Bigfoot Sighting near Panamá City! More Pánico in Panamá!

Tropical Terror Titillates Taboga - - Island Paradise Punctured by Sasquatch Appearance!

The formerly peaceful, slow-placed "Island of Flowers" offshore from Panama City has become the "island of weeds" after an aromatic Sasquatch was spotted roaming the streets of Isla Taboga during the normally sleepy, mellow, and placid middle of the week.

Terrified Taboga Tourists gaping at waving Sasquatch.

Lulu Lomax, an appalled touristic Aggie day-tripping eyewitness, couldn't believe her eyes. "I couldn't believe my eyes! Nor my brain either! Here we were enjoying a quiet stroll down a quiet street in Taboga, when a hairy apeman jumped in front of us and started waving like a maniac! Oh sure, it looked friendly enough for an attitude adjusted ape-monster, but it wanted our fried yucca chips. Making unhealthy food choices combined with bad hygiene.... that Sasquatch suffers from high cholesterol levels and evil body odor, poor brute."

Another Aggie visitor, Keeeener Kmesz, was calm but curious.... "I'd heard about Sasquatches from my family up in Montana. There's even an ancient rumor that one of my great-great-great-grandmothers was part Sasquatch. But I looked down upon such drivel, and never believed these crypto-creatures could exist, until today. I've seen the furry beast with my own eyes! I gonna change my major to biomedical crypto-zoololgy... this is cool, I think? I hope it pays? Oh, make sure the 'K' is silent in my last name when you write your world-scoop news story."

Only mad dogs and bigfoots go out in the mid-day sun. 

The siesta hour mean streets of Taboga quickly emptied of formerly relaxed people, indifferent dogs, calm cats, and confused chickens as word spread of the amazingly sanguine Sasquatch Sighting.

Safety First? Sasquatch ignoring "PELIGRO WARNING: BIGFOOTS" signage at Restinga Beach. 

Erk Holohed, a member of the YETI NOT SETI Institute, which is dedicated to the study of crypto-zoological creatures and the fleecing of unsuspecting Institutional investors, was not amused. "I'm not amused. This Bigfoot island attack hit too close to home. I was on Isla Taboga that same day, conducting an important experiment measuring the cumulative effects Cerveza Panamá, Ceviche, Patacones, Cerveza Panamá, and Seco have on the human brain. All paid for by a Federal Government research grant! Suckers. But that ape-beast almost ruined my experiment! Good thing I didn't include fried yucca chips in the dosage scheme."

Historical Bigfoot Sightings in Panamá:

• Wild Bigfoot Spotted on Taboga Island in Panama! 
• Panama Jungle Bigfoot Spotted in Darién Gap!
• BigFoot Causes Panic in Tropical Paradise!
• Jar Jar Bynx Found Dead in Panama.

Antipodal Sasquatch Attacks Again!

Agonizing Amazement in Antarctica! 'Snow Cone' Bigfoot Attacks Another Frozen Treat Research Center.

Just as an abnormally chill Antarctic scientific research community recovers from a incredible Bigfoot attack on a top secret Snow Cone R&D facility, another shockingly sickening simian raid has occurred on a Latin American funded raspao ice sourcing expedition.

"Si, I was there when the apeman attacked!", said a senior scientist from the Panama Raspao Technology and Optimization Project, POTRP - Proyecto de Optimización y Tecnología Raspao de Panamá. "It was horible, muy malo. We were sooooooo close to creating the perfect ice for raspao. This new ice would have revolutionized the domestic raspao industry. Now, disaster! This ape ruined everything. All is contaminated. Perhaps we can create better ice cubes for jugo de naranja y seco, but that is a sad consolation. Muy interesente, we found a unique form of yellow snow near the ruined raspao ice columns. It looks like limones. Tastes like papas fritas rancias. We will take this yellow snow sample back to Panamá and analyze it... we've found a formidable new raspao flavor!"

The Antarctic Sasquatch before his assault on massive raspao research ice columns.

Hairy Bigfoot contaminating precious Antarctic raspao ice columns. Months of research destroyed. 

Fortunately for the YETI NOT SETI INSTITUTE but unfortunately for our intrepid, trusting, but totally fooled unpaid intern, Jassyka Blinng once again experienced a shocking in-your-face and in-your-nose Antarctic Sasquatch sighting. "I can't believe it! After the earlier Bigfoot attack, I've been terribly traumatized. Now this new attack. Those clowns at the institute told me I'd have fun in the snow! They said there was a ski lodge here. What crooks! I'd sue that so-called 'Institute' for fraud if they had any funds."

Dr. Karl Blinng, Director of the Institute, was touchy and defensive about the decision to send an unpaid intern into such dangerous circumstances. "So I'm a bit touchy and defensive today, OK? My submitted expert article to Sasquatch Theoretical Journal was rejected, again. And hey, whoever said the pursuit of deep-freeze scientific knowledge was easy? Besides, Ms. Blinng signed a well-covered liability waiver before she left on that icy expedition. Legally, we're totally in the clear. Our lawyer Ricard Scheister assures me we'll beat any rap. Who wouldn't trust a lawyer named Scheister?"

Erk Holohed, a member of the institute's bored of directors, tweeted an unauthorized update on raspao - - "I love Raspao! Especially this new limón flavor. #yellowsnow".

Antarctic Anarchy as Snowy Sasquatch Sighted!

Abominable Apeman Assaults Antarctic Research Project!
Frozen Anthropologists Astounded! 


Reports are thawing out that a recent Antarctica science research expedition was frozen into shock when an unwelcome Sasquatch disrupted a top-secret snow-cone R&D research project. "I was amazed when I saw the hairy creature!", said a member of the science team, "I froze solid in sheer fright from seeing the beast - - I was already semi-frostbit due to the generally miserable weather conditions.  When I signed up for this stupid expedition they said we're going to someplace warm and balmy. They meant the ice igloos we made for emergency shelters. Liars."

Antarctic Bigfoot caught on camera, marauding the unsuspecting snow-cone research center. 

Months of precious snow-cone R&D work was destroyed by the Bigfoot, or abandoned by the team as the area was hastily evacuated. "This rivals the Scott Expedition in terms of Antarctic disasters.", said a veteran snow-flake researcher, "Snow. Ice. Wind-Chill. Howling Gales. Snow. Untold Misery. Snow. Boring Food. Snow. And then Sasquatch - - that apeman was the straw that broke the penguin's back".

The beast traversing the ice fields after rampaging through the snow-cone R&D zone. 

The YETI Not SETI Institute was unlucky enough to have sent a naive but clueless laboratory intern on the ill-fated snow-cone expedition into the depths of Antarctica's frozen wastes. Jassyka Blinng survived the Sasquatch attack, but between sasquatch shock and frostbit fingers doctors say she may never be the same. She is considering changing her major to the study of hot, humid, hot, tropical rainforest Mollusca Gastropoda.

However, Jassyka was upbeat about the snow-cone expedition. "You know, even with the Antarctic Bigfoot nastiness and the loss of our research, we did discover a peculiar yellow snow in the area. It has a most interesting taste, sort of like rancid tater tots aren't. We've sampled this 'lemon' snow for further chemical analysis. The world may savor a novel new snow-cone flavor soon!"