Gotland Gobsmacked by Viking Bigfoot Sighting!

Visby Visibly Shocked! Are Swedes a Bunch of ABBA Sasquatch Sissies?!

The ancient, historic, not hysteric, and chill town of Visby, located on the Swedish island of Gotland, was transformed into pure primate panic when rumours spread about a North American Sasquatch infiltrating the area. "Yeah sure, we've received numerous irate reports from worried locals and testy tourists about a sneaky ape-man running about the area. Not only is the monkey-man scaring people and small dogs, but it's also turning over trash bins looking for old Stekt Strömming - leftover fried herring to you - and other nasties.", said a spokesman for the Visby Police Authority. 

Baltic Bigfoot caught loitering outside the Town's Defensive Walls! Is THIS the real reason fortress walls were built in Visby in the first place, centuries ago?

The hairy beast caught reconnoitering Visby's perimeter for some devilish purpose. "That Bigfoot wasn't a spy. He wasn't a Russian or French. But he was obnoxious just the same!", exclaimed a local tourist guide. 

The true intentions of the Bigfoot - pillaging and looting - became apparent when a Swedish Police Officer spotted the lurking Sasquatch hiding in bushes and wearing a Viking Helmut. "It's always a bad sign when outsiders come in wearing Cosplay Viking Helmuts", exclaimed a local professor of crypto-history, "They pick-pocket when they can, sell overly sugary candies to unsuspecting customers, and never pay their parking tickets!". 

The Visby Police deployed their C-9 Unit in search of the evasive Bigfoot. The Police Cat is a Maine Coon, which is the largest housecat in the world. "The K-9 Units were all spooked by the smell of the Sasquatch. They refused to search for the beast! To be honest, we are all spooked. The Police Cat didn't mind, of course. It ate all the old fried herring left scattered by the ape-man. A nice day for the cat!"

Erk Holohead, a member of the YETI not SETI Institute located in nordic-like Yuba City California, was impressed by the Sasquatch sighting in Gotland. "This is becoming too much of a coincidence. I was yet again in the same area as the Bigfoot beast. I'm getting a little concerned! How does the ape-man get around? How did it wind up on this exotic and strategic island in the Baltic Sea? Is it a Putin Spy? Or a deranged ABBA fan? Worse, a lost Finn? The world demands answers!"