Sasquatch Catastrophe in Montreal!

Bigfoot Spotted At Mount Royal Park! Montréal en panique parfaite alors que Bigfoot est aperçu en ville!

Astounding amazed locals and visitors alike, an extremely rare North American Sasquatch was spotted taking in the views at Mount Royal Park in Montreal, Canada. The park was quickly emptied by Park Police with assistance from the Canadian Mounted Police, who scoured the park on foot - - their horses had taken one deep sniff of an aromatic bigfoot in the air and quickly announced an immediate safety related work-stoppage per Canadian Police Horses Union, local 121. "Well sure they would strike, wouldn't you? These horses are scared silly by Bigfoots." pronounced a local Poutine street vendor warily eyeing his inventory of the tasty-but-deadly snack, on vigilant guard for Bigfoots.  

Sasquatch scanning Montreal for his next meal. 

Fortunately for central Montreal, no further sightings of the clever beast were made. The ape creature appeared to wonder off towards Vermont. Police on both sides of the border are on intense surveillance. 

Idyllic scene shattered by Bigfoot appearance. Photo Bombed!

Dr. Karl Blinng, Director-For-Life of the YETI NOT SETI Institute in monolingual Yuba City, felt a bit guilty about the whole mess in Montreal. "I sent one of our unpaid interns there to learn some French and bring me back some hot, steamy, dripping, heart-attack triggering Mac And Cheese Poutine, yum! Unfortunately while in the city she encountered this mangy sasquatch, which really messed up her olfactory nerves and allergies! Too bad we don't offer health insurance here. Oh well, the Poutine was magnificent!".

Erk Holohead, a Bored of Directors member of the institute, had an observation. "I visited Montreal a few years ago for one of these lovely open bar cocktail hour scientific Sasquatch conferences. It was all in French but it didn't matter, as long as the hotel open bar was open! At the time Montreal could boast of having not one but two mayors recently convicted of corruption. Locals were very proud of this achievement, as not even Chicago can boast this claim. Cabbies point out the unfinished rebar sticking out of roadway overpasses as sightseeing must-sees! Please be advised in Quebec the official language is French, and Montreal is no exception. I made the mistake of ordering a particularly unhealthy snack of Poutine from a street-vendor in English... not only was there social embarrassment, but my subsequent arrest by the language-police included 24-hour jail time while being forced to listen to the collected speeches of  Justin Trudeau in French. Desperately, I made a plea-bargain. Per the Judge's order I took the next flight out of Montreal. Unfortunately it was to Dushanbe, Tajikistan. Luckily, they didn't want me in their country either and they promptly put me on a flight back to the States."

In order to confirm to Quebec policies and requirements for this important information, a Google enhanced translation into French follows. Don't blame us. We all took high-school French*, but we've forgotten most of it. *Except for one poor lad who took German, as he is a linguistic masochist.

Official French Version follows:

OK, alors ce sasquatch dégoûtant s'est présenté au Parc Royal à Montréal et a semé la panique. Les chevaux de service de la Gendarmerie royale du Canada se sont mis en grève et ont refusé d'aider à retrouver le bigfoot. Même après avoir été menacés d'être transformés en steaks de cheval congelés et exportés vers la Belgique, les équidés refusent de servir. À la fin de la journée, l’homme-singe a disparu et a quitté la ville seul. Nous avons tous fini par manger des quantités prodigieuses de Poutine et boire de bonnes bières québécoises. Ces Américains qui ont écrit ce blog sont en fait des idiots.

YETI not SETI Institute to launch product R&D for Bigfoot inspired perfumes.

New Research Project to develop Perfumes based upon Sasquatch Aromas Announced.

The prestigious and puerile YETI not SETI Institute announces an exciting new project to develop a line of 'high-end colognes' using scare Bigfoot pheromones, perspiration, and other unfortunate bodily aromas and fluids. 

Bigfoot Bashing in Bali!

