Malo BIG Bigfoot Adventure at Costa Maya Mexico!

Sasquatch Spotted at Tourist-Trap Cruise Ship Port in Mexico - Chaos Erupts!

A rare Mexico Bigfoot sighting shocked fleecing locals and liquified cruise ship passengers during a big escape inside the heavily touristified Costa Maya Cruise Ship Port. Mexico Border Patrol officials suspect the beast came from one of the multiple cruise ships which crowd the harbor, and escaped by the same route. "¡Ay, caramba! That hairy ape was a Gringo Bigfoot all right! It snuck into stores and bars, broke touristy merchandise, drank too much touristy tequila. The animal even tried to swim with the touristy dolphins without a ticket. ¡Era una cosa muy mala, y muy maloliente!"

CCTV footage released late in the week clearly shows an unidentified 'suspect' pondering the sight of 3 cruise ships parallel parked at crowded but packed Costa Maya.   

"Every effort is being made to find and remove this unwelcome, and what's worse, unpaid passenger from whichever unlucky cruise ship it has stowed away on. The cruising industry will not tolerate Bigfoots, Stowaways, Covid, or icebergs!" exclaimed a harried spokesman for the Global Association of Unflagged Cruiseships, GAUC. 

Iguana Attack! Sasquatches consider Iguanas as delectable as Tender Chicken, unfried. 

Fueled on stolen Margaritas at a beach-side Cantina, the ferocious beast jumped into a Cage Wrestling Match ready to fight anyone or anything. With a clear sense of self-preservation all Humans quickly vacated the premises, taking their tropical adult beverages with them.
  

Attempting to keep passengers calm and blissfully unaware a stowaway Bigfoot might be on board, a "Safety Drill" was held for all unlucky ships in port. In reality the drills were massive man-hunts, er, ape-hunts on the suspect ships while docked at Costa Maya. The wily creature was not found, leading to speculation it was either well-hidden onboard one of the ships or had run away and purchased a great time-share condo deal in Cancun. 

Experts from Mexico's Crypozoological Institute, El Instituto de Criptozoología Morónica, carefully searched the entire area where the beast was spotted but came up with nothing conclusive. "We found an Iguana who looked a little stressed, but no Sasquatch footprints found." 

Erk Holohead, a bored member of the YETI NOT SETI Institute in Not-Tropical Northern California, was sympathetically indifferent to the Cruise Ship Port of Costa Maya and the Cruise Ship Industry. "Costa Maya is such a charmingly synthetic tourist trap place. Built in a lightly populated region for the sole purpose of pumping dollars out of cruise ships and into the local economy. It works perfectly! That Sasquatch stowaway sighting is hopefully just a one-off incursion. I hear these cunning beasts prefer Cozumel or Cancun. As for the cruise ship industry, this is just one more cruddy challenge faced in 2022... lingering Covid Variants, mysterious CDC guidelines, paranoid port closures, and now another regrettable Bigfoot incident. Things will get better! I mean, how can they possibly get worse?"

Sasquatch Sighting at Yosemite Falls!

 Bigfoot Spotted Near Yosemite Falls! Hairy Creature the "John Muir Sasquatch"?!

A frosted fly-fishing amateur sobered up quick when he came face-to-face with a feral Bigfoot this week in deep snow at the base of Yosemite Falls - - unleashing a torrent of multiple ancient alien astronaut expert theories regarding the Sasquatch's origins and connections to John Muir and Teddy Roosevelt. 

The wretched Yosemite fly-fisherman was having bad luck that day. "I wasn't getting a bite. What with the lakes and streams frozen over, my precious flies were just bouncing around on the ice. Bad timing, I guess? Well, when I tried to console myself with a healthy swig from some of my 80-Proof Stoli Russian Anti-Freeze this bear-like ape-man ran out of the woods and snatched my bottle! I'm done with fly fishing in Yosemite! I think I'll try Death Valley out in July instead... yeah that should be some great fishing."

Deeply Mysterious Photo found in the trash bin archives of John Muir upon his death in 1914. 

Cryptozoology experts are excited about Yosemite and Bigfoot. "I'm excited!" said Dr. Karl Blinng, Director-For-Life of the YETI NOT SETI Institute in snowy Yuba City, California. "There have been hushed rumors for years about John Muir and Teddy Roosevelt encountering a Sasquatch during their famous trip to Yosemite Valley in 1903. Amazingly I was able to find an extremely rare photograph taken by Muir of an obnoxious Sasquatch that photo-bombed Muir's million-dollar shot. I only paid $3,000 in Byte.me.Coin. I found this jewel of a photo on the internet... it was a steal!"                  

