Apple Computer CEO Steve Jobs Packing Sasquatch Liver!
Hairy BigFoot Beast sans Liver with Surgical Scar Roaming Apple HQ -- Looking for Steve Jobs?
Apple Security Video Catching BigFoot Intruder, showing scar from recent surgery. Sasquatch searched Apple HQ but "didn't know how to get past the lobby". The Caffe Macs Cafe, in the background, is full of Apple employees drinking Mac Lattes, oblivious to the Ape Man's liverless presence.
Liver and Onions Conspiracy thinkers say Steve Jobs got a replacement Liver from Bigfoot. Clues are piling up: "Jobs has a Sasquatch Donor Liver". The wild Sasquatch raid on the Apple Computer Cupertino HQ this Spring raised eyebrows, especially hairy Scottish ones: "Aye, this raises seeerious questions about the source 'a Steve Jobs' liiiveer", according to a world expert in Loch-Ness Monster Liverology, Dolaidh McDermmit.
Sasquatch Searching for Steve Jobs: Does BigFoot want his liver back? Just wants to say hello to his liver? Buy an IPhone at the HQ Apple store?
Dr. Karl Bling, Director of the YETI not SETI Research Institute in Yuba City, was strangely over-excited about the connection between BigFoot organs and Steve Jobs. "Steve, if you are listening, PLEASE, I want to take just a very small part of your new hairy Liver and get it tested for Sasquatch DNA. You can keep the rest. I'll pay you $3,000 and I'll buy a used IPOD Touch once I get these cursed IRS financial audit agents off my back!"
1 comment:
While I can reveal that Steve ate Liver and Onions for breakfast last week and his five o'clock shadow is getting heavier by the week, it is Apple Computer's policy to neither confirm or deny if Steve Jobs does or does not have a BigFoot Liver.
Spokesman, Apple Computer
Cupertino
Post a Comment