Indonesia Nauseous After Rare Sasquatch Sighting! 

The exotic and erratic touristy tropical island of Bali is bamboozled after a North American Bigfoot was found haunting a resort full of drunk Australians (is there any other kind?) and Americans who should never use VeryCheapHotels.com without adult supervision.  

Bigfoot caught scanning resort pool area for open cans of Foster Lager. 

"Yea, we waz there mate!", said a enthusiastic visitor from Sydney, "There we were by the pool having a another ripper drinking cold amber liquids when this crazy beast jumped from a balcony and grabbed one of me tinnies! It ran right off without a word of thanks, the bugger!"

Bali officials have kept quiet, not wanting to cause panic amongst the locals or the 5% of the tourists who actually follow any news when on holiday. A spokesman for the Bali Unusual Reports in Progress (BURP), Mr. Whyaputzmadeketupt, delved decidedly deeper into the dark dangers the Sasquatch poses to Indonesia at large - "Look, this nasty animal could be an invasive species, I don't care which side of the Wallace line it comes from. Already our fierce Komodo dragons are looking preoccupied and stressed! We must be more careful about tourists we allow into Bali, even money-laden Aussies and Kiwis."

Curiously, a scientific paper on Homo floresiensis has just been released by paleoanthropologists seeking to justify eyebrow raising expenses incurred during a particularly successful party junket to Indonesia. The paper claims that "Flores Hobbits" are in fact the pint-sized ancestors of gigantopithecus revultus, today's modern Bigfoot. "It all makes sense!", exclaimed Dr. Karl Blinng of the YETI not SETI Institute in tropical Yuba City, California. "Now pass me another beer, it's hot and I'm thirsty!"

Sordid Santa Fe Sasquatch Sighting!

Baffled BigFoot in Santa Fe and Los Alamos! New Mexico Authorities Stumped. 

An extremely rare sighting of a Sasquatch has occurred in numbed New Mexico. Locals and lost tourists spotted the scabious beast multiple times in the Santa Fe and Los Alamos regions. Police suspect the creature attempted a nocturnal heist of rare and invaluable southwestern art. Federal lands have been closed until confirmation the beast has cleared out and returned to California. It is assumed by the state government that most unwelcome intruders into New Mexico are from California or Texas. 

Bigfoot caught on camera in the Jemez Springs area by a seriously lost fly-fisherman looking for feral trout to electrocute with his new fancy fly-fishing gear. 

Terrible Troglodyte Sasquatch spotted at an ancient cliff dwelling at Bandelier National Monument. "The man-monkey thought the cave was a nice condo for sale. You know how expensive homes are in Santa Fe!" sniffed a local realtor. 

A Santa Fe Art Dealer's security camera captured the art heist suspect on camera, it was casing the joint along with another 249,999 galleries. A daring attempted art theft at one of larger southwestern mass-market shops occurred sometime after closing. 

Along with causing paleolithic disturbances and panic throughout the region, police strongly suspect the Bigfoot was involved in an attempted art theft at a Santa Fe Art Shop. "We're stuffed. Absolutely loaded with Southwestern Art Galleries", said a local art aficionado, "With more than 250,000 galleries in Santa Fe, it's astonishing to witness the extensive array of paintings, jewelry, photographs, pots, sculptures, textiles and more, just waiting for dupes, I mean tourists, to buy them all." The police note an minor theft of a small clay pot painted in pastel desert scenes complete with a saguaro cactus and kookopelli was made that night, but the value of the piece was negligible as there are around 1,400,257 similar items in being sold in New Mexico art galleries and gas stations alone. 

Sasquatch Man meets Atomic Man. 

Security Cameras at the Los Alamos Museum caught the wily ape-man sneaking about the facility. Unmarked black helicopters swarmed the area soon after the discovery, but the fuzzy beast escaped. Reports that the unauthorized BigFoot glowed in the dark were refuted. "It stank in the dark." sighed a Los Alamos security guard. 

