Saturday, July 8, 2023

Sasquatch Bashes Baja! Cabo Crunched!

 Bigfoot Scare at Cabo San Lucas!

Mexico has been hit again by a rare but strangely persistent incursion of a nasty Bigfoot, this time afflicting the tourist city of Cabo San Lucas. "Cabo", or "Cartel" as many call it, is a well-heeled resort town situated on the very bottom tip of the dry-as-bones Baja Peninsula. How a forest loving creature like a Sasquatch made it down to Cabo is a mysteriously misty mystery. 
Visitors to a Gravel Yard, err Zen Garden, at Nobu Los Cabos were shocked to find that not only had the rocks had been moved helter-skelter, but a savage Sasquatch had done the dirty deed!

The Bigfoot caused quite a ruckus roaming the beaches and resorts in Cabo. Eye-witnesses said the beast has a propensity to grab ageing half-eaten fish tacos stuffed with jalapenos and melted cheese, overly fried yucca strips, and warm stale beer in bottles left sitting in the sun. "The beast is omnivorous.", sniffed a visiting gringa dietician, "But his healthy food choices were very bad!"

The Sasquatch was caught roaming around in an all-inclusive resort. Partial refunds were given to guests immediately after the intrusion in order to avoid cancellations and nasty social media posts by disgruntled tourists . 

Dr. Karl Blinng, President-for-Life of the YETI not SETI Institute in balmy and freeze-dried Yuba City, California, commented on the amazing Sasquatch sighting. "I was there you know. In Cabo. Cabo San Lucas. Yep. ¡Olé! I'd finally been invited to a serious scientific conference on the anatomical origins of hanging earlobes and the impact upon earwax in the great Apes. This area of research is a great interest of mine. Actually I registered online and they took my money... not a lot of esteemed personas like myself attend such important scientific meetings, you know. Anyway they took my registration fee and I scored a free stale beer and a fishy taco during the welcome reception, HA! But curse it all, I missed seeing the Bigfoot, not even a filament of odorous hair or curiously mysterious body fluids. Such is life, I guess. Así es la vida. Well, time for another cerveza or maybe one of those fancy drinks with the umbrellas on top!" 

Alas, Mexico has been hit with Bigfoot incidents before: 




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