Saturday, November 19, 2011

Chaos in China! Sino Sasquatch Scares Great Wall!

Bigfoot Sighted at Great Wall of China!

A day at the Great Wall of China was ruined for thousands of Chinese and international tourists when a badly bathed Bigfoot was discovered dithering on the famous wall at Badaling, just outside of Beijing. In the ensuing panic, several hundred priceless 'I saw the Great Wall while standing on my head' t-shirts were lost. "Great Wall not-so-great now", said a local Great Wall cheap baseball cap vendor, "that stinky yeti sneak in, cause trouble, no good, no good!".
Sneaky Sasquatch blending in with crowds of unsuspecting tourists at Great Wall.
The throngs of Great Wall visitors were blissfully ignorant of the nearby proximity of the mangy monkey-man, when someone spotted the beast and screamed "YETI!". Immediate primate pandemonium ensued, with the Sasquatch fleeing the scene pursued by hundreds of irate tourists holding hanker-chefs to their noses in an attempt to thwart the 'inhuman stench' emitting from the hairy hide of the Bigfoot.
China Bigfoot running on the wall, escaping the rampaging mob intent on giving him a bath.
The raiding Bigfoot managed to steal some delectable street-vendor snack food before escaping, including fried scorpion and beetle-on-a-stick."He liked my fried chicken feet the most... he stole them all!" said an out-of-business victim. Almost famous Chinese Yeti expert Dim Wit Chann was weirdly excited by this Bigfoot sighting in China. "Aha! This proves my amazing theory, a theory which only true genius like mine can inspire... unlike that fool, that so-called expert Karl Blinng. This vindicates my argument that Yetis and Bigfoots are the same species of Gigantopithicus Revoltus, and share common body odor DNA! Scoreboard AGAIN, Blinng!"
Last known photo taken of the mysterious Sino Sasquatch
before it escaped into the mountains.
Erk Holohed, international cheap baseball cap trader and an unfortunate Great Wall tourist who witnessed the nasty Bigfoot incursion, was hysterically historical about it.... "Some Great Wall, yeah sure.... ancient walls never stopped hygiene-deprived barbarians from attacking civilization in China, Rome, Yankee Stadium, and the rest of the world. So if the Great Wall couldn't stop Genghis Khan and his unwashed horde, how was it gonna stop a marauding Bigfoot!?"

1 comment:

M. C. Pearson said...

This is hysterical. Love them Yetis!