Saturday, June 27, 2009

Ballmer BigFoot Raids Googleplex?

Bigfoot invades Googleplex.

Sasquatch Search Results At Google Headquarters... Creature Makes Strange "Bing" Noises!

A big hairy BigFoot "who looked liked he need to go through a car wash twice" ran through the Googleplex HQ Campus in Mountain View last week, causing surprised Googlers to reach for their nearest search algorithms for answers.

Sasquatch searches for Google snacks.
The Sasquatch intruder sprinted through the heart of GooglePlex Plaza and past the corporate hot-tub and herb gardens, causing chaos. Google employees who spotted him nearly choked on their catered tofu-tea infused organic salads, furiously Google-searching their Android phones for a "strange hairy beast, looks like Steve Ballmer"... results were inconclusive. Rumors persist, however, that the MicroSoft executive was spying on Google for clues to help make his new BING search engine rule the world and replace "Google" as the new verb for search.

A Google employee who saw Sasquatch bump into a Google personal trainer and a Google yoga guru by accident said "I can't believe the creature was Steve Ballmer, that Bigfoot had a full head of hair and he didn't throw one single chair! That was a boring BigFoot."

A MicroSoft spokesman denied that the mysterious BigFoot visit had anything to do with their company. "Just because a crazy ape man runs into Google HQ yelling "BING" over and over doesn't make him a MicroSoft agent.... besides, if he was ours, he'd require an "Intel Inside" label, which he clearly does not have based on the photos we've seen.... the whole idea is absurd. Are we that desperate? BING! BING!"

On a related Silicon Valley Sasquatch mystery, Steve Jobs is still not answering growing questions about his alleged BigFoot Liver. Experts are watching to see if he grows a beard again.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Hey, when I search for images of myself using "Bigfoot" on BING I only see dumb pictures of that sasquatch poser Johnny Damon? Man is he ugly!

What's up with that?!