Sunday, April 17, 2011

Bigfoot Slaps Seal Senseless!

Exclusive: Big Sur Bigfoot knocks Elephant Seal Languid with Odoriferous Olfactory Onslaught!

A stunned professional nature photograher from Martinez, California took this amazing live-action shot of a rare Big Sur Bigfoot stupifying a local elephant seal named "Bubbles" at Año Nuevo State Park, California. "Look, I was taking photos of these big fat lazy beasts (the seals, not the tourists), and I had this great shot of this one seal - - I mean National Geographic cover stuff, baby! Kaa-ching! Man, I could see the dollar signs floating over the animal's head! Then suddenly, out of nowhere, this smelly monkey menace ape-man ran by and the poor seal passed out with fright! Totally wrecked my shot! My lens cap melted too. Now I have to salvage what I can and try selling this lousy photo on Ebay - - I hear there are crazy people out there who will pay $3,000 for this sort of garbage."

Sasquatch harassing California Elephant Seal.
Dazed California Elephant Seal confronts Big Sur Sasquatch in amazingly annoying Animal Planet footage.

Año Nuevo Park rangers confirm that "Bubbles" has been in a sullen state of shock ever since the sorry Sasquatch encounter. 

Dr. Karl Blinng, Director of the peculiar YETI not SETI Institute in agrarian Yuba City, California, was optimistically panicked. "Darn it! Where is I.T. when you need them! I need my computer fixed now so I can buy that precious photo on Ebay. I must have it. $3,000 is a steal. That dumb photographer has no idea of the true value of that picture, the fool. This photo proves my amazing theory confirming an evolutionary link between Elephants, Seals, Sasquatches and rancid sea water. I must get this stupid computer fixed... I wonder if this has something to do with all those websites my I.T. guy said I should never visit again?"

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