Sasquatch Sighting at Famous Tulip Grounds - Flower Show Flattened.
Floral Fans Flummoxed by Feral Felon!
A rare wild Sasquatch (as compared to the domestic variety) has stampeded into an annual Tulip Flower Show, crushing rare tulipa darwinhybrid 'Spryng Break' award winning prized tulips by the hundreds. "That darn Bigfoot has caused thousands of dollars in damage!", said one eye-witness. In the ensuing mayhem, at least 10 flower club ladies rioted and hurled their summer hats and garden tools at the drooling beast in an effort to divert him towards rival tulip growers. Four of the ladies were briefly detained for unruly behavior by police. |
| Bigfoot trampling through the tulips. |
Organizers of the Tulip Flower Show remained silent, though one person with ties to the local flower club suspected the Sasquatch was deliberately set loose upon the tulips once members of the club realized they were not going to win Gold or Silver this year. "Sabotage, I'll tell you!", said the eyewitness.
Was Tiny Tim a Sasquatch?
When Tiny Tim's monster hit "Tiptoe through the Tulips" came out in 1968, people were dumbfounded, more than usual. But no one ever asked how this song came to be? Dr. Karl Blinng, Director of the fiscally needy YETI not SETI Institute in mysterious Yuba City, California, is convinced that Tiny Tim was a Sasquatch. "This recent tulip attack confirms it!", said Blinng, "That beast didn't tiptoe so much as trample through the tulips! Tiny Tim was a Bigfoot!"
1 comment:
Yet another trashy tulip tattle-tale. Boring! You should focus on Azaleas instead. Much more classy.
President, River Oaks Garden Club.
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