Sasquatch Seen Sauntering Through Savanna Grassland!

Bigfoot Spotted in Grassland During Gracious Lobster Dining Ice Age.

Alert and inebriated guests at a fund raiser for the Arts in Livermore Valley were treated to a rare Bigfoot sighting. While truly amazing and shocking, the passing Sasquatch gained little notice as most of the guests were either slap-happy from too much Wente wine, or frozen stiff from the wind and fog that ripped through the prestigious Cape Cod Lobster Fest event.

Savanna Sasquatch sighted in Livermore.

The fund raiser director was shocked. "I was shocked", she said, "First we ran out of finger food and organic tofu salad, then those fancy olives with tooth picks in them were gone, then we were in danger of running out of delicious luke-warm lobster bathed in margarine. Man, those people could eat, like they'd never seen melted lard before! Then the wind kicked up. Then the fog rolled in. As the theme of the event was "Cape Cod Nudity Beach and Lobster Boil", people were suffering from the unexpected cold weather. Then this nasty beast lurking in the grassland was spotted strolling nearby next to the golf course. Thank God we had exciting radio and TV personalities to entertain the crowd, or we would have had panic!".

Nearby golfers took little notice, as the fourth hole had a particularly devilish angle involving sand traps for chip shots and putting. "Bigfoot? What Bigfoot? I had $100.00 riding on that hole, and messed up my putt thanks to the commotion over at that fancy artsy fartsy party. Screw Sasquatch!" said a frustrated local duffer.

Livermore police are once again flummoxed by yet another Sasquatch sighting. "Why us? What did we do to deserve this yet again?", said an exasperated spokesman. Livermore has been the victim of numerous Bigfoot sightings in the last few years for no apparent reason, other than the fact the city is host to a top secret government research laboratory which is harboring revolutionary alien teeth cleaning technologies and is attempting a dangerous experiment to combine brussel sprouts and oregano through laser driven nuclear fusion.

Serene Sasquatch Caught Doing Tai Chi

BigFoot performs Tai Chi at VA Hospital!

Just hours after a BigFoot wine raid, astounded eye witnesses saw a "Serene Sasquatch" performing Tai Chi at the Livermore VA Hospital in the Livermore Valley foothills.

"He was doing pretty darn good with the 'Constipated Crane' position", said one hospital doctor, but his 'Gasping Fish' needs a lot of work." Bigfoot, distracted when pecked in the ankles by local wild turkeys, ran off into the heavily wooded hills surrounding the hospital. Empty Wente wine bottles were found nearby. Livermore Police, still investigating the Wente Raid, said Tai Chi Chuan can cause injuries and should be peformed only by trained professionals, not by novice Hairy Bigfeet.

BIGFOOT STOMPS GRAPE AT WENTE WINERY!

SHOCKING SASQUATCH SORTEE ON WENTE BROTHERS WINERY - - "BEAST APPEARS TO BE WINE SNOB"!

Amazing photo: Sasquatch scrambling by the Winery Office in a frantic search for Select Vino.

Livermore Valley's Wente Brothers Winery was raided by a "thirsty, smelly, thirsty, nasty, thirsty" Bigfoot this week, disrupting the mellow ambiance and prompting two wine tasting tours to swear off alcohol forever. Mr. Erk Holohed, a semi-sober eye-witness, was shaken but not stirred by the attack. He described the hairy ordeal; "I was takin' the Wente wine tour and was looking forward to the wine tasting bit, why do you think I go on these tours, aye? First I smelled the creature, he waz like rancid onions and garlic, sauteed not fried. That mangy BigFoot was yelping and running around like crazy, like he was lookin' for somethin' special. When he spotted the wine vats the beast stopped dead in his tracks and saluted, like they was Bacchus himself!"

"Gobsmacked BigFoot Hailing Bacchus?"

After honoring the wine vats, Sasquatch ran straight into the Wente Wine Tasting Room... "There was no panic", said a Wente Brothers Sommelier on duty, "I mean, we're a winery in wine country, right? And people are drinking good wine and are like very mellow, right? So even a wild BigFoot rampaging through the place is like, no worries man!"

BigFoot grabbed "two very expensive bottles of Cabernet Sauvignon Reserve" and escaped into the foothills. "The beast had good taste" said a startled Winery official, "That Sasquatch knew what he was doing".

The wine looting done, Bigfoot runs out of Wente with his Vintage Vino Swag.

Livermore Police, used to all kinds of tourists and atomic spies, said Wente Winery officials at first suspected the Apeman was actually a well-known jug wine vinologist in clever disguise, Mr. Krass Ffffhelps of SwanSwamp Vineyards, but soon realized that Ffffhelps was spying on Concannon Wineries during the attack. "Yeah, that's right.... Concannon.... research.... yeah. You can't pin that one on me, copper!" said Mr. Ffffhelps through his legal representative.

Everyone is baffled, and have decided to research the tasting room's wine selection until someone figures it all out.