Agonizing Amazement in Antarctica! 'Snow Cone' Bigfoot Attacks Another Frozen Treat Research Center.
Just as an abnormally chill Antarctic scientific research community recovers from a incredible Bigfoot attack on a top secret Snow Cone R&D facility, another shockingly sickening simian raid has occurred on a Latin American funded raspao ice sourcing expedition."Si, I was there when the apeman attacked!", said a senior scientist from the Panama Raspao Technology and Optimization Project, POTRP - Proyecto de Optimización y Tecnología Raspao de Panamá. "It was horible, muy malo. We were sooooooo close to creating the perfect ice for raspao. This new ice would have revolutionized the domestic raspao industry. Now, disaster! This ape ruined everything. All is contaminated. Perhaps we can create better ice cubes for jugo de naranja y seco, but that is a sad consolation. Muy interesente, we found a unique form of yellow snow near the ruined raspao ice columns. It looks like limones. Tastes like papas fritas rancias. We will take this yellow snow sample back to Panamá and analyze it... we've found a formidable new raspao flavor!"
The Antarctic Sasquatch before his assault on massive raspao research ice columns. |
Hairy Bigfoot contaminating precious Antarctic raspao ice columns. Months of research destroyed. |
Fortunately for the YETI NOT SETI INSTITUTE but unfortunately for our intrepid, trusting, but totally fooled unpaid intern, Jassyka Blinng once again experienced a shocking in-your-face and in-your-nose Antarctic Sasquatch sighting. "I can't believe it! After the earlier Bigfoot attack, I've been terribly traumatized. Now this new attack. Those clowns at the institute told me I'd have fun in the snow! They said there was a ski lodge here. What crooks! I'd sue that so-called 'Institute' for fraud if they had any funds."
Dr. Karl Blinng, Director of the Institute, was touchy and defensive about the decision to send an unpaid intern into such dangerous circumstances. "So I'm a bit touchy and defensive today, OK? My submitted expert article to Sasquatch Theoretical Journal was rejected, again. And hey, whoever said the pursuit of deep-freeze scientific knowledge was easy? Besides, Ms. Blinng signed a well-covered liability waiver before she left on that icy expedition. Legally, we're totally in the clear. Our lawyer Ricard Scheister assures me we'll beat any rap. Who wouldn't trust a lawyer named Scheister?"
Erk Holohed, a member of the institute's bored of directors, tweeted an unauthorized update on raspao - - "I love Raspao! Especially this new limón flavor. #yellowsnow".
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