BigFoot Romps Through California State Capitol!

Sasquatch Meets Governator. State Police Not Amused....

Easily entertained but shell-shocked tourists claimed a 'sour smelling' Sasquatch ran past the Capitol security checkpoint but then stopped dead in his tracks when he saw the Caulyfornia Governator, Aunold Alios Schwarzenegger in a video just inside the building... 
"The monkey-beast was mesmerized, like a kid watching TV.", said an ice cube lobbyist. "The ape-man thought Aunould was inside the flat-screen... he  jumped up and down yelling 'koooan! koooan!', then he ran down the hall chased by a wild-eyed state trooper. Man, you should have seen the fleas on that guy.... and on the Sasquatch too!"

Caught by state security camera... the BigFoot intruder runs past the Governator's office. "He looked scared silly" said a silly state assemblyman, who should know what silly is.

 

Sasquatch runs away: Chased by Capitol security, BigFoot bolted outside in panic through a 'No Exit' side-door, setting off exit alarms and triggering a massive ape-man hunt on the Capitol grounds..... "That fur-bag saw a large bear in front of Arnie's office and thought it was going to eat him. He flipped-out... I mean he lost it. He screamed like a little girl and ran away. What a wus!"

Sasquatch evades capture attempt! Escaping the Capitol building, the wiley BigFoot evaded a state police dragnet on the Capitol grounds and ran off in the direction of the Caulifornya Leek of Citiez. No permanent damage was done by the blundering Bigfoot,  but several indoor air quality monitors 'went off the charts' during the ape-man invasion. Experts say it will take weeks to fumigate the building.

Why did a wild BigFoot barge into the California State Capitol in Sacramento? Experts are clueless, again. "BigFoots hold Governator Aunold in high regard and treat him as a cult hero. We saw this fenonermone... phenomecon... ahhh... this stuff happen last year in Livermore" said the BigFoot Investigations Agency in Fresno, California. "These beasts think "Conan The Barbarian" is a documentary. Sasquatches can't read or write, but they know fine cinema when they see it. Word on the street is that they like "Predator" too. They don't like romantic comedies."

Smelly Top Secret Sasquatch Security Snafu!

Breaking News: "Blithering" BigFoot Spotted at Top Secret National Laboratory - - Sparks Sasquatch Security Search!

Just days after publicity-seekers crashed a White House Dinner, an "unwashed" Bigfoot has barged into a high security national R&D complex in Livermore, California. A local Livermoron claims the furry creature never saw the "really top-super-secret ultra-classified need-to-know, if-I-tell-you-I-have-to-kill-you stuff... like the flying saucer technologies, the time-travel building or the Roswell Aliens stacked like cork wood and stored in a deep-freeze.... hey.... I never talked... you got it?!"

Serious Sasquatch Security Breakdown at Lawrence Livermore National Laboratory.

Lost Wente Winery tourists poking around the Laboratory's Top Secret Visitors Center (open 10 to 4, free admission) came face-to-face with the hairy apeman; "I was shocked, that ferocious fur-ball needs major dental work.", said eyewitness Patrizia Halversump, "When that crude creature spotted a photo of Governor Aunold Schwarzenegger touring the LLNL National Ignition Center, he went nuts. The BigFoot jumped up and down yelling 'Coooo-an! Coooo-an!' You could see nasty fleas jumping off his fur, what a perfectly disgusting animal!"

The Fresno BigFoot Investigations (FBI) agency has figured out the monkey-man's motives... "This Sasquatch was not a spy, nyet, ahhh, I mean nooooooo... that BigFoot was looking for Conan the Barbarian".

"OK, yeah sure, we lost time solving this mystery. We thought the Apeman was saying "Cohen the Barbarian", an honest mistake, OK? Dr. Blinng at the Yeti not Seti Institute cracked the case after we paid him 34 dollars and 28 cents cash up-front... a stiff price, but it was worth it."

Livermore Police are stumped, "Why does this stupid Sasquatch keep coming back here? What did we ever do to that mangy primate?"

Looking for Arnold? LLNL Sasquatch Sighting.

"Looking for Aunold."

Bigfoot Trashes Research Laboratory!