Bad Boy Bigfoot Spotted - - Looking For Trouble In Yosemite Valley!
A horrible hominid was sighted in Yosemite National Park this Easter Weekend. Rangers cleared the area of pesky tourists, but are not going to search for the wild animal. "Are you crazy?", said a Park Ranger, "Those Bigfoot beasts stink to high heaven. We're not equipped with proper air filtration equipment. It would be a safety disaster if we tried. Our hope is that the beast will grow bored of the valley floor and search for a Burger King dumpster outside of the park instead." |
| Sasquatch Simian spotted in Yosemite. |
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| Bigfoot Bother: Actual photo taken by trembling tourist. |
Dr. Blinng of the Yeti Not Seti Institute was elated. "I'm elated, not concerned. Yosemite Valley attracts all sorts of disgusting day-trippers. Plebs. Now with this new Sasquatch scare, I might finally be able to find a parking spot!"
Yosemite Valley has been hit by Bigfoot raids before:
Yosemite has issues.