Dr. Karl Blinng, President-for-Life of the aromatic YETI not YETI Institute (located in southwestern Yuba City) was overwhelmed. "I'm overwhelmed! Just how much radioactive ground can a forest-loving crypto-creature like a bigfoot cover in a desert wasteland like New Mexico? Don't think I'm bitter that I call New Mexico a desert wasteland just because my request to present an important paper on Sasquatch precious bodily fluids was denied by a stupid BigFoot conference in Santa Fe this year. Fools! Who needs bitterness when one is armed with the TRUTH! Hahahahahahaha!" 

Unfortunately, this is not the first time Santa Fe has been afflicted by a bigfoot infestation:

Santa Fe Sasquatch Soils Art Scene!

Colorado Bigfoot Video.

The Colorado BigFoot Sighting - Analysis and Opinion.

A fascinating Sasquatch Field and Pseudo-Analysis report has been published by our intrepid pseudo-scientific investigator Brucillus Hail, lost somewhere in the wastelands of Colorado. Brucillus is an enthusiastic part-time and poorly paid Sasquatch researcher from the YETI not SETI Institute, and is a member of the Bored of Directors. Well, he gets paid more than our summer interns, who are just a bunch of plain old saps. 

See astounding Colorado Bigfoot insight on the official YETI not SETI website:

https://yeti-not-seti-institute.blogspot.com/2023/10/yeti-not-seti-institute-responds-to.html

YETI NOT SETI INSTITUTE Announces new TOP SECRET Corporate Anthem!

Press Release: YETI NOT SETI INSTITUTE Corporate Anthem Unleashed Upon the World!

Get the latest news here on the official YETI NOT SETI Institute website. Your generous donations accepted in crypto, bolivars, guilders and monopoly money: 

http://yeti-not-seti-institute.blogspot.com/2023/10/yeti-not-seti-institute-announces-new.html

Your generous donations accepted in crypto, bolivars, guilders and non-traceable Roman gold hoards.  

Sasquatch Sighting in Panamá City! ¡Sasquatch en Ciudad de Panamá otra vez, carajo!

 Persnickety Bigfoot Spotted in Panamá! Clumsy city ape-man targets Tourista Business! 

After a welcome break, another unwelcome Bigfoot has been spotted in Panamá City, Panamá - - once again spoiling the recovering Avenida Balboa and Marbella neighborhoods. "The beast is operating a shake-down operation on tourist operators.", said a special investigations detective from the national Departamento de Investigaciones Repugnantes y Turistas (DIRT). 

The intended target of the Bigfoot's wrath?

In the first attack, the Bigfoot approached a autobus hop-on hop-off kiosk along Avenida Balboa, filled with tourists waiting for the next bus, awed by the heroic traffic congestion just steps away. To the amazement of tourists and locals, the hairy beast sat down on a bench armed with oily day-old carimañolas wrapped in a fishy-smelling newspaper. The ape-man proceeded to eat his ageing snack while avidly reading the newspaper upside down. Needless to say, the area was cleared of tourists, locals, and pigeons within seconds. When a Hop-On bus rolled up the beast got up and boarded the bus. Monkey mayhem ensued! "When my customers saw this, this, this, this ANIMAL hop on the  bus, they all hopped off - - through windows, the emergency escape, anywhere! I lost all my fares except this stupid big ape. So I drove it over to Calle 50 and told him in no uncertain terms that my bus was now off-line, and time to get out. He hopped out. I mean that literally. He thought it was required to hop in and out of the bus, he isn't too bright. Ese simio era muy tonto!" 

Shake-down Sasquatch dropped off in front of the RIU Plaza hotel on Calle 50. Hotel Reservations plummeted.

