Sunday, March 10, 2013

Colombia BigFoot Sighting!

Bigfoot Boogie in Bogota?

Beautiful Bogotá Colombia has been badly bothered by a savage series of horrible high-altitude Bigfoot sightings. While no one has been physically hurt, complaints of nausea and migraine headaches have flooded local bars and hospitals in neighborhoods where a rare, slinking Sasquatch has been discovered.
Brazen Bogota Bigfoot sightings have
provoked massive disgust in the city.
"¡Qué mono feo! Just seeing that lice ridden beast from across Calle 100 during rush hour was enough to make me sick.", said a local commuter, now under closely monitored canelazo drinks sedation in a local cantina.

"We Rolos are rather realistic, but today Rolos are revolted, ruined, and reeling from this wretched event.", said local crypto-anthropogicial history expert Dr. Julioo Juminez Juvier Jablonwski, senior fellow at the Corporación Universal de Investigación y Tecnología de Cosas Tontas (CORUNIVITECCT) in Bogota.

Bizarre Bogota Bigfoot caught on camera,
searching for day-old deep-fried street vendor food.
"This rare Colombian Sasquatch displayed typical behaviors seen in specimens of gigantopithicus revoltus sighted across the world", explained Dr. Julioo, "the ape-man exhibited superb hunter gatherer skills - it  stalked old deep-fried street foods, especially empanadas rancios, and was involved in several hostile confrontations with tiny yappy dogs. The apeman animal apparently does not understand basic personal hygiene habits. This is normal Sasquatch behavior in the wild."

The Bogota police's elite SWAT (Sasquatch Where Art Thou?) team is conducting a systematic search in this city of over 10 million certified homo sapiens for the elusive Sasquatch.

Erk Holohed, a North American (gringo mentecato) businessman visiting Bogota during the Sasquatch scare was an eye-witness to the nasty beast prowling Calle 100 and shared his simian street ordeal... "That bigfoot apeman was an olfactory disaster, let me tell you. Luckily I was upwind. People downwind on the street weren't so lucky, poor devils. If that hairy menace had invaded Andrés Carne de Res, every floor in the restaurante would have to be renamed infierno!"

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