Norway Numb from Bigfoot Sightings! Norge nummen etter Big Foot Observation!

Sneaky Sasquatch in Oslo! Norwegians Really Worked Up This Time!

Like a bad dream, Bigfoot sightings popped up all over Oslo, Norway last month. Oslo city police politely request normally stoic city dwellers to remain calm, comatose, and semi-alert for future fur-fetish dangers. Panic at home if you must!

Startled tourists saw what looked like a North American Bigfoot or an Inflatable Advertising Sasquatch Blimp perched on top of the world famous Holmenkollbakken Ski Jump above Oslo. Holmenkollbakken means "Who would be crazy enough to try this?" in Norwegian. Speculation is rampant that only a Bigfoot could have conceived of this sport?

Sasquatch sightings reached the center of Oslo, near the National Theater. "Even the pigeons where afraid!", commented a very steamed-off coffee vendor nearby. "Bad for business. Some small yappy dogs put up a ferocious defense near the trash bins, frustrating the big ape's nasty plans to scavenge for old lutefisk".  

Sightseeing Sasquatch skulking near the Norway Parliament Building! Parliament closed! No one noticed! "It took a while to determine if he was a member of Parliament or a stinkende villape, but when he used the plaza to relieve an urgent call of nature we knew immediately... he was with the Green Party." 

At the Frammmm Ship Museum, there is a remarkable model of the Frammmm solidly stuck in Arctic Ice for three years - - as a what-could-go-wrong nautical exploration experiment. Overlooked by modern museum experts, a Sasquatch is clearly depicted as part of the crew! "This entire expedition was incredible! Deliberately allowing the Arctic Ice to freeze the ship and allow it travel in ice flows for 3 years? Insane. No wonder a Bigfoot volunteered for duty! Why isn't this remarkable history more commonly known... other than causing widespread panic? Why?" 

Were Bigfoots Vikings? Were Vikings Bigfoots? Or at least cosplay Wagnerian Opera Fans? Ancient Alien Theorists are convinced there is compelling evidence for unpleasant Sasquatch and Viking interactions one thousand years ago. "Meeting scraggy Sasquatches, not savage Skraelings, may been the REAL reason those Lief Erikson Vikings would rather chill in Iceland and freeze in icy Greenland than make a permanent home in Vinland and live in Miami Beach Condos during the winter.", pontificated one very unusually coiffed ancient alien cable-tv expert.

Erk Holohead, a bored member of the YETI NOT SETI Institute in fjord friendly Yuba City, California, was amazed. "I'm in a knotted Nordic mental maze. I am totally 'mazed! Jeg er helt forbløffet! Bigfoots, Vikings, Ski Jumps, Lutefisk, Wagner, bar soap... the pernicious possibilities from Norseman Sasquatch interactions over the centuries are astounding! Norway has a lot to answer for! After this World Cup is over, that is. In the meantime, forget about it."