Police have released a mysterious letter sent by an unknown person(?) to various tourist outfits a week ago. The writer appears to have limited intelligence and is threatening blackmail. The letter is badly scrawled in red crayon on an empty french-fries box. "It looks like an illiterate human wrote it, except for the grease spots and fur all over it.", said an investigator. The letter's contents were short and to the point: "Der Syrs - U hav 23 21 24 ahoras to to lev mi taasti junc fud in ur basuras or mi goin to be mean to ur bizneseses. U warrned! Sinserly, señor Beeegfut"

The infamous Panamá Bigfoot scanning Avenida Balboa, plotting his next catastrophic caper?

 The beast's photo was caught by a shocked Condo Manager using the building's stairs. The ape-man fled before the police could arrive on the scene, as did the condo manager - he gave his resignation immediately after the sighting. "This job ain't worth running into monos malolientes like that one!". 

Erk Holohead, a member of the YETI NOT SETI bored of directors, visited Panamá during the latest Sasquatch attack. "I'm shocked some of these Bigfoots manage to find a way down from the USA and Canada to PTY. Panamá needs to tighten up restrictions on their Panama Relocation programs. Amongst all those North American retirees coming to the country, it's way too easy right now for an anti-social Bigfoot with evil designs on the tourist industry to blend-in and even qualify for the Pensionando Program! Call me a snob but the program should be revised to apply to homo-sapiens-sapiens only, if you ask me, not gigantopithecus-revultas. 

Sasquatch Sightings at Flathead National Forest!

Grizzly Bears, Wolves, Mountain Goats, Fly Fisherman and other dangerous beasts give Bigfoot Beast a Wide Berth during rare sighting! 

The forest service has temporarily closed the Great Bear Wilderness, hoping the Bigfoot just goes away and visits nearby Canada. "The last Bigfoot sighting around here was a few years ago... quite a mess." said one of the park rangers, "The Grizzly bears boycotted the area for several years before they came back sniffing around. I mean, what's a Great Bear Wilderness if you have no bears?!"

Hungry Bigfoot caught on webcam, searching for his next semi-cooked meal.

Flathead National Forest in the summer is a normally serene and slow-paced realm, where mellow fly fisherman lazily try to catch a few trout to enhance the freeze dried mystery meat they brought with them for dinner. While everyone was on the watch for bear attacks, no one thought a Sasquatch raid was in the cards.

Bigfoot cruising the high country. 

In order to protect clueless park guests, the National Forest Service has issued the following Sasquatch safety guidelines until further notice:

"When you are on the trails, expect bigfoots to be present. Moving quickly on a trail increases your chance of surprising a Sasquatch... try it! It will be fun!

Expect bigfoots to be present when you least expect them. 

Carry bear spray - it won't help, but you'll feel safer anyway. 

Make noise and slow down. Leave fast food snacks and back away. 

Avoid evening, morning, midday, afternoon, and night. 

Avoid going out alone. Rude things can happen to solo hikers, not even counting alien abductions. 

During a Bigfoot encounter:

Do not run. Sprint! 

If the Bigfoot charges: stand your ground, use your bear spray, prepare to die.

If the Bigfoot makes physical contact: protect your nose and avoid inhaling too much of the beast's odors. Play dead, use your bear spray on yourself. For more information visit the Interagency Sasquatch Committee.

Sneaky Sasquatch sighted in Montana.

Dr. Karl Blinng, President For Life of the YETI NOT SETI INSTITUTE in hilly Yuba City, California, was in the Flathead National Wilderness when the Sasquatch sightings hit the area. "I didn't see any of the beasts, gosh darn it! I was focused on a titanic battle with a tremendous killer trout on my line. Mano-a-mano. After a terrifying 3 hour tussle between man-and-fish it all ended when one of my colleagues cut-loose my line in desperation and let the floating log I'd caught float free into the sunset. I was so close! Well, I went back to camp and expected a delicious meal of freeze-dried crunchy pasta with extra-crunchy Italian meatballs - - only to find found our precious meal  was stolen by one of those wily Sasquatch critters. Curse them! Well, the furry thief left the case of slim-jims so we dined well enough." 