Teddy Roosevelt and John Muir standing by a suspected Sasquatch footprint in 1903.

A famous photograph of Teddy and John's Big Bigfoot Yosemite Adventure shows what looks suspiciously like a Sasquatch footprint in the background. It's there somewhere! The famous expedition was cut short after the discovery of the beast's gargantuan paw print. "Bully!", allegedly exclaimed President Roosevelt, "If I'd only brought my Elephant Gun! Flummadiddle!"

The John Muir Museum and Historic Site could not be reached for comment. The Teddy Roosevelt Museum and Historic Site did not return our phone calls. The YETI NOT SETI Institute, however, has been spamming this highly respected blog with promotional emails, texts, and pleas for donations in cash or Bo.Gus.Coin. 

Placervil Bigfoot Beats Court Rap!

Sasquatch wins Court Case with No Contest Plea and Courtroom Escape!

In a dramatic courtroom incident worthy of cringe-watching crime drama, a 'diabolically clever' Bigfoot managed to beat the rap and escape justice at the Placervil Courthouse, where the career-criminal furry-felon faced multiple charges of public nuisance, petty theft, and air polluting violations.  

Ricard Scheister, the 'acting' defensive lawyer representing the snarling beast, had just entered his usual nolo contendere plea for all 14 charges. When the Judge was about to declare an expectedly harsh sentence for repeat violations, the hairy defendant made a rude hand gesture to no one in particular, manically laughed, and suddenly leaped out a courtroom window.  The defendant was gone before the courtroom guards were wakened from their afternoon naps. "This thief is the Moriarty of Bigfoots!", declared the judge. "Get that Hairy Brigand!" 

A courtroom attendee looking suspiciously like the accused was seen near the Courthouse minutes after the Bigfoot's amazing escape. 

"It was the blizzard of flies which gave him away", said a local crime reporter who saw the beast running... "Those nasty flies followed him like a cloud!" It's assumed the criminal bigfoot is now in a nasty hideout somewhere in the Sierra Nevada foothills, awaiting the opportunity of resuming his evil plans to steal rancid fried foods, scare little old ladies, and terrorize yapping little ankle-biting dogs. 

WANTED: BIGFOOT! 

The hollywood celebrity defense lawyer Ricard Scheister was incensed by his erstwhile defendant's actions. "I'm not incensed that he escaped punishment. No, he deserved to have the book thrown at him! No, I'm very incensed that I didn't get paid! That moron Dr. Blinng from the Institute promised full payment for legal services rendered. Now it's turning into another one of those idiotic pro bono Sasquatch cases. I'll teach Blinng... just see if I answer the phone the next time he needs bail-bond money at 3 in the morning!"

Dr. Karl Blinng, Director-For-Life of the Yeti Not Seti Institute, was shocked at the Placervil courtroom antics. "That is the last time I'll put the Institute's good name at risk defending a Bigfoot! We'll stick to our usual financial fraud schemes... nolo contendere always works!"

Roatán Ruckus From Sasquatch Sighting!

 Rare Caribbean Bigfoot Spotted on Roatán Island! Cruise Ship Connection? Locals Languid!

Roatán Coxen Hole and East End Islander residents were astounded to see a large odorous Bigfoot scamper through town and into the local hills. "Dat foul hairy beeest came out of nowhere!" said a local island tour operator. "Frightened the Tourists and the Monkey La-La lizards to death. Very bad business!" 

Island Sasquatch spotted at Dixon Hill Tourist Trap. Roatan Rum sales shot up 400% after the sighting. 

The local authorities quickly blamed the Cruise Ship Industry. "Why not blame the Cruise Ships? Everyone else does!", exclaimed the Municipal Mayor, "Dat Sasquatch is a scoundrel and a stow-away!" Such unfortunate Caribbean cruise ship incidents have happened before, including a recent Bigfoot raid on Grand Cayman. "It's a major worry - - what if that cunning creature is stuck on our island?!" said another local. 

The Roatán Bigfoot pondering his next move. Coxen Hole denizens are worried. Did the beastie manage to find its way back to an unsuspecting cruise ship? Any unsuspecting cruise ship? Please?

Erk Holohead, a fully paid up (crypo currency, suckers!) Director of the Yeti Not Seti Institute, had a word of caution for the cruise ship industry. "Be careful. Be very careful! First it was the notorious norovirus plagues, then a bad at-sea plumbing fiasco, then the Covid-19 pandemic, and now Sasquatch infestations! What's next, free drink package offers?! The industry's challenges are formidable." The Yeti Not Seti Institute is located in phlegmatic Yuba City, California, where there are absolutely no cruise ships in port at the present time.