Sasquatch likes Soda at Soft Drink Museum!

"It's The Real THING!" - - - 
Terrified sugar-high Coke ® tourists scream at Coca Cola ® Bigfoot in Atlanta!

Was the founder of Coca Cola ® a Bigfoot? Clues abound!

Bigfoot and suspected Sasquatch John Pemberton, Founder of Coca Cola ®.

A nastily surprised tourist from Nashville caught this amazing photo of a Bigfoot posing with the founder of Coca Cola ®, "I was looking foward to the Coca Cola Museum ® tour, when this gawd-awful smelly monkeyman jumped right into my shot.... he melted my lense! All I could do then was just drink tons of Coca Cola Classic ® and watch Coke ® commercials in Bulgarian."

Was John Pemberton a Bigfoot!? You decide.
"Based upon this incredible photo, and the fact that Pemberton was lunatic enough to include cocaine extracts with enough refined sugar to coat the Empire State Building ® in his original formula, I come to the startling conclusion that Mr. Pemberton was a demented Bigfoot. I strongly advise anyone drinking this so-called Coca Cola ® to switch immediately to BigFoot Ale ®." said Erk Holohead, 3rd-rate celebrity quasi-Bigfoot expert.

Bigfoot in Atlanta. Coca Cola Museum attacked!

"Look", said Briian Leerky, Ph.D., famous Sasquatchologist at Rice University ® in Houston ®, "In the back of my mind, what I was hoping to find, was the real THING. Nasty THINGS like Bigfoots go better with Coke! An age-old mystery has been solved. I'm sorry for Pepsi ® and Doctor Pepper ®, but that's the way the soda can crumples. I can't wait to write my next pseudo-scientific paper, this gig will keep me rolling in brainless government grants for another year."

Dr. Karl Blinng, Ponzi-Scheme award winner and Director of the YETI not SETI Institute of Sasquatchology,  was green with envy. "I can't stand it! I lived in Atlanta Georgia evading a court summons in Yuba City ® ... er, wait.... uh yeah, I has deep into my Sasquatch academic studies at some small university or another, and NEVER ONCE saw a Bigfoot. And now these stupid Ape-men start showing up! I will pay $3,000 for that statue of John Pemberton! How you get it to me is your business. It will go nicely with my $3,000 ancient 'King Tut is really a Bigfoot' antiquities statue I bought cheap from some dopes at a flea market last year .... the fools!"

"Blago" BigFoot Returns!

Hairy Beast Mauls Michigan Avenue  in Chicago

- - Blagosnivich celebrity idiot appearance gone wrong?

Bigfoot Sighted in Chicago.

Chicago is in turmoil, uh, more turmoil than normal, as citizens recover from the shock of seeing a prehistoric Sasquatch roam down Michigan Avenue. Debate is raging, is the creature real or Rod Blagosnivich in a monkey suit? "I saw the Sasquatch", said a local resident, "It looks kinda like Blago, I mean the ape-man's hair was impressively coiffed and massive just like the ex-governor's, and except for all those lice and fleas jumping off his back, he looks just like Blagoo".

Chicago police are not talking. "Hey, we're not talking -- OK with youse morons?" Rumors are rampant that last year's offer to pay off the smelly Sasquatch with a Senate seat didn't work and the obnoxious beast has returned for another pay-off.

Briian Leerky, famous Rice University Sasquatch hunter, said "I bet you a six-pack of Lone Star Beer that the animal that rampaged through Chicago was a real Bigfoot! That Blago character may be a celebrity idiot, but Sasquatches are just plain idiots... they have the IQ of a tree stump. Blago has the IQ of a log... there is a difference!".