SASQUATCH PHILLY FRENZY!

Bigfoot Spotted in Philadelphia! City of Brotherly Love Suspends Motto. Independence Hall and Terminal Market Hit in Broad Daylight!

Downtown Philly locals, bums, and lost tourists alike were astounded to see a bonafide backwoods Sasquatch prowl downtown Philadelphia and Independence Hall. City and National Monument Police quickly converged upon the afflicted areas but couldn't find the nasty culprit. They did find an illegally parked Martian flying saucer, however, and with great skill efficiently gave the vehicle a parking ticket for not paying the meter. 

North American Sasquatch spotted skulking sultrily past Independence Hall!

"We saw the beast!", said a stunned tour guide leading a pack of tourists past the hallowed site, "The kids got a thrill throwing left-over freetoe pies at the animal - - the beast seems to really like 'em when they soft and soggy, not crunchy. I'm talking about the pies, not the people, you idiot!"

The same Bigfoot caught sneakily snooping around the inside of Independence Hall!

The Park Service had to close the building for 3 days in order to fumigate the entire structure. 

Security Cameras caught the beast entering the building later the same day, quickly forcing an evacuation as the hearty aromas brought to bear by the beast were described as intense and insulting. 

 

Hungry Bigfoot apeing Rocky Balboa at the Philly Terminal Market, before diving into multiple Cheese Steak dumpsters. 

The Philadelphia Terminal Market is famous for excellent cheese steak sandwiches and other local concoctions designed to give the hearty eater premature cardiac arrest. Dr. Karl Blinng, President-for-life of the aspirational YETI Not SETI Institute in cheesy Yuba City, was visiting the Terminal Market when the ape-man struck. "I heard all the ruckus! I didn't actually see the simian, but I sure heard the yelling, things getting thrown around, and the strange odors wafting from the market... it was the beast I smelled, not the food! I think? Anyway, I had a great cheesesteak sandwich! A steaming two footer pile high with extra onions. Heart Attack on a Plate! Sure, I was comatose for a week but it was worth it!"

Erk Holohead, a member of the Bored of Directors at the YETI Not SETI Institute, had some uninvited  hysterical historical perspectives to bring to the Bigfoot Philly Fiasco. "Look, it's a well-known fact that many of the Founding Fathers alluded to the existence of at least one bigfoot lurking amongst them. Thomas Jefferson was suspected by many. Benjamin Franklin was another suspect... initials BF... very subtle and just like him. Coincidence or...? I'm also convinced King George III was a full-blown sasquatch - what else could possibly describe his behavior? I'm written to King Charles, on Official Institute Stationary mind you, requesting DNA samples be taken for sasquatch analysis of himself, Prince Harry (Prince Hairy?), and King George III himself, may the old tyrant rest in peace. Nothing! No response, how rude! Well, except for my Passport being rejected by the UK government and classifed as Asinus Non Grata.  I wonder if there's a connection?"

Sasquatch Bashes Baja! Cabo Crunched!

 Bigfoot Scare at Cabo San Lucas!

Mexico has been hit again by a rare but strangely persistent incursion of a nasty Bigfoot, this time afflicting the tourist city of Cabo San Lucas. "Cabo", or "Cartel" as many call it, is a well-heeled resort town situated on the very bottom tip of the dry-as-bones Baja Peninsula. How a forest loving creature like a Sasquatch made it down to Cabo is a mysteriously misty mystery. 

Visitors to a Gravel Yard, err Zen Garden, at Nobu Los Cabos were shocked to find that not only had the rocks had been moved helter-skelter, but a savage Sasquatch had done the dirty deed!

The Bigfoot caused quite a ruckus roaming the beaches and resorts in Cabo. Eye-witnesses said the beast has a propensity to grab ageing half-eaten fish tacos stuffed with jalapenos and melted cheese, overly fried yucca strips, and warm stale beer in bottles left sitting in the sun. "The beast is omnivorous.", sniffed a visiting gringa dietician, "But his healthy food choices were very bad!"

