Paris Panics as BigFoot Trashes Train Station!

J'accuse! Smelly Sasquatch Sabotoges Paris Nord Train Station - - Transit Workers Rejoice! Belgium Blamed.
A seriously suspicous Sasquatch disrupted the afternoon commute for thousands of Paris train and metro riders today. French police are searching for the ape-beast, warning it may strike again. Commuters said the foul, malaromatic monster arrived in Paris on a Thalys express train from Brussels... "Oui, le sale homme singe sauvage, it leap-ed le train like a person crazee, it grab-bed nasty goûters de porc frit from un food shop and ran to the street! His odeur horrible caused 20... no, 40... no, 1,000 people to faint-ed! Of this, I see with my own eyes!"

French Bigfoot disrupts Paris Trains.

The French public transit worker's union, protesting against the French government's plans to raise the retirement age to 24 and a half years, used the BigFoot incident at Paris Nord station as an excuse to go on a snap strike... again. "To the barricades! Why not?", said a transit union representative, "Having to work until 24 and 1/2 is an outrage.... having to endure disgusting working conditions to our sanitary health from this Belgium monqueee Bigfoot is unacceptable. We strike today! You know for us, demonstrations and strikes are sort of like a national sport, Oui? But first, we have lunch, Non?"

Au revoir, Sasquatch!

The Paris Nord train station was left in chaos and mayhem. Having severely disrupted train and metro service to Paris, the mysterious Belgian Bigfoot ran down Boulevard Diderot heading towards the Bastille, chased by Parisian Gendarmes and an enraged mob of angry commuters armed with pitchforks and torches. "Off with its head!", shouted the crowd. "ahhhh... after delousing?" said one observer.

Brussels denies the Bigfoot which attacked Paris is from Belgium, claiming it is in fact Dutch. "J'accuse!" said the French Foreign Ministry's senior janitor, who answered our midnight investigatory phone call. "Theeees is a threat growing to European Union harmony. Do not lie, you dastardly Belgians! Look what this nasty ape monster did to the Netherlands! You must take responsibility and pay damages! Not in Euros please.... Yen is much better."

Royal BigFoot Mess?

Queen's Train crosses paths with British BigFoot - -
Sasquatch Security Cover-up Denied!

The Royal Person Proctection Service are mum about a run-in between HRM Queen Elizabeth II and a "smelly and foul" British BigFoot. Rumours concerning odiferous threats to her royal olfactory senses have been whirling around London ever since her Majesty took a train (First Class, not to worry) to the royal Sandringham Estate in England for Christmas.

Alarming photos prove a Sasquatch with horrible personal hygiene haunted the greater London area train system during the Queen's trip. Did their paths cross?! Government security services are not talking.

The Elusive East End Sasquatch - Is This It?

BigFoot Spotted at Liverpool Street Station London!  This Amazing photo of a bungling British BigFoot caught by a surprised commuter coming out of London's Liverpool Street Tube Station - - "Blimey! You could smell 'em before you could see 'em! He needs a bath, he does!"

London Bigfoot spotted at Liverpool Station.

BigFoot Infiltrates Liverpool Street Station!  An amazing photo of British BigFoot lurking around Liverpool Street Train Station. Eyewitness Erk Holohed was highly alarmed; "Right, it's been a long business day, yeah? It's time to relax, have a smart double gin and tonic, read FT and find vulnerable widow and orphan stocks to ruthlessly short... but sadly, this odious animal stumbles into the station smelling like 4 week old rubbish, stenches up the place and causes panic. The hairy beast's fumes even set off a fire alarm! The beast boarded a train to Norfolk, the poor blighters."

Dr. Karl Blinng, Director of the famous YETI not SETI Institute in Yuba City, California, was vindicated. "Hah!, I warned Buckingham Palace about dangerous Sasquatch UK train spotters. I offered my services for a reasonable consulting fee (cash please, unmarked bills, no Euros). I could have tracked down these bloody BigFoots roaming Albion, but did they listen? No! Instead, they contact the FBI and tell them I'm mentally deranged, a scheming quack, and a fraud!
I am shocked! Buckingham Palace got it all wrong, I'm not deranged, what fools!"

British BigFoot Strikes Again!

Manchester "Man-Ape" Evades Heavy Police Dragnet at Piccadilly Station... Sasquatch Prefers First Class.

BigFoot spotted again in central Manchester, sparks frantic ape-man-hunt by police.

Erk Holohed, a passenger on the Manchester 17:30 Virggin Train to London, took this amazing photo of BigFoot hiding out in the first class car, eluding animal control officers and train station security.

"There I was, reading the Financial Tymes - - it may be pink but it's not red! Get it? Not 'red'? Ha ha ha ha ha ha! A little capitalism joke there. Right. So I put the FT down to grab my usual double bloody-mary from the table and promptly receive the shock o' me life! That hairy ape-man was sittin' right across from me! The odour radiating from that beast was quite beyond description, really. Enough to make one swear off tomato juice forever. The hairy man seemed anxious, and kept glancing out the window at all the security types running around - - like he was a fugitive on the run. I figured he was a Chelsea football fan, or another Yank billionaire looking to buy a Premier club. When the train pulled out of the station I looked up but the creature was long gone, only the stench remained."

Virggin Trains could not be reached for comment, but released a short statement that the first class carriage involved "is being systematically decontaminated, cleaned, sterilized, fumigated, irradiated, re-upholstered and incinerated, and will return to normal service in a fortnight after health inspector approvals."

Manchester BigFoot Takes Revenge Upon Local Pigeons!

Just hours before the Piccadilly Station police alert, a local shopper took this incredible photo of the Manchester man-ape roaming Piccadilly Gardens. "He wuz just hangin' around the square when he spotted them pigeons - - he suddenly turned quite nasty and mean - - deliberately scarin' them poor pigeons and makin' faces at them. Now our poor Piccadilly pigeons are quite edgy and traumatized. I think that bigfoot beast has a grudge against Manchester pigeons! Like he was takin' revenge on 'em for some reason. Them pigeons and that sasquatch creature really don't get along, to be honest."