BIGFOOT ATTACK ON THE AMERICAN RIVER!

PANIC IN SACRAMENTO! More than Usual!
CITY ON ALERT AFTER RARE BIGFOOT ATTACK.

Two Sacramento baseball players had a close encounter with a suspected BigFoot. Garet Duntley, one of the eyewitnesses, said from his hospital bed that he and a fellow player were chasing a long ball that went into a park along the American River. "It was a cold overcast Saturday afternoon at the American River, and after finding the baseball we looked around and saw a creepy strange creature in the water, it looked like he was fishing for Salmon."

When spotted, the animal suddenly jumped out of the water and lunged into the bush. Seconds later BigFoot appeared and charged the eyewitnesses. "I think it got mad because we threw the baseball at it when it was fishing and whacked him in the head. When we laughed he really got mad" said Toney Torrezz, the other survivor of the attack. Bigfoot lunged at the victims and both of them fainted in total fright. When they recovered, BigFoot was gone. Only the baseball was left, ripped into tiny shreds by the creature. Sacramento Police announced that a "significant man-hunt, er, Sasquatch-hunt is going on, but we are having no luck. We're still dealing with a recent alien abduction and we're stretched right now!"

Dr. Karl Bling, world-famous Yeti, Sasquatch and BigFoot expert with a Ph.D. in Pseudo-Scientific Investigations of the Silly Sort and Director of the "Yeti-not-SETI" Research Institute in Yuba City California stated: "This is remarkable news. I have contacted the two gentlemen and have asked for more information. I am willing to pay $ 3,000 for the shredded baseball. I am sure we will find, at last, real Sasquatch DNA and fantastic Body-Odor scents!"

BIGFOOT CREATURE SPOTTED IN TEXAS

Sasquatch Terrorizes Brazos River Texas!

Lost hikers on a Brazos River nature trail came face-to-face with a large, hairy and smelly creature that can only be a Bigfoot, also known as Sasquatch. "We ran right into him", said JJ Rupert, a local resident. 

Wild Bigfoot spotted by the Brazos River.

"I'd never seen anything like it, except at the Fort Bend County Fair!" said local Richmond resident Lucy "Lulu" Lomax, "When I saw the ape-man, I thought I was hallucinating. Luckily I took the pictures quickly or nobody would have believed us!"
The eye-witnesses said Bigfoot looked a bit distracted. BigFoot was caught in these amazing photos crossing a path when he was spotted. Sasquatch's body odor reminded the startled hikers as "smelling like onions, fried not sauteed, with just a hint of garlic".

Sasquatch terrorizing hikers on Brazos River Nature Trail.

Karl Blinng, Ph.D. in Sasquatchology and Director of the YETI not SETI Institute and Research Center in Yuba City, California was estatic. Bling said "This is a historic moment, we long suspected that the Sasquatch population had a range that extended east of somewhere I've forgotten, but never did we think that these creatures would be found along the Texas Gulf Coast. I have authorized the payment of $ 3,000 to obtain these proof-positive photos from those brave people who took them! At last, we have solid evidence BigFoot exists! Not like last time."

BIG FOOT WATCH NEWS will continue to cover this amazing story.