Bigfoot Sighting near Panamá City! More Pánico in Panamá!

Tropical Terror Titillates Taboga - - Island Paradise Punctured by Sasquatch Appearance!

The formerly peaceful, slow-placed "Island of Flowers" offshore from Panama City has become the "island of weeds" after an aromatic Sasquatch was spotted roaming the streets of Isla Taboga during the normally sleepy, mellow, and placid middle of the week.

Terrified Taboga Tourists gaping at waving Sasquatch.

Lulu Lomax, an appalled touristic Aggie day-tripping eyewitness, couldn't believe her eyes. "I couldn't believe my eyes! Nor my brain either! Here we were enjoying a quiet stroll down a quiet street in Taboga, when a hairy apeman jumped in front of us and started waving like a maniac! Oh sure, it looked friendly enough for an attitude adjusted ape-monster, but it wanted our fried yucca chips. Making unhealthy food choices combined with bad hygiene.... that Sasquatch suffers from high cholesterol levels and evil body odor, poor brute."

Another Aggie visitor, Keeeener Kmesz, was calm but curious.... "I'd heard about Sasquatches from my family up in Montana. There's even an ancient rumor that one of my great-great-great-grandmothers was part Sasquatch. But I looked down upon such drivel, and never believed these crypto-creatures could exist, until today. I've seen the furry beast with my own eyes! I gonna change my major to biomedical crypto-zoololgy... this is cool, I think? I hope it pays? Oh, make sure the 'K' is silent in my last name when you write your world-scoop news story."

Only mad dogs and bigfoots go out in the mid-day sun. 

The siesta hour mean streets of Taboga quickly emptied of formerly relaxed people, indifferent dogs, calm cats, and confused chickens as word spread of the amazingly sanguine Sasquatch Sighting.

Safety First? Sasquatch ignoring "PELIGRO WARNING: BIGFOOTS" signage at Restinga Beach. 

Erk Holohed, a member of the YETI NOT SETI Institute, which is dedicated to the study of crypto-zoological creatures and the fleecing of unsuspecting Institutional investors, was not amused. "I'm not amused. This Bigfoot island attack hit too close to home. I was on Isla Taboga that same day, conducting an important experiment measuring the cumulative effects Cerveza Panamá, Ceviche, Patacones, Cerveza Panamá, and Seco have on the human brain. All paid for by a Federal Government research grant! Suckers. But that ape-beast almost ruined my experiment! Good thing I didn't include fried yucca chips in the dosage scheme."

Historical Bigfoot Sightings in Panamá:

• Wild Bigfoot Spotted on Taboga Island in Panama! 
• Panama Jungle Bigfoot Spotted in Darién Gap!
• BigFoot Causes Panic in Tropical Paradise!
• Jar Jar Bynx Found Dead in Panama.

Panama Island Bigfoot Sighting!

Wild Bigfoot Spotted on Taboga Island in Panama! Locals in Shock.

Surf, Sand and Sasquatch?!

The beautiful tropical island of Isla Taboga in Panama was shaken, not stirred, by an odoriferous rogue Bigfoot, ruining New Years Eve celebrations for thousands. A horrified local saw it all... "That mala bestia roamed the village stealing  fried plantains and papas fritas - - the apeman really liked rancid old patacones the best, like a demented loco. The monkey-man scared our snoozing dogs, chillin' chickens, and serene cats nearly to death! Taboga is a laid back kind of place, ¿sabes?, we don't get this kind of 'excitement' around here."

Sorry Sasquatch caught roaming a formerly swanky area of Isla Taboga. Distress "For  Sale" signs sprouted like weeds after the hairy BigFoot was spotted.

The Autoridad de Tourismo Panamá issued a statement that while BigFoots have been seen in Panama before, there was no need for tourists to panic and change vacation plans to scenic North Korea. 

A senior tourist official, off the record, said "Esto como una gran oportunidad para alentar a Sasquatch Hunter turismo en Panamá. Vamos a pedir a los tontos del canal Animal Planet Hunters Bigfoot aquí. Pasarán un montón de dinero! Son un grupo de payasos. Oye, no me estás citando ¿verdad?".*

*Translation: "The Animal Planet BigFoot Hunters are our very best friends, and we encourage these intelligent, brave Sasquatch (and need I add well-funded) hunters to come to Panama and spend lots of money, and finally  find a Sasquatch. Hello! Ah, did I mention they can spend lots of money here too?"

BigFoot Causes Panic in Tropical Paradise!

Isla Taboga Terrified as Rogue Sasquatch Sighted - -  "It came from the sea!"

Erk Holohead, a panicked Taboga tourist, caught this amazing photo of a wild Bigfoot emerging from the Pacific Ocean during high-tide. "I was sitting on a beach veranda with 99.9% of my brain cells shut down (normally I have only 99.8% on extended leave), enjoying the ocean breeze... the beautiful view... a case of Panama Beer... but then I spotted a trail of bubbles belching up from the ocean surface and heading towards shore, then suddenly thousands of crazy fish leaped straight into the air trying to escape something very nasty under the waves. I thought it was a killer shark or North Korean submarine, but then this ugly, rancid monkey beast emerged from the surf, wiping seaweed, clam shells and old Panama Beer bottle caps off its fur! The ape-man scaled the beach wall, jumped over some sleeping dogs and ran away. Luckily my Panama beer supplies helped cushion the shock. I'm going to have to stay here another month to recover from this."

A longtime Taboga island resident was shocked to see this "Sea Sasquatch" strolling Restinga Beach during low tide. "It was just another pacífico y tranquilo day on the island. I was at the beach looking for Pizzaro's buried Inca treasure and North Korean submarine defectors, then this bestia simios walks right past me... it was torture, the fragrancia horrible of this filthy beast almost killed me!"

This amazing Bigfoot sighting has resulted in a huge spike in extended hotel bookings from Sasquatch Anthropologists across the world in Taboga Island and Panama City. Local Taboga shop owners say the invasion of Bigfoot hunters is bad for business. "These scientists are cheap spenders and throw goofy 'missing-link' parties.", said the town mayor.

"At last I can pretend to do field work on a nice tropical island with room service, chilled adult beverages, and veg-out using my federal grant bailout money under the cover of academic research. I'm gonna 'work' here for months, it'll be a great vacation!" said Briian Lerkey, Ph.D. an expert in Pseudo-Sasquatchology from Rice University in Texas. "Ah, you won't print that, right?".