Sordid Santa Fe Sasquatch Sighting!

Baffled BigFoot in Santa Fe and Los Alamos! New Mexico Authorities Stumped. 

An extremely rare sighting of a Sasquatch has occurred in numbed New Mexico. Locals and lost tourists spotted the scabious beast multiple times in the Santa Fe and Los Alamos regions. Police suspect the creature attempted a nocturnal heist of rare and invaluable southwestern art. Federal lands have been closed until confirmation the beast has cleared out and returned to California. It is assumed by the state government that most unwelcome intruders into New Mexico are from California or Texas. 

Bigfoot caught on camera in the Jemez Springs area by a seriously lost fly-fisherman looking for feral trout to electrocute with his new fancy fly-fishing gear. 

Terrible Troglodyte Sasquatch spotted at an ancient cliff dwelling at Bandelier National Monument. "The man-monkey thought the cave was a nice condo for sale. You know how expensive homes are in Santa Fe!" sniffed a local realtor. 

A Santa Fe Art Dealer's security camera captured the art heist suspect on camera, it was casing the joint along with another 249,999 galleries. A daring attempted art theft at one of larger southwestern mass-market shops occurred sometime after closing. 

Along with causing paleolithic disturbances and panic throughout the region, police strongly suspect the Bigfoot was involved in an attempted art theft at a Santa Fe Art Shop. "We're stuffed. Absolutely loaded with Southwestern Art Galleries", said a local art aficionado, "With more than 250,000 galleries in Santa Fe, it's astonishing to witness the extensive array of paintings, jewelry, photographs, pots, sculptures, textiles and more, just waiting for dupes, I mean tourists, to buy them all." The police note an minor theft of a small clay pot painted in pastel desert scenes complete with a saguaro cactus and kookopelli was made that night, but the value of the piece was negligible as there are around 1,400,257 similar items in being sold in New Mexico art galleries and gas stations alone. 

Sasquatch Man meets Atomic Man. 

Security Cameras at the Los Alamos Museum caught the wily ape-man sneaking about the facility. Unmarked black helicopters swarmed the area soon after the discovery, but the fuzzy beast escaped. Reports that the unauthorized BigFoot glowed in the dark were refuted. "It stank in the dark." sighed a Los Alamos security guard. 

Dr. Karl Blinng, President-for-Life of the aromatic YETI not YETI Institute (located in southwestern Yuba City) was overwhelmed. "I'm overwhelmed! Just how much radioactive ground can a forest-loving crypto-creature like a bigfoot cover in a desert wasteland like New Mexico? Don't think I'm bitter that I call New Mexico a desert wasteland just because my request to present an important paper on Sasquatch precious bodily fluids was denied by a stupid BigFoot conference in Santa Fe this year. Fools! Who needs bitterness when one is armed with the TRUTH! Hahahahahahaha!" 

Unfortunately, this is not the first time Santa Fe has been afflicted by a bigfoot infestation:

Santa Fe Sasquatch Soils Art Scene!