Amazing New Trinity River Bigfoot Sighting!

Savage Sasquatch Squashes Sorry Fly-Fishermen in Ferocious Frenzy of Fear!

The infamous Trinity River region of Northern California is well known for decades of numerous sightings of wild Bigfoots roaming the region. Rare incidents include really famous encounters recorded in Kodachrome and other state of the art photography. Despite all the frenzied furry attention, no Sasquatch bodies, hair, feces, DNA, empty BillyBob beer cans or smokeless chewing tobacco tins have ever been recovered as evidence. No matter... it is well known these nasty creatures are out there skulking in the trees, lurking about for their next hapless victims!

Professional Fly-Fishermen Attacked at Close Range by Bigfoot!

A group of struggling professional fly-fishermen recently tried their luck in the Trinity River, attempting to land the rare freshwater Spotted Pacific Tuna while adding unauthorized points to their really pathetic scores (-3, -2, -7 respectively) on the latest Fly Fishing USA scoreboard. "We were so close to landing a real big fishy this time, not the fake rubber ones we use for Facebook photos, when suddenly out of the dense forest a monstrous Bigfoot jumped out of the brush and trampled us! After a terrific trampling the rogue stole our organic pork rinds and ran up-river quick as lightening. It was horrible. I may give up fly-fishing and just go to the seafood section of Safeway after this!"

Serene, Bucolic, and very Fishy!

The Trinity County Sheriff's department is on the case. "We know those fly-fishy guys didn't have a fishing permit. An all-points bulletin has been issued for their capture, torture, and release. Notice to all fisherman tourists... no permit? We catch and release up here, you city slickers!"

Regarding the alleged Bigfoot attack, the District Attorney declined to prosecute the unidentified Sasquatch. "Hey, I don't make the laws around here. Blame Sacramento! Technically, these beasts are feral and homeless. Sasquatches are a protected species with fleas and very bad hygiene. The recent court case decision from Gerbil versus the State of California confirms our decision to not pursue a case."

Ape-Man caught on Video Cam! Just hours after the alleged fly-fisherman trampling, a sauntering 'Squatch was spotted crossing a road near the Trinity River. He stank of pork rinds.  

Dr. Karl Blinng, Director of the YETI NOT SETI INSTITUTE issued a rare press release in response to this recent Sasquatch attack on innocent bootlegging fly-fisherman. "I deny any involvement. I wasn't there. My lawyer can back up my alibi! I would never dream of fly-fishing without a fishing permit, unless I thought I could get away... ah... unless I thought I was in disputed international waters or at a Big Fish Store."

Erk Holohead, head of the Institute's Bigfoot disinformation, crypto-investment, and investor-fleecing operations, added a clear opinion on the matter. "Fishing is stupid. Fly-Fishing doubly so. Let's not even talk about catch-and-release! Orange Lobster has the bounty of the seas at your table in minutes, including the really delicious fake crab-meat stuff!"

Learn more about Fly-Fishing and Bigfoots! 

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