! Harrods Hectic from Ape Man Visit!

Multiple eyewitness sightings and camera footage indicate a mangy North American Sasquatch has descended upon London to wreak rotten wrack and ruin. "All superficial resemblances to the current President of the United States are not valid. We've spotted a real-life bonafide Bigfoot in Central London! The animal can apparently travel on trains and the Tube. It has an Oyster Card! Rigorous precautions are being taken. We urge the general public to NOT PANIC whilst this simian emergency is ongoing. We'll let you know when it's time to panic.", said the distracted Metropolitan Police Commissar Bark Wrufley. 

Mysterious Sasquatch seen at Victoria Station! It is suspected the beast took a local commuter train to Eastbourne, third class.

Harrods Under Siege!

Not only does this Bigfoot travel on trains, it apparently 'shops' at luxury department stores! Harrods became the target of the Sasquatch when it roamed through the massive 25 square-mile store and became utterly lost. "The Monkey Man carries neither cash or credit cards, he is not our normal customer profile. He eagerly raided the Food Halls and ran out with £500 worth of Foie Gras & Truffles tins. Good taste on that one. Our security team could never catch him. We trailed the apeman by his distinctly dank and unpleasant odors until we hit the 50 square-mile Perfume Halls... our sense of smell was completely overwhelmed by the heavy onslaught of £1,000 fragrances... one of our security team passed out. We lost the hairy devil at that point. I still can't smell right!", exclaimed a Harrods store detective. 

Security Camera spots the dazed and bewildered Bigfoot wondering aimlessly about Harrods, desperately attempting to escape the multiple 500 square-miles of Women's Shoes Floors.

Window-Shopping Sasquatch near Harrod's on Brompton Road.

Escape to Paris?

London authorities are baffled regarding the current whereabouts of the creature. It is feared the beast will strike again. While a photo from a digusted Frenchman shows the Bigfoot apparently on the Chunnel Train headed to Paris from St. Pancras, nothing is being taken for granted. "This beast knows how to use the Tube, take trains from Victoria Station, and shop at Harrod's. Yet this Sasquatch simian has absolutely no concept of personal hygiene! I fear it will return to haunt us. It may be here now!" 

The disgusted Frenchman on the Chunnel Train had just a few words to say on the monkey matter: "Bleu sacré! Ces Anglais sournois causent encore plus de problèmes! Restez simplement hors de l'Union européenne, comme vous le souhaitez!"

Sasquatch marauding in Paris next? 

Erk Holohead, a member of the YETI Not SETI Bored of Directors, passed a warning on to Londoners. "I'm afraid England has been the scene of multiple Sasquatch sightings over the years, from Manchester to Mayfair. This Bigfoot is a wile beast with the ability to lay low, survive on old fish & chips, and travel at will. I hear rumors of it lurking around London landmarks. We're not done with him yet!" 

 

Recorded Bigfoot Sightings in England:

 

Queen's Train crosses paths with British BigFoot - -
Sasquatch Security Cover-up Denied!

 

BigFoot spotted again in central Manchester, sparks frantic ape-man-hunt by police.

 

Manchester Man-Ape Mystery: UK Sasquatch Spotted and on the Loose in England! Mancunians Gobsmacked by Hairy Intruder in Central Manchester...

Royal BigFoot Mess?

Queen's Train crosses paths with British BigFoot - -
Sasquatch Security Cover-up Denied!

The Royal Person Proctection Service are mum about a run-in between HRM Queen Elizabeth II and a "smelly and foul" British BigFoot. Rumours concerning odiferous threats to her royal olfactory senses have been whirling around London ever since her Majesty took a train (First Class, not to worry) to the royal Sandringham Estate in England for Christmas.

Alarming photos prove a Sasquatch with horrible personal hygiene haunted the greater London area train system during the Queen's trip. Did their paths cross?! Government security services are not talking.

The Elusive East End Sasquatch - Is This It?

BigFoot Spotted at Liverpool Street Station London!  This Amazing photo of a bungling British BigFoot caught by a surprised commuter coming out of London's Liverpool Street Tube Station - - "Blimey! You could smell 'em before you could see 'em! He needs a bath, he does!"

London Bigfoot spotted at Liverpool Station.

BigFoot Infiltrates Liverpool Street Station!  An amazing photo of British BigFoot lurking around Liverpool Street Train Station. Eyewitness Erk Holohed was highly alarmed; "Right, it's been a long business day, yeah? It's time to relax, have a smart double gin and tonic, read FT and find vulnerable widow and orphan stocks to ruthlessly short... but sadly, this odious animal stumbles into the station smelling like 4 week old rubbish, stenches up the place and causes panic. The hairy beast's fumes even set off a fire alarm! The beast boarded a train to Norfolk, the poor blighters."

Dr. Karl Blinng, Director of the famous YETI not SETI Institute in Yuba City, California, was vindicated. "Hah!, I warned Buckingham Palace about dangerous Sasquatch UK train spotters. I offered my services for a reasonable consulting fee (cash please, unmarked bills, no Euros). I could have tracked down these bloody BigFoots roaming Albion, but did they listen? No! Instead, they contact the FBI and tell them I'm mentally deranged, a scheming quack, and a fraud!
I am shocked! Buckingham Palace got it all wrong, I'm not deranged, what fools!"