Perplexing Bigfoot Panic at Pyramid Lake!
Confirmed* reports from Nevada's Pyramid Lake bring the astounding news that a bonafide Bigfoot was spotted at sunset prowling the shore looking for leftover fast-food delicacies. "I was gobsmacked, flabbergasted, aghast!", said a perturbed fisherman, "The sun was going down over the lake, a crescent moon was out, and there was moonshine for everyone. I prefer mine at 150 proof, thank you very much. Well there we were enjoying the scene and our dinner cooking. Suddenly this hideous ape-man came out of the darkness, waltzed by our camper, and napped our freshly caught Lahontan cutthroat trout! He left behind the Cui-ui Lakesucker fishies behind... the Cad! The brute ran off into the desert. We heard coyotes howling later on. They sounded distressed, like they'd encountered something very odiferous."
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| It came at Sunset! The moonshine helped the aromatic creature navigate naughtily during its theft expeditions. |
A member of the Paiute Tribe, whose reservation surrounds Pyramid Lake, gave some historical perspective on Sasquatch. "We see Bigfoot as a gentle well-behaved creature. He's not scary. We see him as a benevolent protector, a harmonious son of nature. Naaaaaaa, who am I kidding? We just tell that old fable to the children so they're not scared all the time!"
Pyramid Lake is just like Lake Tahoe except it's in the high desert, has a few living trees and other scattered vegetation, is essentially barren, wholly desiccated, rather desolate and... er, maybe it's not like Lake Tahoe? The lake is known for famous fish and seriously fanatical fishermen. The unique lake area is heavily used by movie studios as a stand-in for the Sinai Wilderness, the Sahara Desert, post-apocalyptic scenes in general, Star Trek planets, and planets involving apes. Burning Mannequin festival attendees travel through the area to nearby Black Rock Desert, which can easily fit all the luxury glamping RVs required to rough it.
*Some demented fly-fisherman we know.
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