Bigfoot Sighting at No-Hands Bridge!

Auburn California Astounded! Sasquatch Sighted at No-Hands Bridge!

It was "all hands on deck" for the Auburn California Animal Control Department as multiple Bigfoot reports from shaken and disgusted hikers flooded the 911 emergency phone line. "We wuz overwhelmed by the sheer number of calls from these back-packing types. You'd think they wanted to disconnect from civilization and not carry a cel phone but no... they called and kept calling as long as the mangy ape was in the area!", mumbled an overworked City Dog-catcher turned part-time Bigfoot Hunter.  

Sasquatch caught on camera by horrified hiker!

Several Day-Hikers were able to take photos of the beast. "It was evil, elusive, and wily!" exclaimed one semi-nature stroller. "It was there one second then gone the next. Birds and coyotes in the area went real quiet. Squirrels were suddenly alert and alarmed. They are mortal enemies of Bigfoots. Only the beast's odor and an ever-present swarm of flies nearby gave any indication it was near!" 

The sneaky Bigfoot caught hiding behind a rock. 

 

An amazingly coincidental eye-witness was Ms. Kikki Dumpster, an intrepid member of the YETI NOT SETI Institute bored of directors for the study of Cryptozoology. "Yes, it's unbelievable that I was able to actually see this mythical ape-man of the forest, garbage dumps, and fast-food joints. I think the Bigfoot was actually trying to play hide-and-go-seek, but like a dog it thought that if IT couldn't see YOU, then YOU couldn't see IT. They're not very smart, these Sasquatches."

 

The Sasquatch Beast lurking about, looking for something to lurk.

 

Dr. Karl Blinng, Director-for-Life of the Institute, was jealous. "I'm jealous. I've spent my entire Cryptozoological Career looking for a real live Bigfoot and haven't spotted one yet! So many close calls! Drat it all! Beginners luck I say! Beginners luck! Not fair!". At that point Blinng calmed down, took a deep breath and a shot of cheap whisky, and returned to preparing an important Bigfoot presentation he will give at a fun & wild, er somber & prestigious Sasquatch Conference in Cancun Mexico. 
 

Erk Holohead, a member of the Bored of Directors, was speculative. "Kikki had beginner's luck for sure. Now, bringing in real Sasquatch DNA or fecal matter... that would be impressive! Speaking of speculation... I've been speculating our Institute's orphan-and-widow funds on Crypto-Currencies. Buy high, sell low! It's always worked before. If these investments go south, I'll play hide-and-go-seek with the IRS and SEC. Been there, done that. Pesky extradition treaties only work in some Latin American hide-aways. My Spanish is pretty good nowadays!"