The Sasquatch was caught roaming around in an all-inclusive resort. Partial refunds were given to guests immediately after the intrusion in order to avoid cancellations and nasty social media posts by disgruntled tourists . 

Dr. Karl Blinng, President-for-Life of the YETI not SETI Institute in balmy and freeze-dried Yuba City, California, commented on the amazing Sasquatch sighting. "I was there you know. In Cabo. Cabo San Lucas. Yep. ¡Olé! I'd finally been invited to a serious scientific conference on the anatomical origins of hanging earlobes and the impact upon earwax in the great Apes. This area of research is a great interest of mine. Actually I registered online and they took my money... not a lot of esteemed personas like myself attend such important scientific meetings, you know. Anyway they took my registration fee and I scored a free stale beer and a fishy taco during the welcome reception, HA! But curse it all, I missed seeing the Bigfoot, not even a filament of odorous hair or curiously mysterious body fluids. Such is life, I guess. Así es la vida. Well, time for another cerveza or maybe one of those fancy drinks with the umbrellas on top!" 

Alas, Mexico has been hit with Bigfoot incidents before: 

BigFoot Mexico Mayhem - - Mexico City on Alert!

Mayhem in Mexico as BigFoot Bungles USA Border Relations

BigFoot in Mexico City?

Malo BIG Bigfoot Adventure at Costa Maya Mexico!

Sasquatch Sighted at Pyramid Lake!

 Perplexing Bigfoot Panic at Pyramid Lake! 

Confirmed* reports from Nevada's Pyramid Lake bring the astounding news that a bonafide Bigfoot was spotted at sunset prowling the shore looking for leftover fast-food delicacies. "I was gobsmacked, flabbergasted, aghast!", said a perturbed fisherman, "The sun was going down over the lake, a crescent moon was out, and there was moonshine for everyone. I prefer mine at 150 proof, thank you very much. Well there we were enjoying the scene and our dinner cooking. Suddenly this hideous ape-man came out of the darkness, waltzed by our camper, and napped our freshly caught Lahontan cutthroat trout! He left behind the Cui-ui Lakesucker fishies behind... the Cad! The brute ran off into the desert. We heard coyotes howling later on. They sounded distressed, like they'd encountered something very odiferous."

It came at Sunset! The moonshine helped the aromatic creature navigate naughtily during its theft expeditions.

A member of the Paiute Tribe, whose reservation surrounds Pyramid Lake, gave some historical perspective on Sasquatch. "We see Bigfoot as a gentle well-behaved creature. He's not scary. We see him as a benevolent protector, a harmonious son of nature. Naaaaaaa, who am I kidding? We just tell that old fable to the children so they're not scared all the time!"

Pyramid Lake is just like Lake Tahoe except it's in the high desert, has a few living trees and other scattered vegetation, is essentially barren, wholly desiccated, rather desolate and... er, maybe it's not like Lake Tahoe? The lake is known for famous fish and seriously fanatical fishermen. The unique lake area is heavily used by movie studios as a stand-in for the Sinai Wilderness, the Sahara Desert, post-apocalyptic scenes in general, Star Trek planets, and planets involving apes. Burning Mannequin festival attendees travel through the area to nearby Black Rock Desert, which can easily fit all the luxury glamping RVs required to rough it. 

*Some demented fly-fisherman we know. 

Bigfoot Spotted in Fall River California!

 

Sasquatch Sighted in Fall River California! Fanatic Trout Fisherman Terrorized!

This blog has obtained an amazing exclusive photograph of a Bigfoot skulking in the Fall River Mills area of Northern California. The legion of touristy fly fisherman camped in the area, easily prone to paleo panic when it comes to this sort of thing, were advised by the local sheriff to remain on high alert and lock up their extra ripe cheese, jerky and whisky supplies. 

