Sasquatch infiltrates Schlitterbahn Water Park in Galveston - - Panic in Tube City!
Park officials are silent concerning reports a wandering Bigfoot invaded the Schlitterbahn water park, but visitors know what they saw - - and it was hairy, smelly and repulsive. "The wave pool scared the heck out of him - he kept looking for sharks!", said one park guest, "That beast was more interested in poaching french-fries than doing water rides, what a smelly pig.", said another.
Five eye-witnessess to the alleged Bigfoot foray into Schlitterbahn Galveston were so heavily traumatized that they had to eat second helpings of Dufus Dots - Ice Chunks of the Future! ®. Lulu Lomax from Richmond Texas said "We wer like texting people we no about the lazy river ride and like we got hungry and wanted Dufus Dots but they didn't hav strawberry and like, we want strawberry but they only hav blueberry-banana or chocolate vanilla LOL so we texted about - what drama - and then we got chocolate vanilla instead and OMG that ugly cave man runs past and like we wer scared 2 but BTW we 8 our Dufus Dots anyway, u know?"*.
Immediately after the Bigfoot incident the five victims were placed into a Dufus Dots witness protection program and now live in Bluebell, Texas.
Briian Lerkey, Pseudo-Expert on Sasquatchology ("I have a Ph.D., dang it!") at Rice University, was puzzled. "What I don't understand is why didn't the BigFoot also invade Moody Gardens? It's right next door and the french-fries are just as good there. Perhaps the penguins scare them? These ape-beasts are truly mysterious... there is much we don't know about them. For example, no one knows if Bigfoots prefer Coke or Pepsi... too many questions, not enough answers!"
*A Translation into English is not available, nor theoretically possible.