A local ranger concurred. "Take precautions! Tie up unhealthy cheese snacks and adult beverages into a bag and toss it up into a tree branch, just like for bears. Did I say add a rope to it? If a rope isn't tied to the bag you'll never get your stuff back. These fly fisherman forget all the time. No problem, because I can retrieve your stash for my own consumption when the snow comes back again."

Bigfoot Sighted near swank Fall River Hotel!

The Fall River area has long been a stomping ground for Sasquatches. For Fly fisherman, the area offers a unique challenge as the large brown and rainbow trout in the area have evolved high paranoia and evasion traits due to frequent fly-fishing attacks and the nasty body fluids pollution emitted from Bigfoots. 

Dr. Blinng, President-for-Life of the YETI not SETI Institute and an avid fly fisherman (as long as he can bring his double-barreled spear gun), opinionated on the recent Sasquatch sighting. "I went fly fishing in the Fall River area earlier this year. Even with my gun I didn't catch a darn fish or nothing, not even a toad! I captured a mysterious bag stuck in a tree - - the thing was full of old processed cheese products and a half bottle of Kentucky bourbon - - quite a catch! Delicious!"

BigFoot Sighting in YellowStone National Park!

 Astounding  Aromatic Assault on Yellowstone National Park by Malus Simia Ape Man!

Despite efforts by the Federal National Park System to squash this amazing 'squash news, our intrepid blog - a service to humanity - has uncovered numerous photos and eyewitness reports of Bigfoot sightings at Yellowstone National Park. Tourists be warned: dangers at the famous wilderness area already include being eaten by bears, torn apart by wolves, trampled by buffalo, nipped by coyotes, fleeced by admission fees, and soiled by scared feral gerbils. Add Sasquatches to the danger list. 

Feral Sasquatch Spotted in Yellowstone National Park! Lions and Tigers and Bigfoots! 

A day tourist to the park was incensed. "Seeing a real live bigfoot was a shocking experience. The Park Rangers were nowhere to be seen! The big hairy ape sort of wandered around looking for trash bins. It stole my bag of organic Hot & Painfully Spicy Cheeetoes when I wasn't looking, the cad!"

Bigfoot beastie spotted at Old Faithful. Tourists thought he was part of the 'show' until the aroma of his mangy hide wafted over the unfortunates trying to pet nearby buffaloes. Few escaped the stench or stampede.

Even a stuffed and very deceased wolf at the park museum expressed its disgust at being near the hygienically challenged ape-man. 

The Sasquatch darted into the park museum looking for fried food of any kind. 

A shocked curator managed to take this photo as the beast tippy-toed past a T-Rex skull. "That bigfoot was scared of the dinosaur's teeth, yes sir! He slunk past as silently as he could go. Then he stole my organic hot & painfully spicy doureetos bag, the thief!"

Dr. Karl Blinng, Director-for-Life of the renowned YETI not SETI Institute in liquified Yuba City, California, commented on the Yellowstone National Park sighting. "I was conducting a serious scientific probability experiment at a nearby Casino in the area when all this sasquatch stuff happened, gosh darn it to heck! That's OK, we're busy scouring the park for DNA and scat samples of the beast. So far we've only found evidence of gerbils and homo sapiens in the area, which is surprising. But we're getting close!"

Erk Holohead, a loyal member of the Institute's Bored of Directors, commented on the lack of Park Ranger control of Bigfoot forays in the national park. "You'd think that the park rangers would have controlled the Sasquatch infestation in short order, but no! An insider told me park management is obsessed with ridding the park of two infamous criminally inclined bears - a sly pick-pocketing bruin wearing a hat and going by the alias of 'Yogi', and a side-kick safe-cracking specialist nicknamed 'Boo-Boo'. They've been trying to cuff these guys for decades, with no success. They have no chance capturing a bigfoot!"